Blissfully Child-Free

[Psylocide]

Aged cheddar/gouda (for those of us with teeth), fresh sliced red/orange peppers, Abruzzese sausage, cracked pepper & olive oil triscuits.

See you on the other side gents.

 

[TheCADJockey]

You seriously don't think that child would have a better chance with two parents who were deeply in love with each other???

I didn't say that, was just agreeing that if the situation was such that the kid was unplanned and the parents weren't in love... they should do what is right for the child, not themselves.

Of course two parents, deeply in love is the ideal situation. Don't get so riled up dood.

 

[TheCADJockey]

Not even slightly aged... pfft.

Do you even cheese bro?

http://stepoutbuffalo.com/lets-talk-aboot-allen-st-poutine-co/

No. I do however, fancy a good poutinery.

 

[SnakeRidge]

You should all be more matressey.

 

[iijakii]

Aged cheddar/gouda (for those of us with teeth), fresh sliced red/orange peppers, Abruzzese sausage, cracked pepper & olive oil triscuits.

See you on the other side gents.

That does sound quite legitimate. Not a snack, nay, but a meal.

 

[Psylocide]

That does sound quite legitimate. Not a snack, nay, but a meal.

That is my brew-day go to. Seriously, my buddy (if he's there) and I will eat $40 worth of that crap in a few hours.

 

[hunter_le five]

Pepperjack with bits of fresh jalapenos and habaneros mixed in, on top of some sort of cured meat product, atop a cracker.

I could eat that for days.

 

[1977Brewer]

Cured meat product, next to beer, is the cornerstone of our civilization.

 

[iijakii]

Pepperjack with bits of fresh jalapenos and habaneros mixed in, on top of some sort of cured meat product, atop a cracker.

I could eat that for days.

The universal theorem of deliciousness; it's a mathematical constant.

 

[Roadliner]

Screw it, just roll some Bologna around some string cheese, and you're golden.

 

[Psylocide]

Screw it, just roll some Bologna around some string cheese, and you're golden.

Get out.

 

[iijakii]

Or for a certain individual in this thread that shall remain nameless - cheez whiz, olive loaf and rice crackers.

 

[hunter_le five]

Get out.

 

[azazel1024]

Sometimes, when I get home from a night of heavy drinking... I just go to the fridge and empty the contents of a can of easy cheese directly into my mouth and just go to bed happy.

Its also good on hot dogs, hamburgers, chicken wings, lasagna, pizza, pop-tarts and sardines.

What the hell did I just read?

 

[iijakii]

Modern day poetry, my friend.

 

[Roadliner]

Get out.

No really, it's good.:fro:

 

[TheCADJockey]

Ermegerd bologna salad... bologna & those nasty little hard pickles grandma buys... all ground up together...

Spray that bitch with easy cheese and you're one step closer to total enlightenment.

 

[azazel1024]

Because a happy and healthy home life should be centered around a couple's love for each other, not the fact that they share a kid together.

Were they going to get married if she hadn't gotten pregnant?

It's bad enough when a happily married couple gets pregnant unexpectedly. At least they have a strong foundation with which to work through any difficulties. At the end of the day, they share a strong love for each other, and that will help them work through raising a kid they hadn't planned on having.

But if the couple is "meh" about their relationship to begin with, and then you throw an unwanted pregnancy in on top of that, that's a recipe for a hugely dysfunctional family, and a poorly-adjusted child. Maybe you're right, maybe they're the exception to the rule and they'll pull together, realize they were deeply in love all along and that they really wanted kids all along, and they'll be a happy family that stays together for life. I'm just saying statistically, that's not very likely.



Right. They're considering the next step (marriage) because she's pregnant. Not because they can't imagine their lives without each other.



I think statistics would disagree with you. There are an awful lot of single moms out there who didn't intend to get pregnant, and are now having a hard time providing for it without daddy around.

I've heard it said that a child magnifies a couple's relationship. That is, if you are already deeply in love and committed to each other, then a child will just make that family even stronger and happier. But if there are cracks in your relationship, then introducing a kid will magnify all those little annoyances that you've been biting your tongue over. Sleep deprivation will make you irritable and edgy and prone to lashing out. The case you described sounds like it's shaping up to be the latter, but I'm just going off of what you've written here, I know nothing else about the couple, I'm just playing the odds.



Statistics, mainly. Couples that stay together for the kids are less happy than couples who were already happy and deliberately had kids.

And there is something wrong with seeing if you can make it work and come to love each other have a functional relationship? Not to long ago most marriage were arranged marriage in SOME manner. I don't think people should stay together who hate each other or who just cannot live together. Short of that, I see tons of value in trying to make it work.

As for statistics on single moms? You realize MOST single moms as a result of a divorce, not as as result of a child out of wedlock. Also by statistics, most of those children were born more than 9 months after the marriage, whether they were all intended or not, I don't think there are statistics on that. Though I'd be interested to see the numbers if there were any.

Sure, plenty of people get married because of a kid, marriage craters and everyone is worse off. I know a large number of people who have gotten married because "opps!", including some of the best parents I know. My best friends have 4 kids. The first they had when he was 17 and she 15. Second she was barely 18 and waddled down the asle. They are truely awesome parents and love each other very much. Neither kids was in anyway intended. Sure, they were deeply in love before she got pregnant...but that also doesn't mean the marriage wasn't in large part because of the child(ern).

I know another couple who got married a couple of years before having kids. Have two daughters and are divorced because he is a horrible person. Verbally abusive, probably was cheating on her, etc. In fact, every single friend or close acquaintance I have who is divorced or in a really crappy marriage has nothing to do with kids and not a one of them got married because of kids.

 

[SnakeRidge]

Ermegerd bologna salad... bologna & those nasty little hard pickles grandma buys... all ground up together...

Spray that bitch with easy cheese and you're one step closer to total enlightenment.

Enlightenment via cardiac arrest. The preservatives will keep your corpse rosy though.

 

[kombat]

I didn't say that, was just agreeing that if the situation was such that the kid was unplanned and the parents weren't in love... they should do what is right for the child, not themselves.

OK, I think we'd all agree with that, but you said you "completely agree" with finsfan, who said:

Why in the hell would the child be better off if the parents loved each other?

which, to me, is an insane question to ask. OF COURSE a child with two parents who love each other is better off than a child with two parents who tolerate - or detest - each other.

 

[kombat]

And there is something wrong with seeing if you can make it work and come to love each other have a functional relationship?

Absolutely not! It's certainly better than throwing in the towel and just giving up. I'm just saying that statistically, the deck is stacked against that kid, compared to, say, his peers who come from parents who were already deeply in love and married long before they started having kids.

I obviously wish them luck, but I believe that the kid has at least a few disadvantages starting out, and he's not even born yet. It's not an ideal situation, but I guess I'm coming to realize very few of them are, and yet most people seem to turn out alright.

 

[azazel1024]

Absolutely not! It's certainly better than throwing in the towel and just giving up. I'm just saying that statistically, the deck is stacked against that kid, compared to, say, his peers who come from parents who were already deeply in love and married long before they started having kids.

I obviously wish them luck, but I believe that the kid has at least a few disadvantages starting out, and he's not even born yet. It's not an ideal situation, but I guess I'm coming to realize very few of them are, and yet most people seem to turn out alright.

I'd agree with you there.

Maybe I have an unpopular opinion, but it is why I don't judge those who get an abortion. I love my kids. I am maybe not huge about other people's kids...but on the whole, I love kids and think life is precious. But I am not other people. They need to do what is best for them and/or their family. If that means choosing not to have a child when they can't provide for it, would make all and sundry miserable, etc., it is not for me to judge.

My wife and I have talked about it at length. As much as I want a 4th, it would make my entire family's life so much harder. Make it much harder to put our kids through college. Much harder to save for retirement. We'd either be really cramped in our house or we'd have to move (and would have to move to a much less ideal area, because we can't afford a larger house in the area we do live in. Which means more time commuting to work and possibly worse schools). Might not be able to afford preschool for the baby. Sacrafice many family vacations. Possibly not do sports for the kids. Have a harder time helping our kids when they are adults. So on. Not a sacrafice we are willing to make. So the big A it would be. However, we've made darned sure an accident pretty much can't happen (IUD).

Other people have different opinions on the matter of course, and opinions are great so long as they don't get forced on people.

 

[DurtyChemist]

In. My friend says not having kids leaves you on the hook to take care of your parents as they age because you have the extra time without kids.

 

[hunter_le five]

I'm just amazed this hasn't been moved to the debate forum yet.

Or the food forum. Not sure which is more appropriate at this point.

 

[bob1852]

Or the food forum. Not sure which is more appropriate at this point.

They wouldn't give us the hot sauce forum. :hs:

 

[masaba]

I'm just amazed this hasn't been moved to the debate forum yet.

Or the food forum. Not sure which is more appropriate at this point.

Just put it in the debate forum and re-title it the cheese thread.

 

[Roadliner]

Cooking and Pairing? Or Cured Meat? I'm so confused....

 

[passedpawn]

I'm just amazed this hasn't been moved to the debate forum yet.

Or the food forum. Not sure which is more appropriate at this point.

I don't see a debate. People make choices in pursuit of happiness. Some have kids, some don't, nobody is wrong there.

This is just another one of those threads to test your restraint and tolerance. How'd you do?

 

[Homercidal]

I'd answer but I have to go pick up my kid from school. I think she's staying at a friend's house tonight so perhaps I'll get my birthday present from the wife a day late...

Wish me luck!

 

[hunter_le five]

This is just another one of those threads to test your restraint and tolerance. How'd you do?

Just fine. I especially enjoyed the bit about the cheese.