Best News Headlines

[balrog]

WORST HEADLINE EVER!!

https://www.audacy.com/kywnewsradio...hiladelphia-brewing-company-hops-harvest-beer
I thought I felt a great disturbance in The Force

 

[Northern_Brewer]

There's been some doozies surrounding the Queen's death but can I just say on behalf of the British people that we are not all this weird, and in fact find it quite scary that such people walk among us, unmarked and apparently without any psychiatric support?

Queen Elizabeth II: 'I brought my nan's ashes to see the Queen'

 

[Dland]

Meanwhile, in Oklahoma...

https://news.yahoo.com/semi-truck-carrying-sex-toys-194731231.html

 

[balrog]

Meanwhile, in Oklahoma...

https://news.yahoo.com/semi-truck-carrying-sex-toys-194731231.html

Reminds me of the story written by an investigative reporter on working conditions at an Amazon warehouse somewhere. Yes there were few breaks, yes there were stopwatches used on your ability to run helter skelter through the racks to fulfill orders, but I have to say the biggest takeaway was the inordinate frequency of orders for sex toys. All as gag gifts for parties I'm sure.

 

[sweetcell]

All as gag gifts for parties I'm sure.

the modern-day equivalent of "i buy it for the articles."

 

[Broken Crow]

Personally, I think of the emergency-room excuse of "I didn't see it when I sat down!... Please get it out!"

 

[soccerdad]

Bills fans throw dildos at Patriot players as they come out of the tunnel onto the field.

 

[Northern_Brewer]

Tomorrow all the British porn channels are showing something called "The Funeral of Queen Elizabeth II" without making clear if it's the regular version or something more, ahem...."spicy".

 

[Kent88]

British TV is weird

 

[Kent88]

Here in America we'd look at the description that's given along with the programme title when it's highlighted in the guide.

 

[sweetcell]

Bills fans throw dildos at Patriot players as they come out of the tunnel onto the field.

understandable. after two decades of being eff'ed by the pats during the the brady era, the bills have a lot of leftovers...

<hides>

 

[Kent88]

Beyond Meat COO arrested for biting man’s nose near Razorback Stadium

 

[bracconiere]

https://gizmodo.com/here-are-the-winners-of-the-2022-ig-nobel-prize-1849545482

 

[balrog]

Yep. I have often wondered about the mating prospects of constipated scorpions. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t appear to matter.

 

[bracconiere]

Yep. I have often wondered about the mating prospects of constipated scorpions. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t appear to matter.

for some reason, you just made think of stargate sg-1......

 

[Sailingeric]

OSU study highlights new yeast that will encourage sustainable brewing​

https://www.kgw.com/article/tech/sc...east/283-43b20904-c7f8-4e90-a216-6b92c06ee108Fairly sure it is called WLP090 San Diego Super Ale Yeast

 

[bleme]

OSU study highlights new yeast that will encourage sustainable brewing​

https://www.kgw.com/article/tech/sc...east/283-43b20904-c7f8-4e90-a216-6b92c06ee108Fairly sure it is called WLP090 San Diego Super Ale Yeast

I've heard Cosmic Punch is pretty effective too.

 

[Kent88]

I don't know if this is a good headline or a good headline:

Why it's perfectly normal to see baby puffins thrown off cliffs in Iceland each year

 

[balrog]

I don't know if this is a good headline or a good headline:

Why it's perfectly normal to see baby puffins thrown off cliffs in Iceland each year

Well. It certainly is one more thing to do in Iceland. Other than drink. Or look at volcanic rock.

 

[BongoYodeler]

Wait, I'm trying to wrap my head around this. Exactly whose poop are we talking about?

 

[balrog]

View attachment 782151

Wait, I'm trying to wrap my head around this. Exactly whose poop are we talking about?

Ambiguous modifier location, the bane of the language.

 

[soccerdad]

The way I read it, the scientists are pooping on the bugs.

 

[balrog]

First I thought, "WT actual F"
https://thetakeout.com/drink-cerveja-na-bundinha-brazil-tiktok-beer-salt-lime-1849594743

Then I read the article far enough to know it was just a different take on The Sure Thing

 

[Kent88]

Swiss court finds in favor of Lindt and orders Lidl to destroy its chocolate bunnies | CNN

Green text

 

[sweetcell]

Australian Wild Pig Drinks 18 Beers, Gets in Fight with Cow​

so typically aussie...

 

[Kent88]

 

[balrog]

Everyone would, @Kent88 ; everyone would.

 

[balrog]

Tag line, "Make Life Simple"

Start by using thousandth-separating commas differently.

 

[sweetcell]

Tag line, "Make Life Simple"

Start by using thousandth-separating commas differently.

View attachment 783127

{party-pooper alert} that's from the Hindustani Times, i.e. a news source from India. they do weird things with thousands delimiters (at least what we use as thousand delimiters). not that you wanted it, but here's more info: Hey! Who Can Explain What India Does With Its Commas? (Not Commies. Commas.)

 

[Kent88]

Police warn Oregon beachgoers about grenades washing ashore