Best News Headlines

[bruce_the_loon]

https://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/disgust-woman-steps-out-car-6497486
I like that they even decorated it :
The faeces was left in the street with a facemask resting on top, it is claimed.

I don't know if it was just us or if it has made it to other sites, but that article appears to have broken their web server. Been a while since I witnessed a good Slashdotting (points if you know what that means)

 

[Kent88]

If this isn't a persistent medical issue, and she recovers completely, I see this as good news.

Her music is terrible, but not so bad that I wish her poor health
Celine Dion cancels remaining shows of Courage World Tour due to ongoing health issues

 

[Northern_Brewer]

The world is going completely %$*!ing mad.

https://metro.co.uk/2022/01/04/90-d...n-a-jar-for-38k-a-week-hospitalised-15863914/

It gets weirder - she's now getting into NFTs of her farts, and is talking about fart candles...

https://metro.co.uk/2022/01/17/90-d...eveals-death-threats-over-fart-jars-15933173/

 

[soccerdad]

Never doubt the capacity of Irish ales to take it up a notch.
https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/man-faces-20-years-prison-031215935.html

 

[501irishred]

The only part that’s not fully believable is the mom saying no “immediate”. I’m sure the answer was no, eventually, but after grocery shopping with two kids, you can’t tell me there wasn’t a pause……

Texas woman arrested for allegedly trying to ‘purchase’ child at Walmart for $500,000 ‘because she wanted him’

https://news.yahoo.com/texas-woman-arrested-allegedly-trying-162532552.html

 

[Northern_Brewer]

 

[Broothru]

View attachment 756822

Wow! How that one ever got past the watchful eye of a desk editor (or in today's world, a spell checker) is a mystery. From the byline it appears that the story was written by a "stringer" at a local small town paper whose story got picked up by USA Today. The headline with the misspelling likely was not the mistake of the story writer or USA Today but rather the page editor in the 'slot' for the local rag Wooster Daily Record.

In the old days, at national and large market newspapers, the journalists would submit their stories to the editors desk (several editors sitting around the periphery of a curved table) who would proofread the story for grammar and spelling and then hand it to another more senior editor sitting on the inside of the curved table (i.e., the 'slot' man) who would double check their work, write a headline that would fit into the allowable column space and send it to the typesetter. The lowly typesetter was the last link in the chain and would be severely chastised if he ever questioned what the slot man sent him, unless, of course, he saved everyone from an embarrassing mistake.

Some mistakes are humorous like this one, though some could be embarrassing, slanderous or libelous and ruin the paper's reputation as well as bottom line. Sadly those days are long gone. Word processors and photo/electronic typesetting have taken much of the excitement and romance out of the newsroom. Television 'news' and video tape have supplanted the art and craft of photojournalism. In another time and another place in my life I did some time in the barrel writing, editing and taking pictures for small daily newspapers. It's a bygone era.

 

[Northern_Brewer]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-60122825

 

[MaxStout]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-60122825

Lol. I just read that one on Fark this morning.

 

[lurker18]

https://www.papermag.com/drake-hot-sauce-condom-2656397302.html?rebelltitem=5#rebelltitem5
Now that is some outside the box money making idea right there. If it worked she gets paid, now that it didn't she sues. Merica.

 

[davidabcd]

It would seem no different than someone grabbing a rotten piece of food from the dumpster behind a restaurant, eating it, getting sick and then suing the restaurant.
Someone starting a sentence with "I took it out of the garbage and..." should get them jail time just for being stupid.

 

[Jhedrick83]

https://www.papermag.com/drake-hot-sauce-condom-2656397302.html?rebelltitem=5#rebelltitem5
Now that is some outside the box money making idea right there. If it worked she gets paid, now that it didn't she sues. Merica.

 

[balrog]

“And he’s got a big KNOOOOOB”

 

[Sailingeric]

I will just leave this here.

https://nypost.com/2022/01/26/school-boss-debunks-rumor-that-they-provided-kitty-litter-for-furries/

 

[day_trippr]

I saw a link to that story yesterday. Refused to click on it. Still do

 

[Sailingeric]

I saw a link to that story yesterday. Refused to click on it. Still do

At first I thought it was an Onion article.

 

[doug293cz]

At first I thought it was an Onion article.

It's almost impossible to tell by the headlines any more.

Brew on

 

[Homebrew Harry]

... Refused to click on it. Still do

Same here....and I had the urge to cover it up.

 

[Kent88]

 

[Northern_Brewer]

https://www.thedrinksbusiness.com/2...ollowing-a-row-over-the-taste-of-busch-light/

 

[Broothru]

https://www.thedrinksbusiness.com/2...ollowing-a-row-over-the-taste-of-busch-light/

Reminds one of Jack Nicholson's outburst at the end of "A Few Good Men."

"You want the TRUTH??!!?? You can't HANDLE the truth."

 

[soccerdad]

Here in Georgia we change clocks by an hour if we travel to Alabama. Which leads to the adage, "Ah, Alabama, they are more than just an hour behind us."

 

[doogie]

Unfortunate truncation

This headline came across: "High-Speed Trading Firm Jump to Execute Retail Investors"

Full Headline: "High-Speed Trading Firm Jump to Execute Retail Investors' Stock Trades"

 

[homebeerbrewer]

Florida Man strikes again:
https://apnews.com/article/fb19a5d3699310da848d92693ce2da43

 

[Hoppy2bmerry]

Um-kay
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2022/0...t-Stafford-England-Marvin-Gaye/1871644340605/

 

[Northern_Brewer]

What's going on?

 

[soccerdad]

Um-kay
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2022/0...t-Stafford-England-Marvin-Gaye/1871644340605/

They're monkeys. They'd just as soon jerk off.

 

[Broothru]

What's going on?

"Right on, Baby. Right on."

 

[Kent88]

A motorcycle tire stuck around a crocodile's neck for 6 years is finally removed

 

[Northern_Brewer]

OK, this is a Reddit and not technically a "news" headline, but it involves someone from Florida being stupid so I think it qualifies here under bylaw 439 :