Best News Headlines

[day_trippr]

Finally, some good news!


A malfunction causes red wine to flow from faucets in an Italian town

 

[balrog]

This bumped (not really a strike per se) my funny bone -- an article that wanted to summarize the salient points up front, but the choice of wording was amusing:

 

[Northern_Brewer]

Whilst on the subject of coronavirus : https://metro.co.uk/2020/03/13/please-dont-masturbate-hand-sanitiser-12393761/

 

[balrog]

How to fritter away the hours on nationwide lockdown in Italy, the wrong way:

Couple caught having sex in a car in Milan are arrested for breaching coronavirus lockdown

 

[day_trippr]

Seriously, I don't get the whole rabid "Gotta Buy Tons of TP" reaction that seems to have been a thing...but here's someone cashing in...

Restaurant gives customers a roll of toilet paper with every take-out order
...

 

[balrog]

Is their slogan, "Our food is so good, it goes right through you", or something?

Topsy turvy world in which we live now.

 

[sweetcell]

from the archives:

Kid Rock Subpoenaed To Produce Glass Dildo As Evidence In Insane Clown Posse Lawsuit

 

[HoppyDaze]

from the archives:

Kid Rock Subpoenaed To Produce Glass Dildo As Evidence In Insane Clown Posse Lawsuit

Now that's a headline!

 

[501irishred]

Florida guy is becoming more considerate. A piece of toilet paper?! That’s better than a Cadbury egg!

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.ne...t-in-flagler-county-mailboxes?template=ampart

 

[day_trippr]

"new normal" indeed....

https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/08/us/toilet-paper-family-fight-arrest-trnd/index.html

 

[day_trippr]

Well of course!

Czech nudists told to wear face masks by police

 

[kartracer2]

I kind of hate to admit that I'm an Iowan on this one.

https://www.siouxlandproud.com/news...sking-police-to-check-narcotics-for-covid-19/

 

[day_trippr]

"WHEEEEEEE!"

https://www.cnn.com/travel/article/france-fighter-jet-ejection-scli-intl/index.html

 

[balrog]

they bought the boss a ride in a jet, from which he "was" ejected, without his helmet.

But landed safely.

Sounds like a well engineered reduction in force, gone bad.

 

[Robert65]

"WHEEEEEEE!"

https://www.cnn.com/travel/article/france-fighter-jet-ejection-scli-intl/index.html

Note to self: they don't actually have Jesus handles in fighter jets.

 

[GrogNerd]

not a headline, but it is the BEST NEWS!

my uncle, +1 recovered

yesterday it actually looked pretty bleak, he wasn't expected to come off the ventilator. today, he is sitting up, drinking water & responsive

sorry. just so happy, can't help sharing it everywhere

 

[balrog]

that is indeed good news

 

[day_trippr]

Congrats on your good news
We can use some more of that...

 

[HoppyDaze]

I just went through the same thing with a client of mine I’ve gotten pretty close to recently. Was in a ventilator for two weeks, practically unconscious... now he’s recovered breathing on his own, eating food, etc.

I was worried sick!

 

[day_trippr]

There seems to be a common notion that Covid-19 patients that go in respirators eventually come off them favorably. The actual outcomes are closer to 80% mortality. It's a grim disease that is still being understood as to the scope of damage it can wreak. This week it was found the virus not only attacks lung tissue but also can be found in cardiac tissues.

Be careful out there, folks...

 

[Robert65]

There seems to be a common notion that Covid-19 patients that go in respirators eventually come off them favorably. The actual outcomes are closer to 80% mortality. It's a grim disease that is still being understood as to the scope of damage it can wreak. This week it was found the virus not only attacks lung tissue but also can be found in cardiac tissues.

Be careful out there, folks...

Yeah, we hear about the cases where someone comes off a vent. What isn't noted is that most of the deaths reported daily are people who were on one. There is naturally some bias built in to what is reported. Man bites dog, etc. But we still need to hear good news once in a while, or we'll all wilt away however vigilant.

 

[BruceH]

The WHO suggests restricting access to alcohol during covid stay at home time.

http://www.euro.who.int/en/health-t...9-access-should-be-restricted-during-lockdown

 

[sweetcell]

The WHO suggests restricting access to alcohol during covid stay at home time.

http://www.euro.who.int/en/health-t...9-access-should-be-restricted-during-lockdown

this forum needs a "do not like"/"cannot countenance" button.

 

[bleme]

The WHO suggests restricting access to alcohol during covid stay at home time.

http://www.euro.who.int/en/health-t...9-access-should-be-restricted-during-lockdown

I can definitely see this coming from the same organization that said China was being open and honest about COVID and there is no evidence of human to human transmission.

On 11 and 12 January 2020, WHO received further detailed information from the National Health Commission about the outbreak.

WHO is reassured of the quality of the ongoing investigations and the response measures implemented in Wuhan, and the commitment to share information regularly.

The evidence is highly suggestive that the outbreak is associated with exposures in one seafood market in Wuhan. The market was closed on 1 January 2020. At this stage, there is no infection among healthcare workers, and no clear evidence of human to human transmission. The Chinese authorities continue their work of intensive surveillance and follow up measures, as well as further epidemiological investigations.

 

[day_trippr]

Earth Endangered By New Strain Of Fact-Resistant Humans

 

[bleme]

The never ending demands made upon patriots....
Put on your stretchy pants for your country!
https://www.cnbc.com/2020/04/28/cor...o-eat-fries-twice-a-week-during-lockdown.html

 

[GrogNerd]

couldn't have started with something less lethal? like manslaughter hornets?

noooo! had to be MURDER hornets

why not something non-violent, like jaywalking or shoplifting hornets?

 

[Robert65]

couldn't have started with something less lethal? like manslaughter hornets?

noooo! had to be MURDER hornets

why not something non-violent, like jaywalking or shoplifting hornets?

Non social distancing hornets... now that would be scary...

 

[bleme]

Woman killed by alligator in SC was doing homeowner's nails

Terrible headline - AFTER doing the homeowner's nails, she went waist-deep into the pond to PET the alligator. And it's not even Florida....

 

[day_trippr]

I think they'll have to chalk that one up to drinking, eh?

Meanwhile...this little dude was five freakin' years old and managed to drive a vehicle out to an interstate?
I'm torn between awe and the pathetic realization it took me another 9 years to "borrow" one of my parents cars for some unlicensed joyriding with the buds...

Cheers!

https://www.cnn.com/2020/05/06/us/5-year-old-driver-lamborghini-trnd/index.html