Best News Headlines

[day_trippr]

I saw that story and was gonna put it up here, then thought better of it

 

[soccerdad]

Yeah - thank God some of y'all have decency filters.

 

[ehall]

'have you ever loved something so much you'd kill it?'
why yes, yes I have! That keg of beer I made, it turned out awesome! I can't believe its gone already!

 

[Homebrew Harry]

Yeah - thank God some of y'all have decency filters.

I'm grateful for the others
* said while clutching my pearls *

 

[GrogNerd]

no... there's a FINE LINE between fishing & catching

or,

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

Steven Wright

There is a big difference between fishing and catching.

 

[homebeerbrewer]

https://apnews.com/article/697cdd6e1664d42f10439d6c624fe7f7
The anglers are safe, but what about the prostitutes?

 

[Homebrew Harry]

https://apnews.com/article/697cdd6e1664d42f10439d6c624fe7f7
The anglers are safe, but what about the prostitutes?

Prostitutes ? Maybe the wind didn't move it after all.

 

[Pkrd]

Fully paralysed man asks doctors for a beer after being given brain implant to communicate

I must get "Daily beer" added to my will.

https://www.stuff.co.nz/world/europ...fter-being-given-brain-implant-to-communicate

 

[Northern_Brewer]

https://metro.co.uk/2022/03/25/enti...-angry-a-police-dog-is-scared-of-it-16342126/

 

[Northern_Brewer]

https://www.manchestereveningnews.c...ster-news/drunk-drugged-up-man-tried-17176000
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/money/k...led-paedophile-premier-inn-denied-107-refund/

 

[balrog]

Decidedly NOT a best headline:
http://www.keweenawreport.com/featured/michigans-hops-farms-could-be-in-trouble/

 

[doug293cz]

Decidedly NOT a best headline:
http://www.keweenawreport.com/featured/michigans-hops-farms-could-be-in-trouble/

This line in the article:

"hops are only harvested every 10 to 15 years"​

Really makes me think the authors don't know what they are talking about.

Brew on

 

[Konadog]

This line in the article:
"hops are only harvested every 10 to 15 years"Really makes me think the authors don't know what they are talking about.

And that's why there in trouble!

 

[bruce_the_loon]

Oh the horror and the utter desecration of all that is holy.

https://yakimavalleyhops.com/blogs/news/hops-made-illegal-by-new-federal-law

 

[soccerdad]

What's the date?

 

[McMullan]

What's the date?

We could get some mileage out of this one.

 

[bruce_the_loon]

We could get some mileage out of this one.

The 32nd of March?

 

[balrog]

So (tragic) Florida Man is back
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/christ...h-other/?ftag=CNM-00-10aab6a&linkId=160574582

 

[homebeerbrewer]

A Darwin Award contender?

 

[homebeerbrewer]

Another Florida Man wins the Darwin Award.

 

[NTBeer]

So (tragic) Florida Man is back
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/christ...h-other/?ftag=CNM-00-10aab6a&linkId=160574582

All well and good but... how many "turns" did they take?

 

[Homebrew Harry]

All well and good but... how many "turns" did they take?

Yeah. No cheating

 

[MaxStout]

Javelina jumps into parked Subaru to get at a bag of Cheetos. Hatchback drops shut, trapped javelina freaks out, hilarity ensues.

 

[Dland]

Some kids have all the fun,,,,

https://news.yahoo.com/class-kindergartners-accidentally-drank-tequila-141411019.html

 

[homebeerbrewer]

In a statement, the school said faculty called poison control when they learned the children had been drinking margaritas, according to Fox 2 Detroit.

LOL, they called poison control too.

 

[McMullan]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-61155725

 

[Northern_Brewer]

https://aviationweek.com/defense-sp...s-inadvertent-ejection-overstressed-passenger

 

[balrog]

https://aviationweek.com/defense-sp...s-inadvertent-ejection-overstressed-passenger

Base EMail did not get doctor's recommendation to limit G forces to pilot
Passenger did not buckle correctly, did not set pressure suit on one leg, or snap chin strap of helmet
Ejected himself, helmet flew off, parachute did work
Plane did not correctly eject both seats as was selected

Not a stunning recommendation for the company that developed the plane and systems, but somehow fitting to send up one of the company's own to find all the flaws.

 

[Homebrew Harry]

Premature ejection

 

[day_trippr]

Eeeew!

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/woman-falls-in-toilet_n_62633b05e4b0ea625c073d1e

 

[McMullan]

Eeeew!

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/woman-falls-in-toilet_n_62633b05e4b0ea625c073d1e

A case of really being 'in the sh*t'.

 

[bruce_the_loon]

A case of really being 'in the sh*t'.

At least she tried herself, we had a school principal force one of his students to climb into a pit toilet to retrieve his phone, and then paid the child the equivalent of a couple of dollars.

 

[Brooothru]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-61155725

9th

Eeeew!

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/woman-falls-in-toilet_n_62633b05e4b0ea625c073d1e

I remember a class in journalism studying how to write compact, succinct headlines. And how not to. One that always stuck out in my memory was a story in a British journal about a man who had fallen into and was entombed in an outdoor pit toilet (we called them outhouses, growing up in the U.S. midwest) for quite some time before being rescued. The single column, three line headline read:

"Man
Interred
Lives"

Read it slowly out loud to appreciate the full irony.

 

[soccerdad]

There once was a fellow named Clyde
Who fell in an outhouse and died
And likewise his brother
Who fell in another
And now they're interred side by side

 

[soccerdad]

Charles Barkley admits to men banging him ...
https://thelibertyline.com/2022/04/22/charles-barkley-banging-you/

 

[homebeerbrewer]

So, hungry Florida kid grows up with a mom like this. This is how Florida Man is made.
https://apnews.com/article/3f5ebdfa4b1efa817062a9a25126b7bf

 

[balrog]

SM-nonFlorida-H. It's becoming a weird world of "Universe of One"-ness everywhere, for everything.

Esp on the roads.

Or God forbid you venture into a Trader Joes.

I stay away from Whole Foods.

Rant over.

Stay off my lawn. Now rant over.

 

[soccerdad]

Not to argue with you Balrog but I find esp on the roads to be extremely helpful.

 

[balrog]

Not to argue with you Balrog but I find esp on the roads to be extremely helpful.

You have to use ESP because nobody uses turn signals

 

[homebeerbrewer]

What are turn signals?