Best News Headlines

[histo320]

MAN SUES STRIP CLUB WHERE HE CONTRACTED SYPHILIS AFTER LICKING DANCE POLE

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PORTLAND, OR | A 28-year-old man who has contracted syphilis after licking a dance pole has filed a lawsuit against an Oregon strip club.

If he Les liking pole he was in the wrong
strip club.

 

[histo320]

If he enjoys liking pole he was in the wrong
strip club.

 

[lschiavo]

I'm glad you edited. I totally didn't get it the first time

 

[nmfree]

It’s called vomit fraud.

 

[Pkrd]

It’s called vomit fraud.

You should take an Uber that provides video evidence that you didn’t barf.

https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy...aper-reveals-he-was-livestreaming-passengers/

 

[AZCoolerBrewer]

Did Something Massive Smash Into Uranus?

https://gizmodo.com/did-something-massive-smash-into-uranus-1827315511

Scientists have been simulating giant impacts into Uranus since the early 1990s

 

[sweetcell]

If he enjoys licking pole he was in the wrong
strip club.

take 3...

 

[krenshaw]

MAN SUES STRIP CLUB WHERE HE CONTRACTED SYPHILIS AFTER LICKING DANCE POLE

but can he prove that he didn't already have it?

 

[nmfree]

Police: Naked man arrested at Planet Fitness said he thought it was a "judgement free zone"

 

[Sailingeric]

Police: Naked man arrested at Planet Fitness said he thought it was a "judgement free zone"

Looks like Rafi from The League

 

[nmfree]

Looks like Rafi from The League View attachment 580698

I imagine this is how he walked in, too.

 

[gratus fermentatio]

here's one...

 

[homebrewer_99]

Fan injured after being struck by hot dog shot by Phillie Phanatic

#1 - even the mascots of Philly sports teams are evil

#2 - who the hell thought hot dog projectiles were a good idea?

Think of them as Nerf Meat...

 

[histo320]

ORGY Announces Two New Members

http://www.blabbermouth.net/news/orgy-announces-two-new-members/

Must be one hell of an orgy to make news like this.

 

[gratus fermentatio]

The irony...

 

[nmfree]

The Booming Business of Luxury Chicken Diapers

 

[sweetcell]

Two elderly men escape nursing home to go to German metal festival

 

[Inkleg]

http://www.foxnews.com/auto/2018/08/06/nashville-carjacking-foiled-by-manual-transmission.html

 

[Sailingeric]

http://www.foxnews.com/auto/2018/08/06/nashville-carjacking-foiled-by-manual-transmission.html

Damn Millennials! Not like it is a real stick shift!

 

[GrogNerd]

Woman shoots masturbating bicyclist trying to break into her SE Houston home, police say

taking multi-tasking to a new level

I mean any two of the three simultaneously requires Cirque du Soleil skill

 

[Zuljin]

https://wgno.com/2018/08/07/chicken-covered-teddy-bears-being-sold-in-metairie-😨/

 

[ancientmariner52]

https://wgno.com/2018/08/07/chicken-covered-teddy-bears-being-sold-in-metairie-😨/

New Orleans. The San Francisco of the south. Nothing in either place can surprise me.

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

https://wgno.com/2018/08/07/chicken-covered-teddy-bears-being-sold-in-metairie-/

Pfft! Big deal. the Mayo flavored ice cream is worth mention tho'.

 

[GrogNerd]

alternate headline: Kaepernick's way back into the league

 

[nmfree]

Sex pigs halt traffic after laser attack on Pokémon teens

 

[kh54s10]

http://time.com/5372281/beer-mile-disqualified/

 

[catdaddy66]

http://amp.heraldonline.com/news/nation-world/national/article217264155.html

It seems that baby poop has an actual beneficial use.

 

[nmfree]

Florida Security Guard Fired After He Filmed Himself Farting for Six Months

 

[nmfree]

Ariana Grande is wrong about Crohn’s disease causing ‘butthole eyes’

 

[soccerdad]

Uh oh. Pecker leaks !