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Beer to Stay Away From

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The other day I was at the local liquor store and wanted to try some Baltic beers... Got Porteris from Aldaris (Latvian, and was pretty good) and Rock (Estonian, not half bad) and Crazy Brewski, a Lithuanian beer marketed as an Imperial Pils. Total drain pour. I feel bad about pouring a bottle, but when I took the first sip I started to worry that I'd lose my eyesight.
 
Mississippi Mud Black and Tan, it comes in a cool looking jug and is some of the nastiest beer I have ever had.

I used it as drain cleaner.

Cheers :mug:


My wife tried to get me to buy this the other day, all because of the cool jar. Glad I passed


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I haven't had it, and I'm never going to. Possibly the most unappealing label ever to adorn a beer bottle.

vas_deferens.jpg

This is right in line with the new craft beer marketing trend. Instead of having flagship beers that are really good, a lot of places are trying to cater to that beer snob, look at me and my beer label that matches my hat. It's a super uber rare release of beer and it must be good because A. you can't get it anymore and B. look at the label.

Falls right in line with the enjoy by from Stone. except its the date on the label thats the trigger
 
Brewdog Tokyo.....I had to pour it down the sink, and it was expensive shizzle too.

That one was terrible. Cloyingly sweet cough syrup. I got two sips in.

This is right in line with the new craft beer marketing trend. Instead of having flagship beers that are really good, a lot of places are trying to cater to that beer snob, look at me and my beer label that matches my hat. It's a super uber rare release of beer and it must be good because A. you can't get it anymore and B. look at the label.

Falls right in line with the enjoy by from Stone. except its the date on the label thats the trigger

You're missing the point of Enjoy By. Hoppy beers are best consumed as fresh as possible. Stone made a DIPA (an excellent one at that) and made the expiration date the label. This is a highly visible way to ensure their customers are enjoying the beer as it was intended. I saw a 6-pack of Ballast Point Sculpin on a store shelf a couple months ago that was bottled in 2012. The poor sucker that buys that without checking the date is going to think the beer is terrible because any and all hop flavor and aroma are long gone.

Stone-Crime.

I had a lot of trouble with this one. It is HOT, burning all the way down, scalp tingling HOT. It tastes like the chemicals that are in fire. I'd rather have Satan chew through my vas deferens than take one more sip.

I had the 2012 release of Crime and thought it was decent. I bought last year's release and couldn't even make it through the bottle. When a beer hurts you to drink it how can it possibly be an enjoyable experience?
 
I know I'll get some flak for this, but I had a bottle of Dark Lord (red wax, 2012) and it was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too sweet. It must have been a young bottle, I'm not saying avoid it. I am saying age it.

Also, I've read that 2012 was their worst year for DL, so...
 
roguebottle.jpg


Nothing about this beer tasted like chocolate, peanut butter, and banana as advertised. It tasted like fake chocolate and chemicals. I could probably choke down a piss flavored stout if it cost $12 a bottle, but couldn't stomach more than a few sips of this.
 
My wife tried to get me to buy this the other day, all because of the cool jar. Glad I passed


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew

I've had it a few times, it's not that bad. Basically a pre-mixed porter and pilsner. IIRC, it was very malt-forward with very little hops flavor. But I think the cool little jug is half the attraction.
 
Now, I have had a few JB's that were drinkable. If I remember right, they had a pale ale that had a surprisingly tasty dry hop note. I get it-- it is not as good as the beer we can brew!!! but it is 10X better than a Bud and actually a bit cheaper.

Figured I would start a thread for to talk about sh!tty beer. So that you don't make the mistake I did.

We have all been there "O that looks new, I haven't tried that before" -> 6 pack or bomber in the cart

Beers not to Bother with:

Anything for Trader Joes under the JB label- Everytime they get me with their low costs and varying styles of beer. Stay Away!
 
roguebottle.jpg


Nothing about this beer tasted like chocolate, peanut butter, and banana as advertised. It tasted like fake chocolate and chemicals. I could probably choke down a piss flavored stout if it cost $12 a bottle, but couldn't stomach more than a few sips of this.

Had their chocolate, raspberry, pretzel one and I felt the same
 
of all the smokestack series from boulevard, only a coffee stout (i think) and the chocolate ale were drinkable for me. i wouldn't buy either of those again, but atleast of those, i finished them. the other 6 or 7 i've tried....about 3 sips and i dumped them.
 
I like the bourbon barrel quad and the rye on rye from them. Those are the only smokestack beers I've had, but both were excellent IMO.
 
I haven't had it, and I'm never going to. Possibly the most unappealing label ever to adorn a beer bottle.

vas_deferens.jpg

I laughed at this label and showed the wife, who apparently brought me home one of these. She works at a high end grocery store and brings me home random good stuff. I don't remember it but she said I liked it.

I must not be very picky because I have never spat out a beer nor would pour one down a sink. I have some beers I would not buy again but would not refuse to drink if that was all that was available. Like eating haggis, I'll try anything once. I agree TJs beer is swill but would not turn it down if that was all there was.
 
I laughed at this label and showed the wife, who apparently brought me home one of these. She works at a high end grocery store and brings me home random good stuff. I don't remember it but she said I liked it.

I must not be very picky because I have never spat out a beer nor would pour one down a sink. I have some beers I would not buy again but would not refuse to drink if that was all that was available. Like eating haggis, I'll try anything once. I agree TJs beer is swill but would not turn it down if that was all there was.

whats wrong with haggis :confused:
 
The Mission St. Pale at Trader Joe's is brewed by Firestone Walker and is quite tasty if you get fresh bottles. Just sayin...
 
whats wrong with haggis :confused:

Nothing, I order it every time I visit a Scottish restaurant.:D

I will have to go try the Mission Pale again. Is it under the TJ brand? I have drank my share of the TJs other beers and came to the conclusion if I am too poor to afford better beer, I should stay sober.
 
Never been big on anything I've tried from Gordon Biersch. I've tried various beers beers from them bottled and on tap, and they just don't do it for me.

^^^ Total agreement there.

Anyway, my contribution...

I visited my brothers back in DE a few months back, and I was in awe of the universal availability and low cost of the various DFH offerings. That's what I brought to the party.

Then my younger brother goes on a beer run, and the bastard comes back with Landshark. I couldn't finish a single bottle of that garbage.
 
^^^ Total agreement there.

Anyway, my contribution...

I visited my brothers back in DE a few months back, and I was in awe of the universal availability and low cost of the various DFH offerings. That's what I brought to the party.

Then my younger brother goes on a beer run, and the bastard comes back with Landshark. I couldn't finish a single bottle of that garbage.

I agree with the Landshark comments. The fact that they bottle it in clear bottles makes me wonder how often people buy skunked batches of the stuff. It's nasty enough non-skunked.
 
I would like the further state that Voodoo Bacon Maple Doughnut is the single worst thing I have ever drank. Split the bottle with 3 people and even the bravest of us dumped it.
 
Sam Adams seasonal "Cherry Chocolate Bock".

90360_70442.jpg


Someone offered me a "beer" at a Christmas party and this is what they handed me. To not be rude I tried it. Horrible. I about gagged on the first sip. I usually don't mind Sam's seasonal and limited releases but this was not one of them!

I received the Sam Adams Holiday 12 pack for the office secret santa and was really looking forward to this beer. Cracked one open, took a sip and just about spit it out. It tasted like cherry cough syrup. Letting it come up to room temp didn't help. I ended up pouring it out and gave away the other one from the 12 pack.
 
macro lager shouldnt be mentioned because we all know its garbage.

I hate the cherry bock also. its bad.

I had this fruit ale from samuel smith. I think it was strawberry or something.
It was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sweet and sickening.
I couldnt even choke down a sip. I would have to charge a 100 bill per sip to drink it.

Samuel smith oatmeal stout, nut brown, organic lager and ale however are amazing.
 
It might not be your cup of tea but I challenge you to brew an American lager as flawless like the big three do.

even if I did id still give it to my dog.
dogs love crappy beer.


Hey everyone knows they put out consistent product.
Its just bland, flavorless, crappy, watery, fodder for drunks and very likely dogs.
 
Figured I would start a thread for to talk about sh!tty beer. So that you don't make the mistake I did.

We have all been there "O that looks new, I haven't tried that before" -> 6 pack or bomber in the cart

Beers not to Bother with:

Anything for Trader Joes under the JB label- Everytime they get me with their low costs and varying styles of beer. Stay Away!

You are right, that stuff IS sh!tty!
 
Don't drink Dark Lord then. Somebody did a hydrometer test on a degassed sample a while back and it was around 1.070 from the bottle :cross:

Speaking of Dark Lord, anyone going to Dark Lord Day this year? I got tix for the 2:30 session.
 
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