First time kegging questions for a fool

Ok so ive been reading about kegging all over the internet and i cant seem to find a solid answer as to what i need. im gonna throw it all out here so please dont bash me to hard for being so dumb...i know this is a lot sorry.

i want to keg a sweet stout that is about ready now and im not sure where to go from here. i have all of the pieces needed for a kegerator (fridge, co2 tank, keg, lines, fittings, shank etc...) but the numbers confuse me so..

-what temp i should store at (i was going to assume about 44°F)
-how long my beer line should be (all these damn calculators are crazy)
-how to carbonate the beer correctly (whatever is easiest at this point)


i really am not looking for all the math behind this right now but i will def get into it heavy on my next batch so im pretty much just looking for some straight to the point solid answers. if this is just to much then im sorry for wasting your time but this is all rather complicated to me any help would be Greatly appreciated.

This chart will help with temp vs co2 pressure for carbing and is fail safe. I try to use the set and forget method when I can. (this method takes about +/- 2 weeks after setting pressure to desired PSI and fridge is stable at desired temp)
http://www.kegerators.com/carbonation-table.php

Beer line I use around 5' of line and haven't had a foaming issue, except on some heavily carbed wheat beers.

There are some epoxy mixers that can be inserted into keg dip tube to help with this issue (see this thread https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f35/cure-your-short-hose-troubles-100151/)

hope this helps

most people includeing myself have 10 foot line and it works very well. I started with 5 feet and the only way I could pour is I had to turn the psi down to 5 or less.

Agreed, use the table to figure out carbing...I would start at 12 feet, as my 10 foot lines still give me a little trouble (coil it in the fridge)...I keg, purge, then put on 30 psi for 48 hrs, then drop to serving pressure.

set and forget is most accurate (won't overcarb), and shake method is least accurate (easy to overcarb)...the 30 psi for 48 hrs seems to be a compromise of the two.

Hmm okay we'll this seems to be helping so far...the thing that is confusing me on that chart is the numbers in the colored blocks....I think that's the volume? I don't know what to do with that number...

The easiest way to force carb is the "set it and forget it" method.

Fill the keg, and then give it a shot of co2. Pull the pressure relief valve, and do it again. This purges out the oxygen in the keg. Give it a final shot, and then spray some star-san or soapy water around the lid and posts to check for leaks. (I keep a bottle of star-san in a spray bottle just for this).

Place it in the kegerator at 10 psi and keep it there. In a week, pour about three ounces and throw it away (it'll be yeast sludge) and then pour a glass to check carbonation. It should be starting to be carbed up, but it'll be better in a few days.

Use 10' serving lines. You really can't have serving lines too long- the worst that can happen is it'll take a few seconds longer to serve a beer. But you won't have any foaming or other issues.

That's really the easiest way- just put the keg in the kegerator, and leave it alone. I have four kegs on the gas in my fridge, and since my fridge is 40 degrees, I have mine set at 12 psi. I just fill a keg, purge as described, and set it in the kegerator.

No shaking, adjusting the regulator, moving the keg, etc, is necessary. The only downside to the "set it and forget it" way is it takes about 5 days longer for the beer to carb up.

Yooper is definitely more of an expert on this than I am, but I just thought I'd provide a different strategy that works for me:

Place the keg into the keezer attach CO2 and carb up to 25-28psi
After 48 hours, turn off the regulator and purge all CO2 from the keg
After turning the CO2 tank all the way down, turn the regulator back on and bring the pressure up to 8-10psi
Pull your tap with a bucket underneath it and collect the left over sanitizer from the beverage line and the yeast from the bottom of the keg
Enjoy a drink!

It definitely tastes better the longer its allowed to sit and carbonate, but this is an easy way to enjoy your beer 48 hours after kegging. It has worked fine for me for my first 5 keggings.

Cheers!

I'm also using 5' of the Bevlex 200 3/16" I.D. tubing