Girlfriend hides everything (need advice)

[dfc]

I disagree. Regarding communication , this is a daily event. I can't tell you how many times I have stated the fact that "I really wish you wouldn't just randomly assign new homes to things. Or if you do, please tell me."

I hid her dumbells in the freezer a couple of weeks ago. She knew exactly why and we discussed it. I stated that I felt she was hiding my **** for no reason and I was going to return the favor. If she is doing this to teach me a lesson about being a slob, then tell me. Otherwise, please think before you do this.

Now she can have a little reminder as to how irritating it is to search constantly for something you didn't lose. Like I said, this is a daily issue. One that she will never admit fault to even when it is pointed out that she moved something and didn't tell me (Saran wrap was my fault because I should have just known.)

Her stuff stays hidden until she acknowledges what she is doing is wrong or she stops doing it.

All women are crazy (just to varying degrees). It sounds like you're with one of the crazier ones.

Women, before you get all defensive about my post I typed it because it's true. Just like all men are jerks (to varying degrees). We all have our shortcomings.

 

[dfc]

Just wanted to drop these off...

No joke, I dated some chick that seriously got mad at me because I cheated on her in HER dream. That chick is flat out NUTS! That was one of the least crazy things she would do. In the 8 months that we dated I met at least 3 personalities. She may have had more.

 

[Zuljin]

George Carlin covered this in his stuff vs sh*t bit. Your "stuff" is to her that which belongs to other people.

 

[Barnzy02]

Is your girlfriend a ferrett?

 

[MyNameIsPaul]

Is your girlfriend a ferrett?

/thread

 

[Ringmaster]

Took me Years to learn to deal with it, Just bug her constantly about anything she moves. Don't bother trying to find it yourself, ever. If it isn't where you left it just bug her till you get an idea about where everything is.

Ideally she'll get tired of being asked every time your looking for a fork because she moved them over a drawer for no ****ing Reason. Anyway, it gets easier but it takes time. Some chicks are just mental.

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

Anyone else get the feeling she's on some other forum ranting and asking advice that her live-in complains when she cleans up after him?

 

[HoppyDaze]

Does she have big tits?

 

[gsanstra]

She hides them so you wouldn't know.....

 

[noiz2]

Couple of things.

First she is NOT putting things in "random places" for "no reason". She is putting them where she wants them to be. She has a reason and it's well thought out. Her problem, or actually yours, is that she comes up with other reasons why something ought to be in a new place. Just because you don't see the logic doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

I do think this is probably partly because she has lived on her own long enough that she doesn't take others in to account when moving things, and she may be a bit OCD.

OCD tends to go hand in hand with ADD and the combo, along with the "on her own for awhile" can be a brutal combo.

I've been married for 14 years and my wife is all of the above. It drives me nuts sometimes but there you go. I know I drive her nuts in other ways. She has gotten better, and if you ask you my find that there is actually a good reason why XYZ is now in a new place. Since you admit to being a slob it's at least a bit on you. DON'T leave your stuff out in "common" space. Get a space that she agrees is your space and have her just put your stuff there when she finds it "laying around".

She is not trying to piss you off, but hiding her stuff IS trying to piss her off. I bet she looses her own stuff fairly often, goes with the OCD/ADD, she doesn't need you aggravating the situation.

And any "conversation" that starts off with "where did you put my ..." is a dead end. Try "I'm looking for... Have you seen it anywhere?". Your a slob (you said so anyway) so you might actually have misplaced it yourself. Probably not but maybe. So if you ask her to "help" you it will go a lot better than asking her where she hid something.

AND also she is NOT hiding things. She is putting them away. You just don't know where that place is.

So YOU need to decide what you want to do. If your "solution" is to act like a spoiled child and hide her stuff to teach her a lesson you should start looking for a place to live ASAP. All you are going to accomplish is she will find all your stuff so she can put in in a box on the front lawn while someone changes the locks.

 

[phoenixs4r]

On the Barny scale of hotness and craziness, where is she?

In other words, if she ain't that hot, ****ING RUN.

 

[lex990]

On the Barny scale of hotness and craziness, where is she?

In other words, if she ain't that hot, ****ING RUN.

Yeah. I'm not sure a ten is worth. Lifetime of hell. I say of no kids or other factors are keeping you there. Break free and go find someone you can live with happily. No sense wasting time finding another partner if you sense this is going downhill quickly

 

[brewthunda]

1 - Get used to asking "have you seen my xxxxx?" And "where do we keep the xxxxx?" before you spend more than 2 minutes looking for anything.

2 - get in the habit of memorizing where everything is as you come across it throughout the day.

3 - get a tuffshed man cave / tool shop where you can keep your stuff as messy as you want.

Just wait until you have kids who like to wander off with things and promptly forget where they put them. The running joke in our house when we find stuff in random places: "hey, have you seen the collander (or whatever)?". "Uh, yeah - its sitting on top of the dryer ... duhh!"

 

[bottlebomber]

Just wait until you have kids who like to wander off with things and promptly forget where they put them.

Funny you should say that - I have a 7 year old with a photographic memory who knows where everything in the house is. If I leave my keys somewhere, and he walks by them, he know exactly where they are. He can even find weird stuff that we haven't used in months. It's a trip.

 

[bottlebomber]

So how did this work itself out?

 

[nasty_rabbit]

So how did this work itself out?

If I had to guess, he married her

https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f19/mother-laws-356056/

 

[JebCkr]

It's been stated, I'm sure. But again...this seems like a small problem. And not even one of those small problems that masks a larger underlying problem...just a small problem.

Let's make a list of things your girlfriend could be doing that would rank higher on the list of problems:

1. Stealing your things
2. Destroying your things
3. Cheating on you
4. Being passive aggressive
5. Being flat out aggressive
6. Being abusive
7. Murdering you
8. Raping you...in a less than sexy way
9. Telling you you can't drink
10. Telling you you can drink, but then judging you.
11. Always talking about ex boyfriends
12. Making fun of your penis.
13. Cutting off your penis
14. Using you
15. Being sketchy
16. Being clingy
17. Not letting you stir the paint

I'm bored now...someone else wanna pick up here?

 

[Goofynewfie]

I think she is hiding the keyboard now

 

[jmendez29]

She hid the interwebz. :cross:

 

[paulster2626]

slap her

 

[HoppyDaze]

give her the "what for"

 

[dfc]

If I had to guess, he married her

https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f19/mother-laws-356056/

One is mcarb, the other is mtg4772. They're not the same person unless he has two accounts.

 

[nickw85]

Yikes, alarm bells are going off. She seems to be asserting her dominance over you and doesn't really want to merge her life with yours.

Either that or she has some sort of OCD. A good talk is in order.

I would put money on OCD. I constantly move my wife's crap. However I always put it in one of two places. Her desk or her dresser. She'd come home and its jacket on the kitchen table, purse on the counter, mail next to the sink, keys on the microwave, shoes in the hall, cell phone on the bed, computer on the table and what ever project she is working on all over somewhere. At least this was when we first got a house. She grew up in a house where people put what they wanted where they wanted and I grew up in a house where everything had its place.

Talk to her about a mutual place to put your stuff when its out some ware and she feels the need to move it. You didn't mention your lifestyle but maybe you leave stuff where thinks it shouldn't be.

Also ask here where stuff is. Don't use "where did you put it" Being OCD myself I know where every last thing in my house is including things I still have packed from when we moved 3 years ago and what box its in. I know where my wife's stuff is when she doesn't and I didn't even touch it.

Good luck