Funny things you've overheard about beer

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Bosh said:
Hmmmm doing some brainstorming...
-Get a wheat yeast strain with high low attenuation to leave a lot of sugars in. Having yeast in suspension makes it thicker. Anf othef stuff can overpower the wheat yeast taste.
-Enough base malt to get to 10% or so ABV.
-Every trick in the book to get thicker beer. Oats etc. etc.
-Enough roased malts to get it midnight black.
-Big handful of magnum bittering hops to blance out all the above. Some European hops of some sort for late addition.

Hmmmmmm....
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You forgot the 10w-30 motor oil!
 
Bosh said:
Wow reading back through the old pages it`s amazing how many myths get attached to Guinness. It`d be interesting to brew a beer that really is what many people believe Guinness to be.
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I'm thinking a nice ~10% RIS would match people's expectations of what they think Guinness is.
 
Before I miss the train- your CASUAL BEER DRINKER *looks directly down nose, swirling a room temperature RIS* seems to believe Guinness Draught fits the bill of Ten Fidy.
 
I was discussing my homebrew with one of my friends and he says to me, "You should try making a high gravity beer." I told him that I would most likely be brewing a IIPA soon and then he says, "I guess you would have to go up to the mountains to brew it though, so it would be tough." He was dead serious...
 
PackBrewer said:
I was discussing my homebrew with one of my friends and he says to me, "You should try making a high gravity beer." I told him that I would most likely be brewing a IIPA soon and then he says, "I guess you would have to go up to the mountains to brew it though, so it would be tough." He was dead serious...
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Gravity higher in the mountains? Your friend is not only stupid, but also wrong! I find that gravity is lower up here. Sometimes I can fly.

Edit: Sorry, should have said what your friend said was "funny" and wrong.
 
Gravity is sliiiiiiiightly lower on mountains because you`re farther from the Earth`s center of mass but you`ll get lower gravity going to the equator because the Earth`s spin makes it spread out a bit in the middle like anything else that get spun.
 
Bosh said:
Gravity is sliiiiiiiightly lower on mountains because you`re farther from the Earth`s center of mass but you`ll get lower gravity going to the equator because the Earth`s spin makes it spread out a bit in the middle like anything else that get spun.
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That is way too much science to contemplate with a hangover, this early in the morning!
 
Bosh said:
Gravity is sliiiiiiiightly lower on mountains because you`re farther from the Earth`s center of mass but you`ll get lower gravity going to the equator because the Earth`s spin makes it spread out a bit in the middle like anything else that get spun.
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Ah, that's the U.S. population's problem. Their not fat, they're SPUN!
 
Barley_Bob said:
Your Mom has an uneven mass and density.
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Physics lesson?

download.png
 
Yo mama so fat, her mass at rest is approximately equal to that of a neutron star traveling at (1-(10^-1000))c.
 
Up on top of the mountain, you're closer to one mountain, but you're farther away from the whole rest of the Earth. The rest of the Earth is a lot more massive than the mile or two of granite that makes up the mountain, so much more massive that being just a fraction of a percent farther from the center of mass weakens the gravitational pull a lot more than the mountain beneath your feet strengthens it.

You would feel less gravity floating at mountaintop height above sea level ground than you would on the mountaintop, but not for long.
 
The force of gravity is proportional to mass, but inversely proportional to the square of the distance separating the two objects (me and earth). If you double the mass, you double the force. If you double the distance, you quarter the force. This doesn't mean much in absolute terms, but may help explain why elevation "outweighs" the increased mass of the mountain.

Anyhow, happy to find that no one has questioned my ability to fly.

Flap on.
 
In other words, your weight matters more than the mountain beneath you, proportionate to the distance from sea level you are as well. Ain't science fun?! Especially with an Old Chub Scotch ale mixin' with Kentucky bourbon!...
 
Singletrack said:
The force of gravity is proportional to mass, but inversely proportional to the square of the distance separating the two objects (me and earth). If you double the mass, you double the force. If you double the distance, you quarter the force. This doesn't mean much in absolute terms, but may help explain why elevation "outweighs" the increased mass of the mountain.

Anyhow, happy to find that no one has questioned my ability to fly.

Flap on.
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The mass and density of the rock under the ocean is also much greater than the mass and density of continents. A mountain range is actually relatively light compared to the old and cold rock that makes up a sea bed. All elevations being equal, you would weight more standing on that ocean plate. The oceanic plates are actually so heavy that they sink way into the mantle and buoy the continents further up.


So, technically, any beer in space is a light beer. Astronauts are so lucky they don't have to deal with the calories.
 
Does this all mean that if I brewed my pale ale on mount everest it might be a 1.060 og intead of 1.050? Cause then I will brew up there and bring it down for fermentation to get more alcoho. To get wasted.

Bringing it back home...
 
Where's Billy with those berry punches?

* Announcement* Physics is not at all funny and certainly is not directly about beer. Now before I get a 5 page "well actually" I know physics has to do with everything, or everything has to do with physics, or some how that makes sense to some one, but it still isn't funny.

:goat:
 
So I inquired about Independence Brewing's Lupulust; I was told it was a New Belgian style Duval.......

It's a triple.
 
Bosh said:
OK, a few more pearls of wisdom from Home Brewing Without Failures (1965 home brewing guide):
-He recommends using brown or "burnt" sugar or even "gravy browning" to get the proper color for darker beers when you don't use many darker malts.
-He says you can get yeast from a bottle of commercial "Schlitz or Budweiser" and make a starter out of that.
-"The practice of using yeast from bottled beers can only be done successfully when the beers are dark; this is because only dark beers have a yeast deposit. Bright, light, sparkling ales do not have them." This seems to directly contradict what he said one page ago...
-He makes an aside about wine yeast and says that 14% abv kills wine yeast dead so if you want sweet wine you just add sugar beyond what is necessary for 14% abv and then the yeast will die and the rest of the sugar will remain in the wine and sweeten it.
-Another reference to skimming off ale krausen.
-Table salt is a good yeast nutrient so it's good to put in your beer.
-While a secondary gets an airlock, the primary should get a sheet of plastic with holes punched it in stretched over the top.
-As draught beers, by definition, have no carbonation if you want them to have head you have to buy "heading liquid" and add it to your draught beers. Would love a "well actually" about "heading liquid."
-If you don't use a brown bottle for your beer "the colour and sometimes the quality of the beer will suffer." This seems to be a reference to skunking but color? Huh?
-"The heavy froth one sees on the top of most stouts and particularly Guinness -- to which I am especially partial -- is mostly yeast forced to the top of the glass by the gas rising."

Love the "well actually"s I'm getting from my posts in this books, it's interesting to see what's real brewing history and what's the author being dumb.
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More of this!
 
Kirkwooder said:
Where's Billy with those berry punches?

* Announcement* Physics is not at all funny and certainly is not directly about beer. Now before I get a 5 page "well actually" I know physics has to do with everything, or everything has to do with physics, or some how that makes sense to some one, but it still isn't funny.

:goat:
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1975brewer said:
It has definitely squashed my desire to keep reading this thread.
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I take it you guys weren't around for the Great Economics Derail of Two-thousand-and-whatever. Physics is still an improvement.

:goat:
 
unionrdr said:
Uh...correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that what we're already doing? :D I can see where non-brewers might like that one. But then, they could just by a craft beer with those flavors already in it. And I almost always use 'chup as a base for bbq sauces. Except for my Italian-style one.
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I use bottled chili sauce as a base for one of the best, and my personal favourite, BBQ sauce. It also has beer and molasses in it, so...

:fro:
 

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