Funny things you've overheard about beer

CornyKegs 728
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My oldest daughter is 5.5 years old and as all young children she is very observant of what's going on around the house. Well now she is very interested in why "I like beer so much", she asks that at least once a week. LOL

Well any how, she loves flowers and I thought it would be cool to show her some whole hops and talk to her about hops. Plus next year I would like to grow some and she is all about it and wants to help since the hop cones look like flowers. I showed her pictures online of hop plants online too and that sealed the deal.

So here comes the funny part. Last week while I'm away on a business trip, my wife was making pancakes for breakfast. My daughter asks "Mom, are there hops in my pancakes"?

To me I thought that was hilarious and with her starting kindergarten in a couple of weeks, I can only imagine what things she will say about beer! [emoji15] LOL
 
wobrien said:
I think he's talking about the "touch of pedio funk" since that's a souring bacteria.

I think all beer descriptions that get into that detail, like "pear skin" and "confectioners sugar" is hilarious. Maybe I just have an unsophisticated palate?
Click to expand...

How about "horse blanket" :drunk:
 
pshankstar said:
My oldest daughter is 5.5 years old and as all young children she is very observant of what's going on around the house. Well now she is very interested in why "I like beer so much", she asks that at least once a week. LOL

Well any how, she loves flowers and I thought it would be cool to show her some whole hops and talk to her about hops. Plus next year I would like to grow some and she is all about it and wants to help since the hop cones look like flowers. I showed her pictures online of hop plants online too and that sealed the deal.

So here comes the funny part. Last week while I'm away on a business trip, my wife was making pancakes for breakfast. My daughter asks "Mom, are there hops in my pancakes"?

To me I thought that was hilarious and with her starting kindergarten in a couple of weeks, I can only imagine what things she will say about beer! [emoji15] LOL
Click to expand...

Hoppy pancakes? Girl may be on to something . . . :off:
 
pshankstar said:
To me I thought that was hilarious and with her starting kindergarten in a couple of weeks, I can only imagine what things she will say about beer! [emoji15] LOL
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Yeah, watch out for that...my little sister told her 3rd grade teacher once "my dad drinks beer every night." My mom got a concerned phone call from the school and had to tell them, "yes, he might have *a beer* on some days after he gets home from work, but no, he's not an alcoholic." :cross:

(Which, I can count on one hand the number of times I've ever seen my dad with a mild buzz. I've never seen him drunk.)
 
wobrien said:
I think he's talking about the "touch of pedio funk" since that's a souring bacteria.

I think all beer descriptions that get into that detail, like "pear skin" and "confectioners sugar" is hilarious. Maybe I just have an unsophisticated palate?
Click to expand...


The "touch of pedio" is what I was focusing on.

I don't get that whimsical with my descriptions either.
 
NickTheGreat said:
Hoppy pancakes? Girl may be on to something . . . :off:
Click to expand...
Hops don´t go well with pancakes, I tried. The bitterness does not work. What does work however is using saison. 1 mug of self rising flour, 1 mug of saison (replacing the milk), and 1 egg. Done. If you can also add sugar to taste or just sirup afterwards and such. Best simple fluffy pancake recipe I know and the saison does really work.
 
W0GWT said:
The "touch of pedio" is what I was focusing on.

I don't get that whimsical with my descriptions either.
Click to expand...

I try to be as detailed as possible if I'm tasting someone's homebrew and explaining what I pick up from it, but "pear skins," "confectioners sugar," etc., GMAFB.
 
Hows about a hopped maple syrup? I bet the bitterness/flavor would add an extra element to the extreme syrupy sweetness of the, well, syrup.
 
I just made some pancakes and didn't have any fruit so I dry hopped the batter with some mosaic. Yummy
 
Kiichi said:
Hops don´t go well with pancakes, I tried. The bitterness does not work. What does work however is using saison. 1 mug of self rising flour, 1 mug of saison (replacing the milk), and 1 egg. Done. If you can also add sugar to taste or just sirup afterwards and such. Best simple fluffy pancake recipe I know and the saison does really work.
Click to expand...

I need to try this, and I happen to have a batch of saison right now. :ban:

I've had good luck with vanilla porter pancakes in the past.
 
Went to the grocery store yesterday and checked out the beer selection. Had a pregnant lady come up and say "excuse me, my husband wants an ipa that isn't very hoppy. Can you help me out?"
Me: Uhhhhhhh almost every ipa is gonna be hoppy. Does he mean bitter?
Her: "nope, he said not hoppy"

Pointed her to flower power and Hamburg ipa as they only had a few ipas, and those are the better options. Maybe I should have told her to buy the oldest ipas in the store...
 
Psylocide said:
I try to be as detailed as possible if I'm tasting someone's homebrew and explaining what I pick up from it, but "pear skins," "confectioners sugar," etc., GMAFB.
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Yeah, that dude is just trying to sound really smart. I've only ever had Colette once but I did not get any pedio sourness or "rustic brett" quality (horseblanket) in any noticeable level, and I'm pretty familiar with that descriptor. But the pear skins and confectioner's sugar (because it tastes SO much different from other sugars) I totally got :rolleyes:
 
Horse blanket, dirty socks, wet card board, ear wax, a$$, and best of all, $h!t. I have heard all these used to describe beers. My question is "How, exactly, do you bring your self to a level of familiarity with these things to be able to use them as a control flavor to compare beer to?"

I have never tasted a horse blanket, let alone enough horse blankets to come up with a control standard for what exactly a horse blanket flavor should be. Do they all taste the same?

:goat:
 
Taste is very closely linked with smell and vice versa. This is why when you have a cold and are unable to smell anything that food becomes bland and you seem to lose your sense of taste as well. Those smells are strong and distinct enough that you can almost taste them which I would hope is how people have the reference.

Have you ever smelled something smelled so strong that you could taste it? Garbage is one. Socks and horse blanket are others.
 
I never understood the catpiss that so many people name. Thought they were just taking the piss. Perhaps cause I never had a cat. Now, just yesterday I had some 13 days old IPA and suddenly it hit me. That beer made me understand catpiss. I just hope that I don´t start picking it out more now...
 
Kirkwooder said:
Horse blanket, dirty socks, wet card board, ear wax, a$$, and best of all, $h!t. I have heard all these used to describe beers. My question is "How, exactly, do you bring your self to a level of familiarity with these things to be able to use them as a control flavor to compare beer to?"
Click to expand...

Figuratively saying "this tastes like sh*t" (= "it tastes very bad") is one thing. Literally saying "I'm picking up distinct notes of poop on the finish" is something totally different. I feel genuinely bad for anyone that A) encounters that flavor in a beer and 2) is well enough acquainted with the flavor to make that association. :drunk:

Wet cardboard smell is a pretty common sign of oxidation. If you've ever had a badly oxidized beer, you'll recognize it.

I have run into a couple beers (thankfully not my own) that smelled like dirty socks as well. I'm assuming some sort of infection...at least I hope so. I can't imagine anyone intentionally striving for that type of thing.
 
Most of these fancy flavor descriptors actually come through aroma not taste. Your tongue isn't what registers most of these so you don't have to be intimately familiar with their taste, just their aroma.

Horse blanket is an amalgum of smells unique to used tack equipment. Those familiar will immediately recognize it if present in beer. I like that characteristic funk personally and have spent time with horses, but have not deliberately tasted a blanket, horse or other. :D

The reference to smarties candy is immediately recognizable to me too. I've noticed that exact flavor (aroma) in a number of West coast IPAs, particularly from Stone.
 
masonsjax said:
Most of these fancy flavor descriptors actually come through aroma not taste. Your tongue isn't what registers most of these so you don't have to be intimately familiar with their taste, just their aroma.

Horse blanket is an amalgum of smells unique to used tack equipment. Those familiar will immediately recognize it if present in beer. I like that characteristic funk personally and have spent time with horses, but have not deliberately tasted a blanket, horse or other. :D
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That's the thing though... I think about 99.8% of these hipsters have never been around a horse. Or their blankets.

It's almost like wet dog for me.
 
masonsjax said:
I like that characteristic funk personally and have spent time with horses, but have not deliberately tasted a blanket, horse or other. :D
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If you haven't tasted a horse, you haven't had an Arab buck up and headbutt you in the mouth before throwing you off.
 
TheCADJockey said:
If you haven't tasted a horse, you haven't had an Arab buck up and headbutt you in the mouth before throwing you off.
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"Listen, I told you that was an accident. Sorry again my friend."


09563c0cf0d89b43a638cdc8d8145b51.jpg
 
So when I read the description, I laffed my a$$ off because I thought he was joking. Now I find out he was serious. I really need to catch up on this hipster, snob, eac language.

Thanks for all the help, guys.

Pretty sure I don't want any horse blanket though...

Although there's nothing wrong with horse blanket in the PC sense. Don't want to offend anyone!!!

:confused::drunk::cool::smack::beard:

:goat:
 
If you want to roll your eyes check out Somme on netflix if its still there. Youll understand what wet rocks and lanolin taste like in great detail.
 
I think you fellas are missing the point, after all this is supposed to be a thread about funny things about beer, and I find it funny that so many people use these terms, all of them unpleasant sounding, to describe flavors in beer.

All you need to do is tell me you taste a hint of horse blanket in a beer and I'll surely steer clear of that beer, weather it was an intended flavor or not.

:goat:
 
Kirkwooder said:
I think you fellas are missing the point, after all this is supposed to be a thread about funny things about beer, and I find it funny that so many people use these terms, all of them unpleasant sounding, to describe flavors in beer.

All you need to do is tell me you taste a hint of horse blanket in a beer and I'll surely steer clear of that beer, weather it was an intended flavor or not.

:goat:
Click to expand...

Sometimes beer does smell or taste unpleasant. Being able to articulate that is more helpful than just saying "it sucks", especially since some unpleasant flavors may be off-putting to some people more than others.

I'm no fan of skunky beer. I avoid clear or green-bottled beer unless I know it's fresh. However, I'm told there are people that go for that sort of thing. It's an odd descriptor for sure, but you have to admit it's accurate.
 
drainbamage said:
Sometimes beer does smell or taste unpleasant. Being able to articulate that is more helpful than just saying "it sucks", especially since some unpleasant flavors may be off-putting to some people more than others.

I'm no fan of skunky beer. I avoid clear or green-bottled beer unless I know it's fresh. However, I'm told there are people that go for that sort of thing. It's an odd descriptor for sure, but you have to admit it's accurate.
Click to expand...
I know one of those guys. I've seen him keep a case of green-glass bottled Heineken on the seat of his truck for two weeks mid-summer, and drink every one of them. Warm.
 
drainbamage said:
Sometimes beer does smell or taste unpleasant. Being able to articulate that is more helpful than just saying "it sucks", especially since some unpleasant flavors may be off-putting to some people more than others.

I'm no fan of skunky beer. I avoid clear or green-bottled beer unless I know it's fresh. However, I'm told there are people that go for that sort of thing. It's an odd descriptor for sure, but you have to admit it's accurate.
Click to expand...

Who in the flocc would do tha... errr. Oh.


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drainbamage said:
How'd the experiment turn out, BTW? Is there a no-go point where it gets unbearable?
Click to expand...

Nope, 2 hrs in the sun = same skunk as 6 hrs = same skunk as ~10 mins.

It's a really quick reaction and seems that it doesn't get stronger with more exposure time once it's there.

Tastes almost exactly like a Corona.
 
Not exactly on topic, but who gives a flocc?

I bought a can of the Angry Orchard Summer cider, just to try it out. I found it to be particularly terrible and way too sweet, so I decided to make a fruit fly trap out of a few ounces. It works very well for that purpose, but the funny thing is after a ~10 days sitting on the kitchen window sill, open, and with 5 or 6 fruit flies floating around, there is still no pellicle, clouding, turbidity, nothing. Looks like it did when I poured it in the jar. It's kind of like when you find a McDonald's fry under the seat of your car that is rock hard, but looks pretty much like a fresh fry.
 
dkwolf said:
I know one of those guys. I've seen him keep a case of green-glass bottled Heineken on the seat of his truck for two weeks mid-summer, and drink every one of them. Warm.
Click to expand...

That man is a monster.

A MONSTER, I TELL YOU!

:(
 
SnakeRidge said:
Not exactly on topic, but who gives a flocc?

I bought a can of the Angry Orchard Summer cider, just to try it out. I found it to be particularly terrible and way too sweet, so I decided to make a fruit fly trap out of a few ounces. It works very well for that purpose, but the funny thing is after a ~10 days sitting on the kitchen window sill, open, and with 5 or 6 fruit flies floating around, there is still no pellicle, clouding, turbidity, nothing. Looks like it did when I poured it in the jar. It's kind of like when you find a McDonald's fry under the seat of your car that is rock hard, but looks pretty much like a fresh fry.
Click to expand...

Or the first generation of McDonald's shakes that did not melt they just got warm...
 

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