you still use hops in your beer?

[Stealthcruiser]

Whole Foods is gonna be all over this

When you say "all over it", do you mean like a fat lady on a B-B all over it?

 

[ProblemChild]

OK - last one - I promise

Here we have a modern feldarbeiter working for one of the primary trubrau plantations in Europe. As you can clearly see, he is experiencing "trubraufergnugen" or the feeling one experiences while harvesting beer berries.
THis particular plantation has been in the Vorlauf family for generations. The current Count Vorlauf is reporter to be currently cultivating 150,000 acres of the truebrew (tm) fruit with plans on expanding his territory in the North America as early as February 2018

 

[kev211]

Now available in kits.... (BYODW)

Not to rain on your parade, but Home Depot and Lowes have been carrying True Beer (TM) Kits for years. They even sell bulk true beer (TM) kits in both 1/2" and 5/8" by the pallet

 

[kev211]

OK - last one - I promise

I dont believe you...


And that is ok

 

[CJ-3]

According to the OP he would have had to imported them before 2015.

 

[lump42]

Not to rain on your parade, but Home Depot and Lowes have been carrying True Beer (TM) Kits for years. They even sell bulk true beer (TM) kits in both 1/2" and 5/8" by the pallet

But do the kits include the cat? It's probably some old tired cat. You need a nice fresh cat to inoculate the True Beer (TM) wort and create the perfect brew in its delicious True-ness Glory :drool:

 

[kev211]

But do the kits include the cat? It's probably some old tired cat. You need a nice fresh cat to inoculate the True Beer (TM) wort and create the perfect brew in its delicious True-ness Glory :drool:

Depends on the hardware store, but sometimes they have strays. Those tend to add the most twang

 

[balrog]

Now I'm confused. I thought we needed hairless cats. Then someone pointed out horsehair plaster was the only Truth. Maybe it depends on °Plato?

 

[auburntsts]

Now I'm confused. I thought we needed hairless cats. Then someone pointed out horsehair plaster was the only Truth. Maybe it depends on °Plato?

I'm of the belief that for it to really be True, you have to use a Bobcat. Domesticated varieties, hairless or not, simply won't do. This is basically because, besides twang, the Bobcat will impart that special wild vigor and emotion into the brew. Of course only the worthy are drunk, umm I mean brave enough to catch and dip said cat.

 

[balrog]

And "Drunks Dipping Bobcats" WBAGNFARB*


*Would be a great name for a rock bank

 

[Murphys_Law]

I am going to make a seasonal True Beer and try my hand at using a featherless turkey for my bittering addition. One advantage I see is that I will also have leftover “spent turkey” which I can use for sandwiches, etc.

I am very conscience of the environment and seek to be a “zero waste” brewer!

[emoji884]

 

[MaxStout]

I like the turkey idea. Why not combine two things--the need to pluck the turkey, and making True Beer(TM)? Dunk the turkey in your strike water to remove the pin feathers, hoist it out, then bring to a boil. Add drywall or plaster as needed. Dry hop with leftover turkey and/or stuffing. Bottle or keg and enjoy.

I wonder if Wilserbrewer makes a bag suitable for holding the turkey.

 

[balrog]

Just wait until the Christmas season and get a Monster Bag Pack from Wilser that will hold both the Christmas Goose and the Yule Log. I think Wilser will even throw in a free cranberry relish dry hop sock.

 

[CJ-3]

Wild Turkey and a hairless cat ......sounds like a fraternity ritual.

 

[MaxStout]

Wild Turkey and a hairless cat ......sounds like a fraternity ritual.

Oh hai, guyz, what's going on in this thread?

 

[Inkleg]

Oh hai, guyz, what's going on in this thread?

HAHAHA!!! I'm sitting with two hairless felines in my lap as I type this. I'm off to Google that turkey cat suit now. If for no other reason than to torture these girls for stomping on my head at 4 in the morning.

 

[kev211]

HAHAHA!!! I'm sitting with two hairless felines in my lap as I type this. I'm off to Google that turkey cat suit now. If for no other reason than to torture these girls for stomping on my head at 4 in the morning.

I almost tagged you when I saw that photo haha

 

[jerbrew]

Well, I read five posts at the end and had to read the whole thing. I think there was a gross oversight of using the truest of true ingredients, Plaster of Paris. How can you have True Beer using processed home depot junk dry wall. And, have none of you heard of the west coast style using Portland Cement? It comes out dryer and cleaner. Really accentuates the absence of hops without needing to use 100% pond water. Here I thought you all had some insight and experience in True Beer just to be proven wrong by mindless dribble about using 5/8" drywall and recipes that only have 120% in the grist. We true believers/brewers know that no beer is True without at least 137% grist. Get it together people.

 

[jtratcliff]

geez... you guys are still using drywall and cats in your true beer?

How last month...

Sewage is where it's at now... Cutting edge ingredients and all...

https://www.homebrewtalk.com/showthread.php?t=638122

 

[kev211]

geez... you guys are still using drywall and cats in your true beer?

How last month...

Sewage is where it's at now... Cutting edge ingredients and all...

https://www.homebrewtalk.com/showthread.php?t=638122

I only use sewage in my barrel aged (oil drum) true beers (tm). All the normal true beers (tm) are concocted with premium 5/8" type X gyp board and hairless cats

 

[MaxStout]

If you really want original ingredients for your True Beer(TM), I think you need to go back further in history. Adobe. Sun-baked clay, mixed with straw. It gives the beer a nice, full body with a unique, grassy aroma. If it was good enough for the Hopi and Pueblo peoples, it's good enough for us.

 

[November]

I only use sewage in my barrel aged (oil drum) true beers (tm). All the normal true beers (tm) are concocted with premium 5/8" type X gyp board and hairless cats

From one of my favorite threads, here are the drums you would want to use.

https://www.homebrewtalk.com/showpost.php?p=3349919&postcount=27

 

[Murphys_Law]

I only use sewage in my barrel aged (oil drum) true beers (tm). All the normal true beers (tm) are concocted with premium 5/8" type X gyp board and hairless cats

I went down to the docks and picked up a few barrels for aging but one of them has what appears to be a corpse stuffed inside.

Would it be ok if I just racked on top of the corpse or should I use some Sani-corpse first?

 

[jodell]

I went down to the docks and picked up a few barrels for aging but one of them has what appears to be a corpse stuffed inside.

Would it be ok if I just racked on top of the corpse or should I use some Sani-corpse first?

You've struck gold...that is about as true as one could get

 

[processhead]

I went down to the docks and picked up a few barrels for aging but one of them has what appears to be a corpse stuffed inside.

Would it be ok if I just racked on top of the corpse or should I use some Sani-corpse first?

Corpse: Its been proven to add body to your beer.

 

[MaxStout]

From one of my favorite threads, here are the drums you would want to use.

https://www.homebrewtalk.com/showpost.php?p=3349919&postcount=27

There's a lot of win in that thread. Brewing beer in a rusty 55 gal. steel drum--whoda thunk?. And no one bothered to ask what was originally in that drum before the poster got his grubby hands on it. Maybe he raids Superfund sites for disposed drums.

Personally, I would prefer drums from the local rendering plant.

 

[Rhaop]

When recirculating True Mash (tm) you have to pump it to the nearest drain to gather the purest of True Yeasts (tm) and recirculate it back through the mash, thanks to the exTruepriments in the sewage kettle thread


This is ground breaking technology

 

[CJ-3]

When recirculating True Mash (tm) you have to pump it to the nearest drain to gather the purest of True Yeasts (tm) and recirculate it back through the mash, thanks to the exTruepriments in the sewage kettle thread


This is ground breaking technology

You heathen! True Beer (TM) predates the existence of electricity. To circulate it properly you must pour it into the skulls of former brewers and run around in circles.

 

[MaxStout]

The original True Beer(TM) came from Elbonia.

 

[fredthecat]

wow thats funny, now may i ask you mr "maxstout", are you employed?

 

[MaxStout]

wow thats funny, now may i ask you mr "maxstout", are you employed?

Yes, I am.

 

[CJ-3]

True Beer (TM) Gods care naught about the employment status of a devotee.

 

[MaxStout]

True Beer (TM) Gods care naught about the employment status of a devotee.

Yes, we are all the True Beer(TM) gods' little children. Drink up and praise thee.

 

[doug293cz]

The original True Beer(TM) came from Elbonia.

I thought Walla Walla was in Washington State. The producer of the most hops in the USA. True Beer™ surely can't have originated there.

Brew on

 

[November]

wow thats funny, now may i ask you mr "maxstout", are you employed?

 

[jodell]

wow thats funny, now may i ask you mr "maxstout", are you employed?

Yes, I am.

You obviously do not devote enough time to true beer (TM) then

 

[lump42]

wow thats funny, now may i ask you mr "maxstout", are you employed?

That must have been a job offer to be True Beer (TM)’s official historian. You should take him on his offer. Not everyone can work for such greatness as @fredthecat

 

[MaxStout]

That must have been a job offer to be True Beer (TM)’s official historian. You should take him on his offer. Not everyone can work for such greatness as @fredthecat

I gave it some serious thought, and I would be most honored. But I probably wouldn't enjoy life in Pyongyang, so I turned it down.

It's still open and it pays well, if anyone is interested...

 

[triethylborane]

But I probably wouldn't enjoy life in Pyongyang, so I turned it down.

a

You are now banned from

Home Brew Forums > Brewing Events & Local Gatherings > Pyongyang

 

[lschiavo]

a

Ouch.