when do you tell her?

[html034]

I was just wondering if anyone who has had experience starting a new relationship after starting brewing could tell me at what point in the relationship do you tell the (woman for the purposes of this thread) about your brewing hobby (obsession) without it coming off the wrong way. I am not asking because I need that advice right now, but it was something that just occurred to me, and I thought I would ask what you guys think.

 

[EdWort]

After you offer her a brew of your own and she like it.

 

[Sigafoos]

I'd say you should be less worried about it as though it's something to hide. I'm sure you have other hobbies, and those will all come out in due time. One day she'll ask what you did over the weekend, or you can scoff at some BMC, etc.

Though Ed's way does sound like the best plan (if only my SWMBO liked beer...)

 

[Bytor1100]

If she has a problem with it, she's probably not the one for you. If she thinks it's cool and wants to learn, there may be something there.

 

[SRFeldman79]

my SWMBO facilitated my obsession and maybe now regrets it.
If she's a beer drinker, just offer her a beer one day at your apartment or take some to hers with some commercial brew or something and see if she likes it.
if she doesn't drink beer, what are you doing to yourself is the real question?

 

[brewt00l]

It's not like you are telling her that you want to wear her panties and run around the house with a broom up your bum and a rose between your teeth.

I don't really see any stigma attached to saying you brew beer, all things considered.

 

[the_bird]

Show that you're not a drunk and that you're respectful of beer. Making really good beer is kinda like being a good cook.

 

[MikeFlynn74]

I think she wont notice after you tell her about your raging coke habit

 

[BleedsDogFish]

I was just wondering if anyone who has had experience starting a new relationship after starting brewing could tell me at what point in the relationship do you tell the (woman for the purposes of this thread) about your brewing hobby (obsession) without it coming off the wrong way. I am not asking because I need that advice right now, but it was something that just occurred to me, and I thought I would ask what you guys think.

I agree with everyone else, if you drink an 18 pack a day, than maybe that would be a problem. Are you actually worried she will have a problem with it?

 

[BuffaloSabresBrewer]

You use it pick up chicks-duh-you make beer theres your pick up line right there.
Flipin noobs

 

[html034]

I think she wont notice after you tell her about your raging coke habit

That's a good point


I don't know, apparently you guys think that i'm thinking about it the wrong way, but i guess my line of thinking was that the average woman, who doesn't even know that homebrewing is something people do, might find it odd if you tell her that you spend considerable amounts of time and money manufacturing alcoholic beverages in your home.

But i guess it really isn't different than any other hobby, but considering some of the animosity of wives/girlfriends toward homebrewing that has been related in this forum, i thought maybe it would be something that you would want to hold back for a little while when dealing with a woman who is not already bound by an existing relationship to put up with your time and money consuming interests that she neither shares nor understands.

 

[Sigafoos]

I also do a weekly video games podcast, think lolcats are hilarious, etc. If I wasn't already married, homebrewing would be the least worrisome of my closet skeletons

I know you weren't thinking 'ohmygosh must hide it,' but trying to find the 'right time to tell her' I think overemphasizes its importance. It's a part of you, just like your taste in music.

 

[Bob Loblaw]

make it an adventure to find beer she likes! also get SWMBO into the actual brewing. My wife loves the smell of malt and hops, its like aroma therapy for her... try to just include her in your obsession, she really just doesn't want to be left out.

 

[the_bird]

You've got to treat it casually, though, it can't be "I have something I need to tell you!" You're having a drink at dinner somewhere, just mention "Did I tell you I make my own beer? Just a fun little hobby, most of the stuff that you can buy is crap." She probably won't think twice about it.

 

[cheezydemon]

I approach it as something cool with people.(I no longer date since it is a bad idea if you are married)

Most people will think it is interesting, even if they don't drink or like beer.

 

[Beerthoven]

Tell her during sex. Just make sure she's having a really good time first.

 

[Laurel]

I wouldn't say anything until she asks you and it's an obvious answer, or she sees your equipment and asks about it, or asks you what type of beer you like(if that conversation comes up with many women). I don't think it's a weird hobby at all, and I think most of the animosity from wives/gfs comes from men ignoring them to work on their beer, or constantly talking about it. Most people think it's pretty rad, even women, so there's no reason to worry about it until it comes between you two.

 

[MikeFlynn74]

you- baby I have to confess to you
her- you're seeing somebody?
You- no, much worse
her- Herpes?
You- well uh no
Her- Bad credit?
You- Damnit Im a home brewer!
her- *gasp!* falls over

 

[DeadYetiBrew]

you- baby I have to confess to you
her- you're seeing somebody?
You- no, much worse
her- Herpes?
You- well uh no
Her- Bad credit?
You- Damnit Im a home brewer!
her- *gasp!* falls over

lol.... this ones easy (i'm single so take it for what it's worth.) Cook her a meal one night and while you're cooking ask her if she would like something to drink with it... pour her one of your beers and wait for her reaction. have some wine on the ready in case she doesn't like it....

 

[BuffaloSabresBrewer]

Tell her during sex. Just make sure she's having a really good time first.

lol nice.........

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

How far into this relationship are you?

If there is any mutual intent to continue the relationship thhen I'd assume at some point a discussion about hobbies, activities, aspirations, bed side antics, will ensue.

Does she like beer?

 

[TheJadedDog]

Not sure why this would be a big concern, brewing beer is just like any other hobby. Unless she has some concern about alcohol I figure this would come up in the normal getting to know you phase of the relationship.

 

[FlyingHorse]

I wouldn't say anything until...she sees your equipment and asks about it

"Damn, that's tiny!"

"But I make my own beer!"

 

[bethlehembrewer]

Just let it come up whenever it should. I think people who are not homebrewers are somewhat in awe of the hobby. I was in the LHBS the other day, this guy was buying cow feed (LHBS is in the Agway). He saw the beer stuff and started asking about it. The owner told him what it all was and he was like: "holy cow, you mean I can acutally make beer at my place, thats so cool." I think most people have this view.

 

[ChrisKennedy]

Honestly, if I were to have to go back to dating, and with me attempting to go the professional route, the love of beer would probably have to be a requirement for me to get in a significant relationship with a woman. I guess I am lucky that my sig. other loves beer.

 

[html034]

How far into this relationship are you?

If there is any mutual intent to continue the relationship thhen I'd assume at some point a discussion about hobbies, activities, aspirations, bed side antics, will ensue.

Does she like beer?

When i said i wasn't in need of this advice right now, I wasn't being coy, I am not in any relationship right now. I really am just interested to see what people on here think about this.

And apparently they are thinking for the most part that i am crazy to think that this is something i should even think twice about. I guess I was just over-thinking the whole thing to think that women might be put off by this hobby.

 

[brewt00l]

Right after you show her your amateur taxidermy collection.....

 

[Yuri_Rage]

Most of the people I know think it's cool. They're always excited to try some of my beer. Their gender and/or relationship with me have little bearing on that fairly universal reaction.

 

[Yooper]

I guess I was just over-thinking the whole thing to think that women might be put off by this hobby.

I'd like to think that most women would not be so small minded as to think someone is an alcoholic just because they make beer. It would be like any other hobby. I think that my hockey habit/obsession is probably weirder than the beer brewing.

 

[Beerthoven]

Its kinda hard for me to relate to this question, actually, hence my flippant response in an earlier post.

Beer has always been something my wife and I enjoy together. Hell, the first time she and I hooked up was after an Octoberfest street party (she took advantage of me while I was in an impaired state ). When I said I wanted to start brewing beer at home, she was the one who searched out the starter kits and ordered everything. She frequently makes suggestions or requests for beer to brew and always is open to trying new beers.

So, I say don't hide it. Be Proud of your Beer! If you are lucky, you'll find a woman who enjoys beer as much as you do.

 

[ClutchDude]

For the most part, it's not a big deal.

I was lucky though, since my SWMBO is a nerd in her own respect and she can dig how much science goes into brewing. She tunes me out when I start talking about equipment, though.

And just remember, she prolly has some hobby or trait she's wondering "when" to tell you about it. All in good time.

And definitely don't let her know that all of this glass and equipment is actually a front for your meth lab.

 

[html034]

And definitely don't let her know that all of this glass and equipment is actually a front for your meth lab.

now as far as that goes, my inclination was similar to some of the earlier responses; let her taste the results first

 

[DUCCCC]

My first question would be how she feels about alcohol in general. If she's a devout LDS, or Baptist, you're probably not going to get too positive a reaction to telling her you make alcohol.

First reaction I get from more than a few folks down her in NC, when I tell them I make beer, is something to the effect that they new a guy who had a still once too! I don't think many teetotalers are going to view homebrewing any differently than making hooch.

Now if she's enjoys the occasional adult beverage, but doesn't care for beer there's always Apfelwein. If she can appreciate a good beer then have her over for a brewing session. Once she sees the care and work that goes in to making a good beer at home I imagine she'd be more than understanding.

 

[The Soft Underbelly]

It's not like you are telling her that you want to wear her panties and run around the house with a broom up your bum and a rose between your teeth.

"Honey, I'd like to wear your panties and brew beer with a broom up my bum and a rose between my teeth

 

[hefeweizen]

So does she drink beer? Does she appreciate a good beer or is she a BMC drinker?

When I first met my SWMBO, she was drinking better beer than me. I credit her with turning me on to good beer. Here we are years later and she bought me a home brew kit for my birthday.

Her "I'm not pregnant anymore and can drink beer" Oatmeal Stout will be ready to drink this weekend. Now if the kid would just come out already!

-Ron

 

[Donasay]

I think she wont notice after you tell her about your raging coke habit

Run around your house like a mad man then take some pre package priming sugar and throw it at her real hard then scream "I like cocaine!" After that explain that it is priming sugar, and you brew beer, she will be much less worried.

 

[html034]

Run around your house like a mad man then take some pre package priming sugar and throw it at her real hard then scream "I like cocaine!" After that explain that it is priming sugar, and you brew beer, she will be much less worried.

I guess I am the only one who ever had this thought.:cross:

 

[BierMuncher]

Brew her a batch of SWMBO Slayer Belgian Blonde. She'll be an immediate fan. Druck as a skuck...but a fan nonetheless.

 

[paranode]

If she has a problem with it, she's probably not the one for you. If she thinks it's cool and wants to learn, there may be something there.

Yeah I would be casual about it like any other thing you do in your spare time. If she has a problem with it, it's probably not going to just go away. She'll just try to "change you" which rarely works out so well.

 

[moger777]

Usually the first thing I tell people when I meet them is that I'm a brewer. I'm very proud of it and wanna let as much people know as possible. People are always asking me when my next beer will be ready.