Tomorrow's the big day!

[Shimms]

Gosh guys... most of the wives don't seem to get it.

Sorry

That being said... I wouldn't mind some "who knows" but my man's working tonight.

 

[RichBrewer]

Gosh guys... most of the wives don't seem to get it.

Sorry

That being said... I wouldn't mind some "who knows" but my man's working tonight.

Huh???

 

[ill.literate]

Huh???

That means she wants me.

 

[Cheesefood]

Mine's not feeling well, so I'm here, drinking mapfelwein solo.

 

[ayrton]

I walked two miles in pretty deep snow (that hadn't been shoveled by anyone) to get my SWMBO a dozen roses. I also picked up a shovel while I was downtown. She appreciated the effort.

 

[Yooper]

Mine got 8 too...


oh, you're talking snow...

The joke around here is that whenever it looks like snow, I said that I'm hoping to get "from 4 to 8 inches tonight". He knows what that means.......

 

[Orpheus]

The joke around here is that whenever it looks like snow, I said that I'm hoping to get "from 4 to 8 inches tonight". He knows what that means.......

Wow,

That's quite a variation. He must use one of those pumps to get some inconsistency in his size?

 

[the_bird]

Wow,

That's quite a variation. He must use one of those pumps to get some inconsistency in his size?

Maybe it depends on how cold it is?

 

[Orpheus]

Maybe it depends on how cold it is?

That could make the difference between a windmill and a windsock!

 

[Yooper]

Wow,

That's quite a variation. He must use one of those pumps to get some inconsistency in his size?

No, no, no- you guys don't get it.

You have to hear the tone of my voice when I say it- FROM 4 TO 8 inches tonight. See, the FROM denotes the "before" and the TO denotes the "during". You know, the blood flow thing.......

"I'm hoping to get from 4 to 8 inches tonight," complete with winking and eyebrows wagging gets the point across.

Geez, I'm a sick-o, huh?

 

[SOB]

Atleast it's not "from 2 to 2.5 inches" like my SWMBO gets...

And that's on a warm day!

 

[the_bird]

No, no, no- you guys don't get it.

You have to hear the tone of my voice when I say it- FROM 4 TO 8 inches tonight. See, the FROM denotes the "before" and the TO denotes the "during". You know, the blood flow thing.......

"I'm hoping to get from 4 to 8 inches tonight," complete with winking and eyebrows wagging gets the point across.

Geez, I'm a sick-o, huh?

I thought maybe it was "give me four inches... now give me eight... now four... now eight!"

 

[Orpheus]

I thought maybe it was "give me four inches... now give me eight... now four... now eight!"

Nah.. that would mean a threesome with a guy with 8 inches?

 

[Cheesefood]

Nah.. that would mean a threesome with a guy with 8 inches?

You stick your tongue out for a guy with 8" ???

 

[the_bird]

You stick your tongue out for a guy with 8" ???

Well, it seems to make your banana dance....

 

[Cheesefood]

Well, it seems to make your banana dance....

Trying to get Oripheus turned on.

 

[Orpheus]

Well, it seems to make your banana dance....

Does yours mean you wouldn't know what to do with 8 inches?

 

[the_bird]

Does yours mean you wouldn't know what to do with 8 inches?

I know exactly what to do with eight inches - put it back in my pants.

 

[Cheesefood]

I know exactly what to do with eight inches - put it back in my pants.

I've got 40 inces in my pants. I call it my "Waist".

 

[Orpheus]

I know exactly what to do with eight inches - put it back in my pants.

Put it in the back of your pants? Dang.. I thought Cheese was bad!

 

[Yooper]

I thought maybe it was "give me four inches... now give me eight... now four... now eight!"

Only a man would think that a woman would actually ask for a measly four incher........

It's always MEN who say, "Size doesn't matter, It's not the wand it's the magic in it, ect, etc". We women know that size DOES matter. We're just too polite to say, "Who are you going to please with that little thing?" and point and laugh.

 

[Pumbaa]

Size dont matter . . .
no matter how small it is I still get mine

 

[Cheesefood]

Only a man would think that a woman would actually ask for a measly four incher........

It's always MEN who say, "Size doesn't matter, It's not the wand it's the magic in it, ect, etc". We women know that size DOES matter. We're just too polite to say, "Who are you going to please with that little thing?" and point and laugh.

Works both way, sweety. We like 'em small. Poonanies are like balloons. Blow one up, let the air out and check the size. That's what giving birth or being a **** does. Why do you think we enjoy back-door action so much? No kids sliding out of there.

My phrase is: It's not the size of the prize, it's all about me shooting.

How do you get a woman off?
"B!tch, Get off!"

 

[Chairman Cheyco]

Only a man would think that a woman would actually ask for a measly four incher........

It's always MEN who say, "Size doesn't matter, It's not the wand it's the magic in it, ect, etc". We women know that size DOES matter. We're just too polite to say, "Who are you going to please with that little thing?" and point and laugh.

Mine works every time, no matter it stature.


Q:How do you make a woman have an orgasm?

A:Women have orgasms?

 

[Yooper]

How do you get a woman off?
"B!tch, Get off!"

That's funny! I like that one alot.....

 

[sudsmonkey]

Size dont matter . . .
no matter how small it is I still get mine

I explained it to Monkey Jr. like this: If you have a flower bed that is ten feet away from the spigot, you need a ten foot hose. A 100 foot hose is nice, but if you can't use it all, it's wasted. Impressive, but wasted. Now a four foot hose, on the other hand, will still get water to the flowers, it just won't do as good a job. I'd rather reach the bed with a little to spare than to never use the whole hose.
He seemed to understand the point I was making.

 

[Hippiefreak]

Well, after hearing me rant (sarcastically) about the commercialization of this Hallmark Holiday, SWMBO decreed that we wouldn't do anything to celebrate this holiday.....of course, being a divorced man - I've learned from my mistakes and I knew better Plus, being the Boy Scout-type - I buy my gifts and cards well in advance - whenever I see something I know she'll like (it never hurts to have them as backups for those times when you're in trouble, either )

Our gifts are usually pretty non-traditional. My sweetie being the atypical woman - she likes getting new fishing gear, stuff for our kayaks, and anything to stock the 75 gallon salt water tank she has (last year, I got her some Mexican Grazer snails - she thought it was the coolest thing!!) She usually gets me some brewing accessory (got a nice bench capper this year), and sometimes some seeds or some type of flowers that she wants me to plant in the yard (this year I also got a beautiful miniature rose bush).

Well this year, she had to work late shift last night - so we went out to a new Mongolian Grill restaurant for lunch, and then she had to go to work.....when she got home, I let her know what my intentions were....I sent the kids off for the night, and when she came home there was a pound of Kona coffee beans (the only thing that gets consumed more than beer in this house is coffee), a fifth of Jameson's, a bottle of Irish Creme, and a 12 pack of my latest stout. Time to pull out the sofa bed, watch some movies and do some Irish Car Bombs!!!!

Turned out to be a pretty good night

Chris
http://db.etree.org/chorner

 

[RichBrewer]

Works both way, sweety. We like 'em small. Poonanies are like balloons. Blow one up, let the air out and check the size. That's what giving birth or being a **** does. Why do you think we enjoy back-door action so much? No kids sliding out of there.

My phrase is: It's not the size of the prize, it's all about me shooting.

How do you get a woman off?
"B!tch, Get off!"

How did a conversation about what everyones doing for Valentines day degenerate into this?

 

[Biermann]

Only a man would think that a woman would actually ask for a measly four incher........

What's wrong with four inches. . . I wouldn't know, personally. . . .