Things brewers say that sound so wrong to non-brewers...............

[Zimm9]

Me to a coworker: "Next time you come by my house could you help me with a tight post?"

 

[TANSTAAFB]

It's really starting to annoy me that my Hook 'em/ Rock'n emoji doesn't work here...

 

[Murphys_Law]

Want to go down in my basement and sniff my bung? I added some bugs so it may be infected.

 

[day_trippr]

"I have to wash my spider"

 

[bleme]

"im pretty sure i am going to add some clitora at the cold crash but im happy"

 

[jcav]

I had too many yeasty beasties on my racking tube, which clogged the exit hole.....

 

[balrog]

"I snipped my dip tube to keep it out of the dregs"

 

[seatazzz]

You should have seen the blowoff I had the other day...almost hit the ceiling.

I'm a GIRL and I thought of that...this thread literally has me crying I'm laughing so hard.

 

[seatazzz]

Another one. My husband bought me a false bottom because my sparge keeps getting stuck. True story.

 

[seatazzz]

Weak but here goes...I had to pull the PRV a dozen times before I could get good head.

 

[JohnSand]

Thanks Seatazzz, those posts made me laugh out loud. It was a nice change, because my overly worried mother-in-law just left after a visit.

 

[applescrap]

Came up on different thread.....

Wrap your cane

 

[jcav]

Hey Seatazzz, you made me laugh too!

John

 

[seatazzz]

Thanks folks, I'm here all week. Try the veal and tip your server....and try the braggot we've got on tap (another word that sounds dirty but isn't).

 

[MaddBaggins]

Pediococcus

 

[Boomer]

I’ve got a yeast infection and some weird stuff is coming out of my bung hole.

 

[Zuljin]

I cracked it trying to force it into my bung hole.

I keep getting too much head.

 

[Boomer]

The first time it painted my ceiling, my wife made me start blowing it off into a jug of sanitized water.

 

[bleme]

"Can you help me out with the math in my efforts to confirm my 4” pipe is large enough."

 

[AZCoolerBrewer]

I can get in two ball locks, but its a tight fit, especially if I have gas.

 

[SEndorf]

Pediococcus

This is the winner...
It just sounds so .......immoral and illegal........

 

[AZCoolerBrewer]

I made a mash paddle to break balls, but I’m worried that my wood might taste bad.

 

[RPh_Guy]

Me to my wife:

"Do you want to smell my bacteria?"

 

[divrack]

Spunded keg
Racking off
Degassing
Infected wort
Massive blowoff
Vigorous shaking
flanders brown
Has that young taste
Kreusen ring
Massive growler
Etc etc

Filthy hobby

 

[divrack]

Spunded keg
Racking off
Degassing
Infected wort
Massive blowoff
Vigorous shaking
flanders brown
Has that young taste
Kreusen ring
Massive growler
Etc etc

Filthy hobby

Forgot bazooka tube...
And fly sparge

 

[fizzix]

I went all warrior on it and SMaSHed the thing.

 

[jack13]

Dry hopping

 

[Cheesy_Goodness]

"I've got a Belgian Blonde in the shower that needs racked when I get home"

(Trying to make my latest ceiling mess seem not so bad) "That's not the first time I got it on the ceiling, it cleaned up fine last time"

 

[SmokeyRydr]

Real quote from this month's homebrew club:
"It started out smelling of fresh vomit and barnyard. It's coming along nicely!"