The pigcowturduckenguica!

[dataz722]

Just tell her, "NO NO... it's not like THAT at all... they're all straight... and will have strippers and hookers there and everything!!! See?? So it's ok."

Tell her "Well, you are getting so old I figured you would just as soon forget about having another birthday. I thought not making a big deal about it was doing you a favor."

She should appreciate that.

PTN

These two together can do nothing short of guaranteeing me success.

 

[the_bird]

Bring her up to Boston for her b-day. Spend her b-day doing something awesomely romantic in the city. Leave her with your sister for the next day after and come get drunk with us.

 

[Cape Brewing]

So fah we got four guys brewing, four or five club guys hangin out and then... Paul.

 

[paulthenurse]

Actually I won't be there, I'm working this weekend. I might swing by on my way to work. Anyone who needs to go to the ER can ride in the back of the truck.

PTN

 

[Cape Brewing]

Whoooo Hoooo!!!!! Now its a party!!!!

 

[paulthenurse]

Good news and bad news. I'll let you determine which is which.

I was leaving the house yesterday carrying a bunch of stuff. The post office had dropped a package on the front step. Instead of putting down what I was carrying I figured I would put it in the truck and then come back and pick up the package. I stepped over the package and my foot came down on the edge of the cocoa mat. Next thing I know I'm in the snow. I heard the bone snap as I was flying through the air. I kept expecting pain but it didn't come so I figured I got lucky and just stretched a tendon or something. Well as the day went by it got progressively more and more sore. By the time I went into work last night it was pretty painful but I just put on a pair of heavy boots, laced them up tight and sucked it up. Finally around 4:30 it had quieted down to the point that I could go down to the ED and get an x-ray. Busted 5th proximal metatarsal head. How much does this suck? I see Ortho on Monday.

But I'm now off on Sunday!!!!!! Party on Wayne!!!!!!


PTN

 

[Golddiggie]

I heard the bone snap as I was flying through the air.

I just have to ask... How messed up do you have to be to break a bone on... air?

 

[Cape Brewing]

Ya gotta remember. Bones get pretty brittle at Paul's age.

Turkey going in another coolah to be brined in about half an hour.

Piggy still in brine from weds. It smells insane.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Turkey has achieved brinage. Four gallons of water, four cups of salt and about half a lb of dahk brown sugah.

Gotta run out in the morning and grab ducks and the beef.

I think I'm gonna smoke the turkey just for half an hour or so with heavy smoke to see if I can get a hint towards the middle of the pig.

Also have the andouille I made last week defrostng and i'll make a quick seafoodless jambalaya tomorrow to act as stuffing.. Or... "meat glue"

 

[Cape Brewing]

Pig's in the ground

 

[paulthenurse]

Outf'ingstanding!

Bravo, sir!

Still, would have been better with the caribou. Now you know for next time.

PTN

 

[strat_thru_marshall]

We're gonna need some photos of the final product

 

[Cape Brewing]

Wow. That came out so much better than I thought it was going to. I thought some of the meat wouldn't blend well or wouldnt be cooked right. Sweet lord no... It was nuts. Still in pig coma.

Youtube vid to be posted in a few days.

 

[paulthenurse]

As you can imagine, it KILLS me to heap praise on my boy like I'm going to do here but I have to hand it to the lad, he hit it out of the park. The entire thing was great.

Here comes Cleopatra being carried by a bunch of hungry guys. That's FrankW in front, and Homebeerbrewer (Rick) in blue in the back. Not helping. Just standing and watching. Like usual. Big surprise there.

The whole enchilada on the porch ready to be brought inside. They had just stopped so we could drool for a bit.

So we bring it inside an set it on the table. Someone says, "We should let it sit for a few minutes to let it settle and juices to go back into the meat." Everyone agreed that that was a good idea so we counted to 10 and then tucked in. 10 guys standing around a table with forks in their hands, sometimes not even bothering to use the forks, just tearing into the pork. We've pretty much worked our way down thru the loins here and have struck ribs.

I've never seen an open chest surgery performed on a pig before. Here the surgeon has removed a few ribs and is reaching inside to pull out a duck or something.

And now the feeding frenzy REALLY starts. It was like a school of sharks with blood in the water. Kind of like when your kid finally gets a solid shot at the pinyta, all the candy comes falling out and the kids scramble for the stuff that's falling to the ground. Fortunately the meat was so tender that no-one was using a knife because there was a real possibility that someone could have had a hand cut off in the flurry of action. Remember in Dances with Wolves when the Indians finally scored a couple of buffalo and just went into a Bacchanal orgy of eating and celebrating? Ya, that's what yesterday was like.

Solid work, Cape. I guess I have to be nice to you for the rest of the week.

PTN

 

[Cape Brewing]

(taking a short bow). Ahthankyou.

On a half serious note... An like i was saying above... I was kinda shocked at how good it was (apologies for patting myself on the back). All of the meat was fantastic and everything worked really well together.

I really thought the whole thing was going to be an abomination of meat obnoxiousnous.... But eff that... It was insane.

I am absolutely scaling this up for the big pig roast this summer.

 

[the_bird]

... now I'm REALLY pissed I had to work all day yesterday...

 

[SpanishCastleAle]

How long did it take (not including the count-to-ten 'rest' at the end)?

 

[Cape Brewing]

It was in the ground a good 13 hours. I really didnt expect it to take that long but I think the -3 degree weather overnight had a lot to do with it. I was pysched thoigh because, even with that long of a cookig time, nothing dried out at all. It was crazy moist and tender.

 

[Cape Brewing]

The final construction ended up being:
- homemade andouille sausage
- wrapped in linguica
- wrapped in chicken
- wrapped in duck
- wrapped in turkey
- wrapped in beef short ribs (a great call)
- wrapped in a pig

I brined the pig for three days, the turkey for about 15 hours amd the chickens and ducks for about 6 hours. I tossed the turkey (a 15 pounder) on my smoker for about 40 minutes with really heavy smoke just to get some flavor into it.

I took all of the meat off the birds before warapping everything and used mt favorite dry rub on the ribs.

So... In the end, it was a pigcowterduckenlingdouille.... Which... I think rolls off the tongue nicely.

 

[bob1852]

I think it was asked before, but I don't recall seeing the answer: where/how do you brine a pig for three days?

I think the word epic can no longer be used; as there is nothing to top this effort....

 

[Cape Brewing]

I have a cooler that fit it. Its a big cooler. I added ice and then put the thing out in my garage which never got warmer than about 35 so it stayed chilled no problem. Plus... With the amount of salt in the brine i was not worried about it "going bad" by any stretch.

The real question (and we started discussing it last night) is how I'm gonna brine the big 240 pounder over the summer. I have ideas.

 

[bob1852]

The real question (and we started discussing it last night) is how I'm gonna brine the big 240 pounder over the summer. I have ideas.

Kiddie Pool and lots of ice?

 

[SpanishCastleAle]

PTN's Utopia mash tun?

Notice I didn't include 'lauter' in there anywhere?

 

[Cape Brewing]

PTN's Utopia mash tun?

Eff that... I dont wanna stuck brine.

I have a bunch of left over inch an a half extruded foam board insulation. I am just gonna build a basic frame out of 2x4s, line all sides with the insulating board, line the inside with 6mm plastic an then fill it with brine and a big pig. I'll to keep feeding it ice but no biggie.

I am thinking it'll take a solid five days to properly brine

 

[the_bird]

Buy the wife a hot tub... just, you know, soak a pig in it for five days first.

 

[paulthenurse]

Bird, you need to make this a sticky. It attained that level of awesomeness, it deserves enshrinement. I'm honestly jealous of my boy, this sort of monumental excess is normally something that I do and it kills me that he beat me to it.

PTN

 

[Cape Brewing]

I'm so bummed out... I finished the video documentation of this whole thing last night and then uploaded it to YouTube but YouTube was doing some sort of server maintenance. I checked this morning and the video isn't there.

DAMN IT!! I'll have to load it back up tonight.

 

[the_bird]

Bird, you need to make this a sticky. It attained that level of awesomeness, it deserves enshrinement. I'm honestly jealous of my boy, this sort of monumental excess is normally something that I do and it kills me that he beat me to it.

PTN

I ain't a mod anymore. The only "stickies" I can make these days are in Boneyard threads.

 

[paulthenurse]

Thanks anyways, that's not what I meant.

BTW, TMI.

PTN

 

[Cape Brewing]

Finally... the video has been published by Youtube