The "Dear" , "Sincerely" thread

[Kent88]

Being able to drive on your favorite lake without being Jesus has its perks.

I still get a bit nervous driving out on the frozen lakes if it isn't completely obvious that it's safe to do so.

Maybe some day I'll get a gator to take on the ice like my father in law does.

 

[Kent88]

View attachment 867689

Doubly so when they got the ice race tracks set up.

You mean people with low premiums and people with high premiums?

 

[Snuffy]

You mean people with low premiums and people with high premiums?

I was just thinking that driving on ice has to be a practice frowned on by the insurance industry.

 

[Brew_Dude41]

I was just thinking that driving on ice has to be a practice frowned on by the insurance industry.

There are many practices that are frowned upon by the insurance companies that I practice regularly--hence why I will never participate with their "safe driver apps". They jacked my rates up, not for speeding, but working an off shift schedule. Apparently it is far more dangerous to drive on the nearly empty roads in the dark than the highly congested roads in the light...

 

[Snuffy]

There are many practices that are frowned upon by the insurance companies that I practice regularly--hence why I will never participate with their "safe driver apps". They jacked my rates up, not for speeding, but working an off shift schedule. Apparently it is far more dangerous to drive on the nearly empty roads in the dark than the highly congested roads in the light...

Private jets don't fuel themselves.

 

[Agent]

Dear Zima curious/nostalgic,

I saw this recently. Thought I'd share:



Sincerely,

Dear Zima Curious,
As I racked the "ZIMA Gold", I gave SWMBO a sample. Aside from the Mr. Yuck face, her description of "It's like a one-note white wine without any body" was actually really astute.

Nailed it?

For anyone at Fond Du Lac this weekend, if a Turtle is serving Zima, we might have some bonus beers behind the table.

Sincerely,
Turtle serving Zima this weekend

 

[Kent88]

Dear Beaver Enthusiasts,

 

[Brew_Dude41]

Dear @Kent88 ,
I love all beavers.
Sincerely,
Not picky.

 

[Mr. Vern]

Dear "$75 fresh dumped barrels" 30 minutes away,

Not today, Satan, not today. My liver is not taking the Spike challenge.

Sincerely, HOMEbrewer eyeballing his half barrel rig.

 

[Brew_Dude41]

Dear "$75 fresh dumped barrels" 30 minutes away,

Not today, Satan, not today. My liver is not taking the Spike challenge.

Sincerely, HOMEbrewer eyeballing his half barrel rig.

Great fermentations?
(Can't remember which email I trashed with this 10 gal barrels listed)
Sincerely,
Right there with you!

 

[seatazzz]

Dear New Automated Catbox,

WHERE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE???

Sincerely, my house doesn't stink anymore yay!!

 

[Kent88]

Dear New Automated Catbox,

WHERE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE???

Sincerely, my house doesn't stink anymore yay!!

But is it still covered in cat hair?

Sincerely,
Anti-indoor pets

 

[balrog]

But is it still covered in cat hair?

Sincerely,
Anti-indoor pets

Dear All,
Roomba.
Sincerely,
Mr. Anti-Vaccer.
PS I also hate ironing, but that's a whole 'nuther story

 

[Kent88]

 

[seatazzz]

Dear Mr Anti-vaccer,

1. I just spent almost $250 on a catbox, cannot afford a roaming vacuum/cat taxi (at least according to youtube) that would shortly be completely jammed up with my younger dog's hair (seriously it's everywhere). Also said young dog would either try to mate with it or kill it. He's pretty but not very smart.
2. I misread 'vaccer' for 'vaxxer' and thought I was going down a long road I don't want to travel. I realize now you meant VACUUMING.
3. That's what dryers are for.

Sincerely, possibly the laziest housewife in the world

 

[seatazzz]

Dear Confused Keanu,

I think he meant anti-vacuuming.

Sincerely, I had to read it five times before I figured it out.

 

[mac_1103]

Dear I had to read it five times before I figured it out,

Keanu is still confused about how the roomba is going to get the cat hair off of the automated litter box.

Sincerely,
Completely neutral on vacuuming but pretty vehemently anti-cat.

 

[Kent88]

Dear Confused Keanu,

I think he meant anti-vacuuming.

Sincerely, I had to read it five times before I figured it out.

Thank you

 

[balrog]

sorry

i thought i was being funny

it sounded funny in my head

my cat loving offspring swear by the Roomba, it is wonderful
it is not 100% the answer but it sure helps

sincerely
Going Back to His Coffee Now

 

[seatazzz]

Dear Going Back to Coffee,

You ARE funny. And many things sound funny in my head. Unfortunately my lack of filters usually lets them out before I can edit them.

Sincerely, going back to this extremely tasty NEIPA now

 

[seatazzz]

Dear Future Me,

Yes, there is a big competition coming up. Yes, you have three beers entered, one meh, one okay, and one just about the best NEIPA I've ever brewed in my humble non-BJCP trained opinion. You will not, I repeat NOT, get all butthurt when said NEIPA does not win a medal because everyone and their brother enters that class. Just read the scoresheet, learn from it, and move on.

Sincerely, I rarely listen to my own advice.

 

[balrog]

Dear "I rarely listen to my own advice."
I swear that sounds like English but I have no idea what those words mean.
Sincerely
My inner voice gave up years ago

 

[Brew_Dude41]

Dear 5lb maul,
It has been a long time since we have spent time together. The hour we spent splitting up some of the pile of maple to fire wood was fun this afternoon.
It was also nice that you brought a couple of other friends I have been missing for a while: Advil and 'Going to bed early'.
Sincerely,
Gonna feel this tomorrow.

 

[Kent88]

Dear past me that agreed to be stranded on the ice for eight hours a day for two days as a vacation,

Well you really did it this time. I guess I packed all my long underwear and it's not like I've never spent hours ice fishing, but something about going out like this isn't sitting well with me.

We have a shack with a heater, it's going to be ok. I hope. Hopefully the ice is still comfortably thick, the fishing will be entertaining enough to distract me from how long I'm going to be out there, and the kids don't drive me crazy.

Sincerely,
Too tired to write a coherent message

 

[balrog]

Dear 5lb maul,
It has been a long time since we have spent time together. The hour we spent splitting up some of the pile of maple to fire wood was fun this afternoon.
It was also nice that you brought a couple of other friends I have been missing for a while: Advil and 'Going to bed early'.
Sincerely,
Gonna feel this tomorrow.

Dear Toes and Shin,
Yes, splitting wood is fun.
No, dropping iron splitting wedges on you was not fun.
Sincerely,
Where are my Elf BandAids?

 

[seatazzz]

Dear Too Tired,

I don't live in an area where ice fishing is a thing, but the only justifiable reason I can find for ice fishing is that the fish are already frozen before you take them home.

Sincerely, that's the beer talking

 

[seatazzz]

Dear Peppermint Candy That I just Made,

Thank you for not turning into a crystallized hunk of hard-to-clean-up-mess because I finally figured out what the issue is.

Sincerely, I have too many damned hobbies

 

[Kent88]

Dear Too Tired,

I don't live in an area where ice fishing is a thing, but the only justifiable reason I can find for ice fishing is that the fish are already frozen before you take them home.

Sincerely, that's the beer talking

If you want to give it a try and are willing to travel, contact me next December. The trip itself probably wouldn't happen until February because [redacted], but December would be a good time to start planning it.

Sincerely,

 

[seatazzz]

Dear Redacted,

If the Midwest USA is anywhere near where a branch of the company I work for (that rhymes with Zider) (and has to do with trucking) (so I can make them pay for it) I might just hit you up.

Sincerely, I need a vacation

 

[seatazzz]

(yes I know I post way too much in this thread but it's fun)

Dear Beloved Cats,

Use your new automated catbox more so Mamma can show her coworkers when you pee and poop via the app for said new catbox.

Sincerely, I am way too easily entertained

 

[Kent88]

Dear @seatazzz

How are you?

Sincerely,

 

[seatazzz]

Dear @Kent88 ,

Despite depressing posts, quite well! Just having a day of remembering those who have left us too soon. Also I need a haircut.

Sincerely,

I can only be serious for a little bit, then the shenanigans come out. I'm fine, I promise. Thank you for reaching out, I cannot tell you how much I appreciate that.

 

[betarhoalphadelta]

Dear person,
"Too hoppy and bitter" is not constructive criticism when talking about a double IPA.

Sincerely
The brewer.

To bring this WAY back to the start...

Dear wife who prefers pilsners and blonde ales,

When we get through a 3 hour line at Russian River Windsor for the Pliny the Younger release, the one thing you should probably not say to me once you've jumped WAY past all the other things on their tap list to immediately taste Younger, is "You didn't tell me this would be SO aggressive!"

Sincerely,
What did you think a bunch of beer geeks were standing line for?

 

[seatazzz]

Dear Three Entries in Way under-entered Competition due this Friday,

Do your mamma proud.

Sincerely,

Nobody tastes like mold and I finally did a dark beer RIGHT.

And...

Dear Persons who Identify As Female That Also Brew Beer in the PNW,

GET GOING AND GET YOUR ENTRIES IN TOOTSWEET.

Sincerely,

I want some competition

 

[balrog]

Dear @seatazzz ,
Both "shenanigans" and "toot-sweet" in one day?!
Sincerely,
Gonna Have To Up My Diarhetic Verbosityness Game

 

[bruce_the_loon]

Dear Gonna Have To Up My Diarhetic Verbosityness Game

Please take note, the Verbosity Expectation Level has now been raised from Prime Minister Jim Hacker to Sir Humphrey Appleby.

Sincerely,
The Oxford English Dictionary Page 2331

 

[Kent88]

Dear big name barbershop/salon chain,

What the severe heck? I show up at 1pm on a Wednesday, see one person in line, and am told there's an hour wait.

What is this guy asking you to do?

Sincerely,
A shaggy guy nostalgic for a time when I could walk into a place without an appointment, guesstimate about a 10min wait per person in line, and get a simple haircut.

 

[balrog]

Dear big name barbershop/salon chain,

What the severe heck? I show up at 1pm on a Wednesday, see one person in line, and am told there's an hour wait.

What is this guy asking you to do?

Sincerely,
A shaggy guy nostalgic for a time when I could walk into a place without an appointment, guesstimate about a 10min wait per person in line, and get a simple haircut.

Dear Former Barbershop Barber,
Haircut.
Polite conversation, perhaps.
And remember that Miss Manners articulates that one should never discuss sex, religion, or politics in polite company.

Especially politics.

Sincerely,
Never Try To Teach A Pig To Sing; You Waste Your Time And You Annoy The Pig, Who Could Be Holding Sharp Objects Near Your Noggin

 

[Kent88]

Wait, are you the former barbershop barber? I'm definitely not.,

I always let the barber dictate the conversation. I'm usually pretty comfortable with silence, and I don't need anything fancy so my haircuts don't take long anyway, so I'm good just to sit there and be bored. Is it impolite to not try making conversation with the barber?

Sincerely,
Shaggy and apparently not up on barbershop/salon procedures or etiquette.

 

[Kent88]

Me 5 minutes ago,

Balrogs comment likely had nothing to do with you other than you reminded him his barber talks to much.

Work on your parsing.

Sincerely,