SWMBO being COMPLETELY unreasonable

[Zuljin]

You should be tar and feathered for making pulled pork in a crock pot.

Don't listen to him.

While I think that is a fine idea. I would have opted to use a glass jar with lid and tuck them away under a bed or something...

Women do not like anything even remotely "nasty" in the house but what she don't know wont' hurt her. Your downfall was using her tupperware...big no no. I once used SWMBO's baking dish as a drain pan for the car...i never heard the end of that one.

This.

I would have thrown it away. Sorry, man. Have to agree with your lady-partner-friend-wife-whatevs-thing.

"partner". It's like that, huh? That's cool, man. That's cool.

Well, there's only one thing to do. Start pretending to search around the house, when she asks what you're looking for, act startled and say "nothing!" and then when she's in earshot, pretend to be on the phone saying "I can't remember where i put the rest of the bones!"

Or get extra adventurous and say "yes, they all escaped! No, I don't know where they went!"

We should all do this.

 

[b-boy]

Just start bringing dead things home.

I dated a yuppie girl once, scared her wen I brought home what she called dead animals and I called food.
best one is when I found a dead ram sheeps skull. I put it on a boil and went to take a shower.
She came and and said "honey whats cooking it smells great", I started giggling to myself... waiting

I heard the pot lid hit the flor an a four minute long string of explatives.. I fell over laughing.
I also feed the girl squirrel, goat, bobcat, muskrat, beaver tallow, groundhog, raccon, deer, and mourning dove. Cooked it all seasoned up nice in a roadkill stew. All of them recieved rave reviews until I told her what they were.

OK - I'm originally from Ohio. Based on that menu I'm guessing you're from Eastern, to South-Eastern Ohio? Near the Ohio river? Maybe accross from WV panhandle? Am I close?

That's where my family is from, and I remember my Grandfather talking about eating all that stuff. He loved groundhog. He used to sit on a swing in his back yard waiting for groundhogs to sneak into his garden, then nail 'em.

 

[borden]

"Fat from the marrow I think..."

Sometimes honesty is not the best policy!

 

[huntingohio]

OK - I'm originally from Ohio. Based on that menu I'm guessing you're from Eastern, to South-Eastern Ohio? Near the Ohio river? Maybe accross from WV panhandle? Am I close?

That's where my family is from, and I remember my Grandfather talking about eating all that stuff. He loved groundhog. He used to sit on a swing in his back yard waiting for groundhogs to sneak into his garden, then nail 'em.

eastern ohio, but i hunt the entire state and a few other states when i get the chance

 

[gratus fermentatio]

Need a little support here, someone to tell me I was right. So, after making a lovely (read: cheap) pork shoulder into crock-pot pulled pork, I was left with a large shoulder bone. Awesome!

So my plan was to get a bunch of these together over the span of a year and make a long string of shoulder bones tied together with twine for the front balcony.

The other day, SWMBO decides she is going to clean up THE MAN ROOM, and I hear a shriek. Crap. So I ask, "did you hurt yourself?"

"Noooooo... James... what the *deleted* is THIS?!"

"Why, sweetheart, its just a pork bone bleaching in hydrogen peroxide!"

*closes eyes, touches the bridge of her nose*

"Ok... I shouldn't have asked that like that... what I should have asked is WHY THE *rudies* IS THERE A WHITE MEAT BONE IN MY TUPPERWARE ON A BOOKSHELF IN THE GUEST ROOM??!"

"...MAN room"

"NO! DAMMIT JAMES... sigh... my mother is sleeping in this room next weekend..."

"Like she'd ever know..."

"Oh My God... can't believe I'm discussing this. James... what are you doing with a white meat bone? Why would you possibly need this?? And what's the crap floating on the top of the peroxide??"

"Fat from the marrow I think..."

*gags* "Throw it away!!"

"No, Im keeping it for Halloween"

"Almost a year from now?!"

"... yeah?"

After more back and forth I decided there was only one unbiased party I could turn to. My father. He was no help. I'm very disappointed in him.

In the end... she won. The bone I had spent literally weeks bleaching is now in a landfill. There is no justice domestically.

*sigh* it will pass.

Sorry dude, but I gotta agree with your SWMBO on this one. Maybe if you had a garage or storage unit to put it/them (the bones, not swmbo) in, and had done so, I'd have to (reluctantly) agree with you. I mean a skull or even a full skeleton, sure; but a plain old pork shoulder bone? If you had strung this bunch of bones on your balcony, odds are good trick or treaters wouldn't know what it was anyway, or thought they were made of plastic.
Regards, GF.

EDIT: Creamy, you need one of these:
http://www.roadkilltshirts.com/I-FOUND-THIS-HUMERUS-T-SHIRT-P13674.aspx
:fro:

 

[gratus fermentatio]

Sorry your wife didn't appreciate your bone.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Now THAT'S FUNNY!

 

[Golddiggie]

Maybe she just doesn't like it when he puts it where others can easily see it...

 

[Homercidal]

Creamy, I am COMPLETELY with you on this one!

Now, to be fair, I have my own spaces, that are generally not even access by spouse, except when cleaning is done and things in the other parts of the house are placed INTO those spaces, where they are then my responsibility.

The question is whether this particular item would have caused a disturbance to anyone if they were never to open the container. If there was no smell and a person could not see inside, what is the problem?

A man needs his own space, if only to keep his Awesome hobbies away from those who cannot appreciate them.

Clearly she did not consider an alternative to a pork shoulder bone. Realistically you could have hit the highway looking for something MUCH more cooler, like a Raccoon, or even a possum! Those things have the gnarliest teeth in almost the entire animal kingdom! (And creepy little baby fingers, but those don't keep so well as the bones...)

 

[CreamyGoodness]

My only support is HOMER? What an odd turn of events!

 

[Golddiggie]

My only support is HOMER? What an odd turn of events!

Yeah, kind of puts it all into perspective doesn't it?

 

[bobbrewedit]

I'm with b-boy, your man-cave is simply a room where she temporarily lets you hang out. In my house, man-cave is code for "room we still don't have quite enough money to remodel"

 

[Homercidal]

Yeah, kind of puts it all into perspective doesn't it?

So now I just HAVE to find out what my wife would do if I decided to bleach a bone in my man space. (Somehow that sounds oddly homoerotic...)

Anywhey, I think I shall find a carcass on the side of the road and see if I can bleach it in my room. This should not be a difficult assignment that I give myself. I could probably choose between 4-5 different critters just on the way home from work, which is only a few small town blocks away.

Maybe I could just do a deer skull or something cool like that. Then put fake demon horns on it to complete the effect.

Anyway, back to the assignment. Find large bone, clean, and then place in my room with appropriate bleaching chemical to make it clean and white. Record what wife says about it.

Keep in mind that beyond the small room I call my "hobby room", I also have a large garage, and a basement. The garage is likely way too cold right now. The chemical would freeze. The basement is out since it's always damp and disgusting. She would never find the item because she has sworn to never ever go down into the basement unless a tornado were to be bearing down upon her.

So, what to use to clean the meat and other organs from the bone? And then what makes the best bleaching solution?

 

[Golddiggie]

Remember, it's a large PORK bone here...

 

[HeadyKilowatt]

Can't beat dermestid beetles for quick and easy de-fleshing...

http://www.bonesandbugs.com/purchase-dermestid-beetles.html

And they have the added bonus of upping the "messing with SWMBO factor" significantly.

 

[two_hearted]

This reminds me of when I make Kimchi. I ferment it in mason jars and have to degas them every few days. It stinks up half the house like a nasty rhino fart. I hear the wife from the next room, "Oh ********* are you gasin' your cabbage? Pshew!".

 

[Golddiggie]

This reminds me of when I make Kimchi. I ferment it in mason jars and have to degas them every few days. It stinks up half the house like a nasty rhino fart. I hear the wife from the next room, "Oh ********* are you gasin' your cabbage? Pshew!".

I have to ask... How do you know what 'a nasty rhino fart' smells like??

 

[b-boy]

I'm with b-boy, your man-cave is simply a room where she temporarily lets you hang out. In my house, man-cave is code for "room we still don't have quite enough money to remodel"

I get moved every time we remodel. Used to be upstairs. Then I got kicked to the basement. I feel myself being slowly pushed toward the garage. Pretty soon I'll be watching football in a 5x5 storage shed. Hmm.. How big of a flat screen do you think I could get in there?

 

[Golddiggie]

I get moved every time we remodel. Used to be upstairs. Then I got kicked to the basement. I feel myself being slowly pushed toward the garage. Pretty soon I'll be watching football in a 5x5 storage shed. Hmm.. How big of a flat screen do you think I could get in there?

Depends on if that's a 5x5 [foot] on the inside or the outside. Might be able to squeeze a 72" thin edge screen in there... Or mount it on an angle. You'll just need to figure out where to put everything else.

 

[Kittyfeet]

So, what to use to clean the meat and other organs from the bone?

If you drive home from work real fast, mayhaps you can hit a fresh one. That way, you can use a knife and fork to clean the meat off. I hear possum stew is pretty good. :cross:

 

[Homercidal]

If you drive home from work real fast, mayhaps you can hit a fresh one. That way, you can use a knife and fork to clean the meat off. I hear possum stew is pretty good. :cross:

The streets have been clean lately. Damn bums.

For a while there the skunks were all over the place! I guess they are all starting to stay inside an hibernate.

And for personal safety reasons I thought it wise to wait until at least my wife's birthday was past. It's today. She's 40. Even I'm not stupid enough to poke a sleeping badger.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Man, you and your wife are in your early fourties and you already have a daughter in college? When did you get married, at the prom?

 

[Homercidal]

Man, you and your wife are in your early fourties and you already have a daughter in college? When did you get married, at the prom?

No, but we did have a good time NOT going to the prom...

Actually we got married when I was 23 and she was 19. Had our fist 2 years later.

I don't advise other people to have kids that young. And some people I don't advise have kids at all...

 

[beaksnbeer]

No, but we did have a good time NOT going to the prom...

Actually we got married when I was 23 and she was 19. Had our fist 2 years later.
And some people I don't advise have kids at all...

To bad that can't be made to stick.

 

[45_70sharps]

I bought me one of them divorces.
Now, the house is the man room ( within reason since I have a 7 year old daughter ).
The former family room is now the bar. I've decorated with old hubcaps, model A grill, antique guns, hooters calender, brewing gear, a second "man" christmas tree.
I can even use a skull from a smallish buck with a red light where the nose goes for a Rudolph. ( I forgot to put Rudolf up this year!).
Life is good.

 

[SharonaZamboni]

No, but we did have a good time NOT going to the prom...

Actually we got married when I was 23 and she was 19. Had our fist 2 years later.

I don't advise other people to have kids that young. And some people I don't advise have kids at all...

I had my kids starting at 20, and it was not an easy time. But now they're all grown and I'm still fairly young, so there's time to pursue my own interests.

 

[chefmatthew]

Need a little support here, someone to tell me I was right. So, after making a lovely (read: cheap) pork shoulder into crock-pot pulled pork, I was left with a large shoulder bone. Awesome!

So my plan was to get a bunch of these together over the span of a year and make a long string of shoulder bones tied together with twine for the front balcony.

The other day, SWMBO decides she is going to clean up THE MAN ROOM, and I hear a shriek. Crap. So I ask, "did you hurt yourself?"

"Noooooo... James... what the *deleted* is THIS?!"

"Why, sweetheart, its just a pork bone bleaching in hydrogen peroxide!"

*closes eyes, touches the bridge of her nose*

"Ok... I shouldn't have asked that like that... what I should have asked is WHY THE *rudies* IS THERE A WHITE MEAT BONE IN MY TUPPERWARE ON A BOOKSHELF IN THE GUEST ROOM??!"

"...MAN room"

"NO! DAMMIT JAMES... sigh... my mother is sleeping in this room next weekend..."

"Like she'd ever know..."

"Oh My God... can't believe I'm discussing this. James... what are you doing with a white meat bone? Why would you possibly need this?? And what's the crap floating on the top of the peroxide??"

"Fat from the marrow I think..."

*gags* "Throw it away!!"

"No, Im keeping it for Halloween"

"Almost a year from now?!"

"... yeah?"

After more back and forth I decided there was only one unbiased party I could turn to. My father. He was no help. I'm very disappointed in him.

In the end... she won. The bone I had spent literally weeks bleaching is now in a landfill. There is no justice domestically.

*sigh* it will pass.

I have 3 balls I will lend to one cause you dont have any.

 

[cheezydemon3]

I GET IT creamy..

I too LOVE Halloween and have REALLY scary decorations.

 

[beaksnbeer]

Sounds like you could have hide it in the oven.

 

[MotorcycleMatt]

Next time you make delicious pork shoulder... don't give her any...

Just Put the bone on her plate next time you make crock pot pork.

What you should have done is put it in the trash, and later dig it out and rescue it, that way she thinks you got rid of it (shes happy) you still get to keep it (your happy) and hide it.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

I have 3 balls I will lend to one cause you dont have any.

If I knew you this could have been amusing. I'm going to assume you intended to be funny.