Stupid Joke Thread!

[balrog]

 

[balrog]

 

[homebeerbrewer]

View attachment 879266

Dammit, that song is stuck in my head. But the version in my head is funnier.

 

[balrog]

 

[balrog]

 

[BeerAndTele]

I went to a silent auction yesterday. I came home with a dog whistle and 2 mimes.

 

[Closet Fermenter]

View attachment 879364

I feel your pain; my wife had a college roommate with the last name “Moss”. I was so disappointed when I found out that her brother was not named “Pete”.

 

[BongoYodeler]

I went to school with a girl with the last name of Till. First name? Ann of course.

I remember to guys from work many years ago...
Dick Dodge
Dick Chase

 

[day_trippr]

Woman walks into a drug store and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic.
The pharmacist asks "Why do you want to buy arsenic?"
The woman says "I want to poison my husband, because he has been seeing another woman!"
The pharmacist says "Well, I can't sell you arsenic for that!"
The woman pulls out her phone and shows the pharmacist a video of her husband meeting up with a woman - who is the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist says "Oh! I didn't know you had a prescription! Right this way!"

 

[jcav]

A women goes into a pharmacy wanting to buy Viagra for her husband. The women asks the pharmacist if he sells Viagra here. The pharmacist replies "Yes, we sell Viagra here." The women didn't know if she needed a prescription for that and asked the pharmacist "Can you get that over the counter?" The pharmacist replied "Maybe if I take two!"

 

[balrog]

 

[BongoYodeler]

Yeah, but what's involved in preparing a squat cobbler?


(BCS)

 

[wsmith1625]

I tried low oxygen brewing once.

I passed out 3 times and gave up!

 

[MograhmDeadbraid]

What do you call an exploding duck?

A Fire-quacker!

 

[balrog]

 

[homebeerbrewer]

 

[DaveDiamond]

A duck walks into a store, picks up a tube of lip balm, and places it on the clecks counter. The clerk says," that'll be $2."
The duck says," I'm out of money till pay day. Can you just put it on my bill?"

Donald Duck walks up to the counter with a condom, the clerk says "that's $1 Donald, would you like me to put that on your bill?"
Donald goes bright red, steam comes out of his ears, finally he explodes "What do I look like, some sort of D*ckhead?!!!"

 

[balrog]

I went jogging today.

The ice cream truck wouldn't slow down.

 

[ncbrewer]

The ice cream truck wouldn't slow down.

How many remember those?

 

[BongoYodeler]

How many remember those?

I remember the ice cream truck even drove up our dead end street. And going further back in time I remember the milk man delivering milk and other dairy products, dropping them off in a metal box on everyone's front porch. As a young boy I used to follow behind the truck, patiently waiting until the milk man gave me an ice cube to suck on, on those hot summer mornings.

 

[tracer bullet]

How many remember those?

They're around, got together with another family at a local lake 2 weekends ago and one of those old trucks with the music and etc. came by. Any yep we were scrambling to find some cash to appease the kids.

 

[balrog]

 

[Brockness Monster]

Boy, that took me longer to understand than I care to admit

 

[Skeeter686]

How many remember those?

I was a groomsman at a friend's wedding and the photographer had us outside for some shots. I heard the ice cream truck, it was pretty warm out, and I decided to chase him down! Pretty soon, the entire bridal party was there and the photographer got a bunch of fun pictures of people in dresses and tuxes with ice cream cones and bomb pops!

 

[day_trippr]

I haven't heard one go by so far this year, but at least as recently as peak summer last year we had an ice cream truck slow-roll through the neighborhood around suppertime every day...

 

[homebeerbrewer]

When I lived in MA, there was one that drove by my house frequently. I had a long driveway, so I’d definitely be jogging to the street if I wanted ice cream. Too much effort for an expensive little treat.

 

[balrog]

My late father was a dentist.

I approve this humor.

 

[Agent]

My late father was a dentist.

I approve this humor.

View attachment 879673

What did your early father do?

 

[balrog]

 

[balrog]