Stupid Joke Thread!

[balrog]

I love the internet.

 

[agentbud]

What if beer is addicted to me and I am just the victim...

 

[BongoYodeler]

What if beer is addicted to me and I am just the victim...

 

[Hoppy2bmerry]

 

[balrog]

Is it ok if I start drinking as soon as the kids have gotten to school?
Or does that make me a bad teacher?

 

[homebeerbrewer]

Is it ok if I start drinking as soon as the kids have gotten to school?
Or does that make me a bad teacher?

Here in the USA, probably. Europe, maybe not so much. But this comment may belong in the Debate Forum.

 

[ehall]

can't have any pudding til you drink your scotch!

 

[Broothru]

can't have any pudding til you drink your scotch!

“More, Sir?”

I’ll pass on the pudding, thank you kindly.

 

[lumpher]

Sad news today... there was a devastating fire at a local cemetery. 327 bodies were recovered.

 

[balrog]

 

[day_trippr]

Parallel lines have so much in common.
It's a shame they'll never meet.

 

[homebeerbrewer]

Sister Theresa, known for both her high intelligence and thoughtfulness, often was referred to as Nun the Wiser.

 

[balrog]

Man Shot With Upholstery Gun.

Surgeons say he is now fully recovered.

 

[homebeerbrewer]

View attachment 882821

If it was hot then it’d be justgas, and anyone with a dog knows that justgas is usually soon followed by a

 

[Sailingeric]

 

[balrog]

View attachment 883026

Nice one.
I heard that one on the grapevine.

 

[Broothru]

Nice one.
I heard that one on the grapevine.

“Better than all the rest…”

 

[agentbud]

People who say "go big or go home" completely underestimate my willingness to just go home.

 

[balrog]

 

[Steveruch]

Peeyoo.

 

[balrog]

Krispy Kreme reported that it's online ordering was briefly hacked recently.

Apparently their cyber security had a few holes.

 

[Rish]

My wife told me she and her sisters are having a weight loss competition to get ready for the holidays.
"I hope you win" was apparently the wrong response.

 

[agentbud]

I woke up this morning determined to drink less, eat right and exercise.

But that was 4 hours ago... when I was younger and full of hope.

 

[balrog]

I am almost embarrassed at how much I laughed at this.

 

[balrog]

Running into stationary objects can be painful,
according to a recent pole.

 

[BongoYodeler]

View attachment 883562

I am almost embarrassed at how much I laughed at this.

Bufaloes on the Wing. pt1

 

[agentbud]

Dentist: You're brushing your teeth wrong.

Nutritionist: You're eating wrong.

Parent: You're living wrong.

Liquor Store Guy: Excellent choice!

 

[agentbud]

Remember when you used to tell your parents you were sleeping over at a friend's house but actually you were dying from alcohol poisoning in a field. Those were good times...

 

[betarhoalphadelta]

My wife and I have started role-playing in the bedroom.

Her favorite is "sexy librarian."

That's the one where I sit quietly while she reads a book.

 

[DaveDiamond]

I've told you before Luv, you've either gotta start wearing a bra, or stop wearing short skirts!!!