She Walks in the Willows with Pandas

[paulthenurse]

Your keyboard???? No-one gives a ****e about your keyboard Babalu!!!!

What about my life?

And don't even go there.

PTN

 

[babalu87]

Your keyboard???? No-one gives a ****e about your keyboard Babalu!!!!

What about my life?

And don't even go there.

PTN

You know that moment before you got ticket A-193...............................

 

[paulthenurse]

I googled "she walks in the willows with pandas" to see if it had any meaning. Nope. Apparently HBT is the only place on the net you can find that exact quote.

Meaning???

I'll tell you exactly what the tattoo's on this nitwits arm meant:


MooGoo Guy Pan $9.95
Generals Chicken $12.25
House Flied Lice $4.95
Egg Roll 2/$4.50

House Special
Big Ass Soup $7.95

PTN

 

[shecky]

Meaning???

I'll tell you exactly what the tattoo's on this nitwits arm meant:


MooGoo Guy Pan $9.95
Generals Chicken $12.25
House Flied Lice $4.95
Egg Roll 2/$4.50

House Special
Big Ass Soup $7.95

PTN

Surely you meant Big, Monstrous, Self-Contained Geographical Area Soup.

 

[paulthenurse]

You didn't see her ass. There was no containment going on.

PTN

 

[paulthenurse]

A decided lack of containment.

PTN

 

[babalu87]

Big Ass Soup $7.95

PTN

Thanks, now I have puke on my shirt

 

[paulthenurse]

Take it to the Chinaman to washee. Don't be like me, don't forget your tikee.

 

[paulthenurse]

Hi everyone,
My names Paul and I'm a Xenophobe.

PTN

 

[TerapinChef]

For some reason the telling of this story brought to mind Arlo Guthrie telling the Alice's Restaurant....

I went over to the sargent, said, "Sargeant, you got a lot a damn gall to
ask me if I've rehabilitated myself, I mean, I mean, I mean that just, I'm
sittin' here on the bench, I mean I'm sittin here on the Group W bench
'cause you want to know if I'm moral enough join the army, burn women,
kids, houses and villages after bein' a assgrabber." He looked at me and
said, "Kid, we don't like your kind, and we're gonna send you fingerprints
off to Washington."

 

[paulthenurse]

I've actually been considerng myself some sort of weird cross between Arlo Guthrie and George Castanza. Of course in my case it was explaining to the Trooper about the pictures and arrows and the paragraph on the back of my ticket. I think the George Castanza reference is self explainatory.

PTN

 

[paulthenurse]

I want to grope. I want to grope. I want to GROPE!!


And the Trooper started jumping up and down on the bench next to me and shouting GROPE GROPE GROPE.

And then Teddy Kennedy came out and pinned a medal on me and we all went back to having fun with the deli tickets

 

[the_bird]

Reminds me of the Celtic's offseason signing, Marquis Daniels. Apparently his tat, which was SUPPOSED to represent his initials (even though, uh... Chinese characters don't really work like that), instead reads "healthy, woman, roof"

So Paul, yes you can bring your new g/f to the house, but she's not allowed on top of the garage.

 

[paulthenurse]

Ok, but if you change your mind and want to demo the whole garage I know how to save us a LOT of time.

PTN

 

[r2eng]

Awesome story! Had me laughing so hard, I had to stop and finish after lunch!

Felt just like a Pat McManus story, except nothing to do with the outdoors.

 

[babalu87]

I've actually been considerng myself some sort of weird

PTN

Nailed it

..................

 

[Bedlam]

Awesome! I about spewed my snap peas over this one. You just can't make that **** up. WHat a nice little tale about mundane life events...and the ass that ate Manhattan...

 

[Scut_Monkey]

I'm still giggling inside after reading this last night. Thanks for taking one for the team and grabbing her ass. You gave us all a good story.

 

[DeathBrewer]

Heh. Good story. I think the moral is:

Get into JUST enough trouble for them to push you through the system.

 

[user 7154]

Your point of the story is to never let go of your "deli" ticket

 

[Skins_Brew]

That was a pretty good story and the way you described it made it that much better. I think this would be pretty funny as one of those simple animated shorts, you know, the stick figure kind.

 

[paulthenurse]

Stick figure?


I think you need to go back and re-read the story.

PTN

 

[DeathBrewer]

Well, one stick figure could get chopped in half and stuck on a pumpkin. Tis the season.

 

[paulthenurse]

You ARE consistant, I'll give you that.

PTN

 

[HenryHill]

"If it weren't for my hooorse, I would have never went to college" -Lewis Black

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Great story!

I are highly amused.

 

[middleofnowhere]

Time to send this to NBC, they are in need of some good Comedy shows and I want to watch this story on TV.

 

[Foamenter]

The tattoo probably says " She Waddles to the Window at Panda Express"

 

[Cape Brewing]

.. meh... I've heard better stories

 

[paulthenurse]

Like the one where you were just about to jump off the stern of a boat a mile offshore wearing 40 lbs of lead wearing an empty scuba tank? You're right, I like that story better. Except it didn't have the happy ending I was yearning for.

PTN