"Saying it in your outside voice" Tips for new members/venting and/or entertainment for regular HBTers

[Joe P]

if only they built homes with homebrewing in mind, it'd have a drain installed, and that would be perfect! just hose the kitchen down after brew day! i envy people with dedicated brew rooms!

but the best luck i've had is soaking it with a wet towel, and using my feet to clean it after 10-20 minutes of soaking, mops don't work....

Thats why I brew outside. I've never had to sweep the grass.

 

[bracconiere]

obviously underage poster who wants to know how to make quick alcohol with sugar and water, when mom/dad aren't looking.

HEY! I just want to take a break!

 

[AZCoolerBrewer]

Just because a process is harder doesn’t mean it will necessarily make your beer better. Conversely, taking shortcuts can negatively affect the flavor of your beer. It is the divining of good value for work to result ratio that characterizes a veteran brewer.

Like any food preparation, quality ingredients is the number 1 indicator as to whether your beer will taste good.

 

[Dr_Jeff]

A pressure washer !?!

@bracconiere or maybe some bleach

 

[Alan Reginato]

Ok.. it wasn’t $50K worth, and I didn’t post a TON of pics!

And, I know this won’t be popular… but I HATE reading books! If I sit still long enough to read a book, I’ll fall asleep. Unfortunately, it’s just not in my nature. It’s obvious that this is a rare trait in this hobby though, because that’s the first thing everyone throws at you when you start looking for help. I get it, there’s a plethora of great info out there published in books, but thankfully that’s not the only medium available.

I won’t speak for every noob that comes here looking for advice, but I found the forum probably the same way most do.. researching. I had a pretty good idea of what I needed to do to brew my first batch, I really just needed a good nudge (or kick in the ass) to get me going. Thankfully, there were a lot of great folks that jumped in and helped me out!

To be clear though, I’m definitely not one of those that would just ask for help without trying to help myself first! I know that can get old really quick. One thing I would ask of folks though, is to remember what it was like when they were the new guy asking for advice. I feel as though most on here already do, but there are some that come off as the "UberBeerMeister-God of All Things Beer".


-D

Some people doesn't like to read. I can't watch videos, they're way too slow to exchange information.

And I look into forums for opinions (share your god damn perceptions about), not researching. The last is better at sites and books, like How to brew. Hahaha

Also, seriously, don't tell newbies they can't make good beer without using very expensive equipment or time consuming process. Homebrew is supposed to be simple. If you like it more complex, it's ok, really. But someone could be crying right now because can't afford a tilt hydrometer ( or anything fancy) that you suggested.

 

[TheBluePhantom]

I get tired of the posts that ask an honest (and yes, maybe newbie) question. And then someone feels compelled to post something like: "Well I have never had that problem in my many years of brewing, I have always have perfect batches. And now they are even better with the $50k brewing rig I just bought." That is neither relevent nor helpful to the OP. you want to brag? No problemo, just start a thread for that, or post in one of the existing threads that are about that.

I have accidentally made a few necromancer posts myself. Too easy to click those bottom links and forget you did so. How about HBT puts a background tint, or stripes or something in a thread once the thread has been dormant for 3 or 6 months? You can still post and everything else, but just a reminder that it is a stale thread. Anyone else like that idea?

 

[Broken Crow]

I have accidentally made a few necromancer posts myself. Too easy to click those bottom links and forget you did so. How about HBT puts a background tint, or stripes or something in a thread once the thread has been dormant for 3 or 6 months? You can still post and everything else, but just a reminder that it is a stale thread. Anyone else like that idea?

Pro's and cons... There's entertainment value to be added when somone comes in to a 14 year old post with a "Perfect Solution" specific to the OP's urgent and unique one-time problem and it's one of those days when a lot of people don't notice the date, only the new response, and everyone piles in adding refinements and links to parts.

 

[BrewnWKopperKat]

Too easy to click those bottom links and forget you did so. How about HBT puts a background tint, or stripes or something in a thread once the thread has been dormant for 3 or 6 months? You can still post and everything else, but just a reminder that it is a stale thread. Anyone else like that idea?

I like it.

Pro's and cons...

Pros: it drives traffic

Cons: beyond the laugh track, the posts often are not worth reading.

 

[Dland]

-Maintaining a Kegging system (properly) takes just as much time as bottling (I do both).

How so?

Either I have a simpler system than you, or I'm not doing it "properly". Used to bottle 10 gallon batches as well, between the bottle filling and sanitizing = almost another half a brew day.

 

[Dland]

One common newbie post goes like "my fresh wort has off taste,".. or "just racked beer tastes like yeast, or too bitter, etc".

There are two main parts of brewing process; "hot side", the process of making wort, and "cold side", temp control and conditioning.

While hot side is where one puts most active effort, paying attention to cold side is just as important, along with patience, to make good beer.

 

[Velnerj]

How so?

Either I have a simpler system than you, or I'm not doing it "properly". Used to bottle 10 gallon batches as well, between the bottle filling and sanitizing = almost another half a brew day.

Well I don't want to be too pretentious so perhaps "properly" was a bit overstated. You can run your kegging system however you want so your way is the proper way.

Nevertheless, for me it means for each batch I clean the kegs: disassemble all the small parts soak, rinse and sanitize. Then use the kegs to clean/flush the lines (thereby also purge them) + clean the taps and make sure the kegerator inside and outside gets a good wipe down etc.

Packaging then burping kegs, finagling with the lines to get everything back in the kegerator. Making sure there are no leaks liquid or gas (usually there is something).

Also what's specific to my situation is that my kegerator doubles as my fermentation chamber. So this requires reassembly every time (understand this is a unique situation to me).

All in all takes about 2 - 2.5 hours to get everything done which is how long it takes me to bottle 5 gallons as well.

There's also time committed intermittently to getting the CO2 tank filled, switching the lines every now and then. Cleaning the drip tray (if you have one). Not to mention the time invested if you DIY your kegerator/keezer. It all adds up.

 

[Dland]

Nevertheless, for me it means for each batch I clean the kegs: disassemble all the small parts soak, rinse and sanitize. Then use the kegs to clean/flush the lines (thereby also purge them) + clean the taps and make sure the kegerator inside and outside gets a good wipe down etc.

Sounds good and completely reasonable. My dispensing rig consists of one tap with an adjustable pressure compensator, that I move around to the kegs I want to draw from. I top off carbonation in kegs that are tapped when pressure slows, either from CO2 tank or one of the conditioning kegs that is somewhat over pressure from spunding.

Used to do the whole gas mainfold thing w constant CO2 to every keg, or at least 6 of them, but with all the cleaning of back blows, not to mention the potential gas leaks, cut back & simplified. Beer tastes just as good. No one going to be impressed with my bar, but mostly no one there but me, at least at serving.

Have even intentionally over built pressure w spunding in kegs to dispence older kegs. Just practicing for when we can't buy CO2 anymore.

Packaging then burping kegs, finagling with the lines to get everything back in the kegerator. Making sure there are no leaks liquid or gas (usually there is something).

I use fermentation gas to purge sanitized kegs, CO2 from a ten gallon batch can easily purge three cornys, but I usually only do two, as that is all I need for any batch.

Couple of good threads on that here, should you be interested.

Also what's specific to my situation is that my kegerator doubles as my fermentation chamber. So this requires reassembly every time (understand this is a unique situation to me).

All in all takes about 2 - 2.5 hours to get everything done which is how long it takes me to bottle 5 gallons as well.

There's also time committed intermittently to getting the CO2 tank filled, switching the lines every now and then. Cleaning the drip tray (if you have one). Not to mention the time invested if you DIY yo

ur kegerator/keezer. It all adds up.

No drip tray and bottom of my coffin rig is not pretty, but beer still tastes good. My 12 keg unit does lagering/crashing and distrabution.

 

[bracconiere]

but just a reminder that it is a stale thread. Anyone else like that idea?

there is a time and date stamp on every post already?

 

[hottpeper13]

Darn!

 

[bracconiere]

Darn!

Gosh!

 

[bracconiere]

please don't tell me they are called "milk can clamps".

... , ....?

maybe look for a 12-13 liter milk pail?

 

[Plastic Brewkettle]

I haven't been here for a long time, but I'd say take all advice with a giant bag of rock salt. I've had good advice and extremely bad advice. Luckily nothing has ruined my beer, but at least one batch suffered like a sickly orphan.

 

[bracconiere]

I haven't been here for a long time, but I'd say take all advice with a giant bag of rock salt. I've had good advice and extremely bad advice. Luckily nothing has ruined my beer, but at least one batch suffered like a sickly orphan.

as should everything on the internet...just a BUNCH of random food for thought?


(and it wasn't something i said? i do try and avoid actually talking about making beer as much as i can!)

 

[BrewnWKopperKat]

Luckily nothing has ruined my beer

When trying something new, it's called a 'test batch'. By definition, test batches are never ruined.

 

[elproducto]

HBT hot tip/request. Please don't post recipe ideas or questions in the recipe forum. Only tried and true recipes.

 

[Big_D]

For the record: I love your beer & geear pics. If it's not an invasion of privacy, how about a picture of that part off to the right of your fermenters that looks to be a well laid out 'wall of power'? My comment about hd pics posted by people with more money than brains is directed at a very specific type of narcissist

Lol.. appreciate it! I was being a bit facetious in my original reply. I know the bits of equipment I've gathered up for my makeshift brewery pale in comparison to some of the setups I've seen on here! As for the wall of power, you pretty much hit the nail on the head. It's the power/control array for one of my other hobbies. In some of my photos, there's a noticeable blue hue in the room.. that's due to the LED lighting for my salt water aquarium. That's what the control board is for.

 

[Big_D]

Now we're waaaay off topic!


I’ll reign it back in a little.. I’ve got this one too, but I’m afraid to use it.

 

[Broken Crow]

You, Sir, Are a role-model for elegant and functional organization of the glorious Gear.

 

[Dr_Jeff]

And he can brew on carpet ! ! !

 

[Big_D]

And he can brew on carpet ! ! !

Lol.. they're just a couple runner throw rugs from Costco. I've got a few new spares just in case!

 

[Plastic Brewkettle]

@Big_D Your man-cave must be something to see if this is your homebrew setup.

 

[Broken Crow]

Just testing my prototype keg/fermenter-washer/CIP... Here's some beautiful Gear Porn:

..And, In use:

Unfortunately the spray ball doesn't fit inside glass carboys, but I'm trying to phase those out. I've mounted the sprayball on a QD so I can also use it in my keggle lid: a domed 1.5"TC SS Brewtech Brewbucket lid which a perfect match for my 303mm keggle opening that I bought for my steam condenser. ...Yes I know I have to put a cross in with ball lock > NPT connectors, but I don't seem to have bought those yet. ..for now I'll just put some PBW in it and recirculate with my carbing pump.

EDIT: I'm still learning how to properly insert images.

 

[seatazzz]

Ok let's get this thread back on topic....

FINALLY remembered one that bugs the absolute hell out of me.

Hey guys I'm a new homebrewer just got a mr beer kit from my auntie she had it for a while so I'm wondering if it's any good do I need to do anything different oh and I don't have a way to keep the temperature stable can I just stick it in my closet and call it good until it's ready for secondary because that's what the instructions said and I don't have any sanitiser can I use bleach will it still be good thanks.

PUNCTUATION!!!!!! ARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!! I can overlook spelling errors but something like the above makes my head and eyes spin like an out of control something that spins.

*edit The above isn't an actual post from HBT, just something I made up as a mishmash of many posts we've all seen.

 

[marc1]

Ok let's get this thread back on topic....

FINALLY remembered one that bugs the absolute hell out of me.

Hey guys I'm a new homebrewer just got a mr beer kit from my auntie she had it for a while so I'm wondering if it's any good do I need to do anything different oh and I don't have a way to keep the temperature stable can I just stick it in my closet and call it good until it's ready for secondary because that's what the instructions said and I don't have any sanitiser can I use bleach will it still be good thanks.

PUNCTUATION!!!!!! ARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!! I can overlook spelling errors but something like the above makes my head and eyes spin like an out of control something that spins.

It just needs a few hundred more words to become a brain-breaking wall of text! Extra points for all lower case or capitals.

 

[seatazzz]

It just needs a few hundred more words to become a brain-breaking wall of text! Extra points for all lower case or capitals.

I tried to type more but even just typing it made me slightly insane!!!