Said in jest, SWMBO not amused

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Peruvian802 said:
I've got a similar thing I tell my wife when she forgets the laundry, dinner plans, etc. I just tell her it will come back up during her annual review.
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I've got a similar thing but it's the exact opposite.

I have no idea what's going on until the wife tells me... and then I'm all,

"Oh... yes... of course I remember that.

Also, is my laundry done?"
 
I once asked my girlfriend "What did you do to your hair?" Apparently she'd gotten a perm because she thought I would like it that way. She was on the verge of crying, but I was able to talk her into doing something else instead. ;)
Regards, GF.
 
gratus fermentatio said:
I once asked my girlfriend "What did you do to your hair?" Apparently she'd gotten a perm because she thought I would like it that way. She was on the verge of crying, but I was able to talk her into doing something else instead. ;)
Regards, GF.
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That does suck.

My Daughter came home with a bob once and I didn't care for it. I told her I loved it anyways and she whispers "I hate it but mom wanted it. Tell her I don't want it again.".

I'm a lucky dude. My daughter is so much like me it's scary. She argues with her mom and when she gets in trouble she does the royal we. "Look. I'm sorry you're angry but no one meant to upset you. We need to talk this out.". She uses her hands in the same way so it's like getting an apology from a tiny girl me.
 
cannman said:
The real secret that must be protected is that when you are banished to the couch, you've just been sent to the room with the largest TV.

1lJ7wQU.png
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It's like sending a kid to his/her room where all his/her stuff is as a punishment.
 
Austin said:
I take that stuff. "Go to your room!"

"Ok!"

"I'll be there in a sec to get your TV.".

"Oh man...Listen, I'm sorry. No one meant to upset you.".
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Save yourself the effort. Take a trip to the fuse box and flip off the power to said child's room. no power, no electronics. Phone in the key basket by the front door. Thank you, enjoy your punishment
 
Craigmn said:
Accidental post
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You must have said something your SWMBO did not approve of...

http://treasure.diylol.com/uploads/post/image/565411/resized_the-most-interesting-man-in-the-world-meme-generator-i-don-t-always-delete-my-posts-but-when-i-do-it-s-because-i-look-like-an-*******-016779.jpg
 
"Sorry you had a bad day, dear. Can I do anything to make you feel better?"

"A blowjob would be nice."

"Funny man. I'm not doing that."

"Oh, no worries. I'm sure I can find someone else who will."

"..."

547878_10150993250848564_55291405_n.jpg
 
GuldTuborg said:
"Sorry you had a bad day, dear. Can I do anything to make you feel better?"

"A blowjob would be nice."

"Funny man. I'm not doing that."

"Oh, no worries. I'm sure I can find someone else who will."

"..."
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Lol... I quickly noticed that the frequency of that died down shortly after we got married.

Brought it up a couple weeks later... "Hey, I noticed you kind of stopped doing that as often."

Her: "I was just doing that to 'get' you."

Me: "I can still leave."

She didn't think it was funny at the time, but it fixed the issue.
 
Psylocide said:
Lol... I quickly noticed that the frequency of that died down shortly after we got married.

Brought it up a couple weeks later... "Hey, I noticed you kind of stopped doing that as often."

Her: "I was just doing that to 'get' you."

Me: "I can still leave."

She didn't think it was funny at the time, but it fixed the issue.
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I might have to try that line, see how it works. My wife asked me something about frequency of this and that at some point...I don't even remember exactly what the question was. Maybe she asked if I was concerned that the frequency of whatever would taper off.

Me: "No, I'm not so much concerned about that."

"Then why are you laughing?"

"Because you'd have to start with some regularity before the frequency can go down."

[angry face]

"No worries. I can find someone else who will."

http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/*****-im-too-tired-to-slap-you.jpg
 
My wife finally bought new bras which made a huge improvement in her posture. One day while driving down the road I asked if she had the new bra on? She said "no why?" My response started to come out of my mouth, "Well because they look awful sag...." Thankfully somewhere deep down in the self preservation side of my brain it stopped my mouth from finishing the word "saggy". She said she could actually see the fight or flight response on my face when the brain kicked in. She got a good laugh out of it and I got grounded from them for a couple of weeks.
 
cannman said:
I do that at work a lot, especially to the "prettier" girls.



"Oh wow, are you okay? You look terrible... I mean, you're fine for work... but man... *long smile and I enjoy the horrific reaction* :rockin:
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I love it!
 
I work at an airport, and once, one of the flight attendants came up here while extremely pregnant. She came over to where we were to see if a passenger had left their carry-on in the baggage compartment, and I pointed to her belly and said,

"That baby can't be out here in a vehicle that large without an AVOP".

I didn't win any brownie points that day.
 
There was one time she needed the car and we only had one at the time and I have no idea why but I cannot stand being dropped off and picked up from work. During the "conversation" I asked her why she even needed the car seeings how the kitchen is at the house.....

I thought it was funny, did not however lighten the conversation
 
wtaylor3 said:
There was one time she needed the car and we only had one at the time and I have no idea why but I cannot stand being dropped off and picked up from work. During the "conversation" I asked her why she even needed the car seeings how the kitchen is at the house.....

I thought it was funny, did not however lighten the conversation
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14533_225550607639_531247639_403883.jpg
 
firerat said:
Before i met my wife, I was dating a woman 20 years older than me. I was 23 she was 43ish (I never really verified, even I'm not that dumb.)

She had a daughter who was 24 who was smoking hot. And she was a Hooter's waitress.

Anyways, miss cougar and I are laying on the couch watching TV and here comes miss Hooters in short shorts and her job qualifications just falling out.

And I got caught glancing.

Miss Cougar: Do you want to sleep with my daughter?

Me: Can I?



Apparently not.....
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I've seen a number of films with a similar plot line, except for the "Apparently not" part. I'll leave it at that.
 
Gerry_P said:
Originally Posted by firerat View Post
Before i met my wife, I was dating a woman 20 years older than me. I was 23 she was 43ish (I never really verified, even I'm not that dumb.)

She had a daughter who was 24 who was smoking hot. And she was a Hooter's waitress.

Anyways, miss cougar and I are laying on the couch watching TV and here comes miss Hooters in short shorts and her job qualifications just falling out.

And I got caught glancing.

Miss Cougar: Do you want to sleep with my daughter?

Me: Can I?



Apparently not.....
Click to expand...

I once dated a women (and I was a kid) who had a daughter 3 months younger than I.

I was sleeping with the mom, but one day she asked me if I wanted to sleep with her AND her daughter....

I didn't know what to say, the mom was smoking already, boob job (reconstruction only), fun to be with, beautiful, and I never met the daughter. So I declined. This was as close to the daughter-mother fantasy I ever got.

wait, what thread is this?
 
firerat said:
Before i met my wife, I was dating a woman 20 years older than me. I was 23 she was 43ish (I never really verified, even I'm not that dumb.)

She had a daughter who was 24 who was smoking hot. And she was a Hooter's waitress.

Anyways, miss cougar and I are laying on the couch watching TV and here comes miss Hooters in short shorts and her job qualifications just falling out.

And I got caught glancing.

Miss Cougar: Do you want to sleep with my daughter?

Me: Can I?

Apparently not.....
Click to expand...

cannman said:
I once dated a women (and I was a kid) who had a daughter 3 months younger than I.

I was sleeping with the mom, but one day she asked me if I wanted to sleep with her AND her daughter....

I didn't know what to say, the mom was smoking already, boob job (reconstruction only), fun to be with, beautiful, and I never met the daughter. So I declined. This was as close to the daughter-mother fantasy I ever got.

wait, what thread is this?
Click to expand...



Trick questions should be multiple choice...
 
cannman said:
I once dated a women (and I was a kid) who had a daughter 3 months younger than I.

I was sleeping with the mom, but one day she asked me if I wanted to sleep with her AND her daughter....

I didn't know what to say, the mom was smoking already, boob job (reconstruction only), fun to be with, beautiful, and I never met the daughter. So I declined. This was as close to the daughter-mother fantasy I ever got.

wait, what thread is this?
Click to expand...

:smack:
 
cannman said:
I do that at work a lot, especially to the "prettier" girls.

"Oh wow, are you okay? You look terrible... I mean, you're fine for work... but man... *long smile and I enjoy the horrific reaction* :rockin:
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I knew this short funny looking mofo in college with a general strategy like that. It worked surprisingly well. I don't condone the behavior, but I'll be damned if it didn't work . . . :(
 
NickTheGreat said:
I knew this short funny looking mofo in college with a general strategy like that. It worked surprisingly well. I don't condone the behavior, but I'll be damned if it didn't work . . . :(
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Don't condone it either but I'll be dammed if the phrase "treat a girl like dirt and she will stick like mud" doesn't ring true.

Eventually the women mature with age and move past this but I was shocked in my younger years how well this worked for people
 
After numerous girlfriends, live in's, and 3 wives...I found that what you DON'T SAY is actually just as important as what you do say....maybe more so!

Now, when the women hit menopause (I call it man-o-pause)....it doesn't matter what you say, or don't say....just hope you can walk away alive! life gets real interesting, real fast, logic does not apply.
 
AkBrew907 said:
Don't condone it either but I'll be dammed if the phrase "treat a girl like dirt and she will stick like mud" doesn't ring true.

Eventually the women mature with age and move past this but I was shocked in my younger years how well this worked for people
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He was actually the first person I heard use that phrase! :smack:
 
They can get very competitive in a group setting, so be careful! I'm just saying...
 
Rhumbline said:
It might have something to do with the fact that he thought they were logical and rational up to menopause.
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Nawww...just stupid and horny..no excuses...just love women. The worst one I ever had was twice as much fun as you guys!!:eek::eek:
 

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