Said in jest, SWMBO not amused

[Venari]

I work at an airport, and once, one of the flight attendants came up here while extremely pregnant. She came over to where we were to see if a passenger had left their carry-on in the baggage compartment, and I pointed to her belly and said,

"That baby can't be out here in a vehicle that large without an AVOP".

I didn't win any brownie points that day.

 

[cannman]

We're having the end of summer "I'm fat and the holidays are coming" conversation currently. I feel bad for one of the girls at work, I kept telling her "you look thin today!" Because she did, but well...

View attachment ImageUploadedByHome Brew1441737248.823936.jpg

 

[chisena]

"God you look fat after having that baby!"

 

[wtaylor3]

There was one time she needed the car and we only had one at the time and I have no idea why but I cannot stand being dropped off and picked up from work. During the "conversation" I asked her why she even needed the car seeings how the kitchen is at the house.....

I thought it was funny, did not however lighten the conversation

 

[cannman]

There was one time she needed the car and we only had one at the time and I have no idea why but I cannot stand being dropped off and picked up from work. During the "conversation" I asked her why she even needed the car seeings how the kitchen is at the house.....

I thought it was funny, did not however lighten the conversation

 

[Gerry_P]

Before i met my wife, I was dating a woman 20 years older than me. I was 23 she was 43ish (I never really verified, even I'm not that dumb.)

She had a daughter who was 24 who was smoking hot. And she was a Hooter's waitress.

Anyways, miss cougar and I are laying on the couch watching TV and here comes miss Hooters in short shorts and her job qualifications just falling out.

And I got caught glancing.

Miss Cougar: Do you want to sleep with my daughter?

Me: Can I?



Apparently not.....

I've seen a number of films with a similar plot line, except for the "Apparently not" part. I'll leave it at that.

 

[cannman]

Originally Posted by firerat View Post
Before i met my wife, I was dating a woman 20 years older than me. I was 23 she was 43ish (I never really verified, even I'm not that dumb.)

She had a daughter who was 24 who was smoking hot. And she was a Hooter's waitress.

Anyways, miss cougar and I are laying on the couch watching TV and here comes miss Hooters in short shorts and her job qualifications just falling out.

And I got caught glancing.

Miss Cougar: Do you want to sleep with my daughter?

Me: Can I?



Apparently not.....

I once dated a women (and I was a kid) who had a daughter 3 months younger than I.

I was sleeping with the mom, but one day she asked me if I wanted to sleep with her AND her daughter....

I didn't know what to say, the mom was smoking already, **** job (reconstruction only), fun to be with, beautiful, and I never met the daughter. So I declined. This was as close to the daughter-mother fantasy I ever got.

wait, what thread is this?

 

[wtaylor3]

but one day she asked me if i wanted to sleep with her and her daughter..

**** job (reconstruction only), fun to be with, beautiful, so i declined. This was as close to the daughter-mother fantasy as i got

View attachment ImageUploadedByHome Brew1441777721.507443.jpg

 

[betarhoalphadelta]

I've seen a number of films with a similar plot line, except for the "Apparently not" part. I'll leave it at that.

Calling those pornos "films" is generous, as is the implication they have a "plot".

 

[PlexVector]

Before i met my wife, I was dating a woman 20 years older than me. I was 23 she was 43ish (I never really verified, even I'm not that dumb.)

She had a daughter who was 24 who was smoking hot. And she was a Hooter's waitress.

Anyways, miss cougar and I are laying on the couch watching TV and here comes miss Hooters in short shorts and her job qualifications just falling out.

And I got caught glancing.

Miss Cougar: Do you want to sleep with my daughter?

Me: Can I?

Apparently not.....

I once dated a women (and I was a kid) who had a daughter 3 months younger than I.

I was sleeping with the mom, but one day she asked me if I wanted to sleep with her AND her daughter....

I didn't know what to say, the mom was smoking already, **** job (reconstruction only), fun to be with, beautiful, and I never met the daughter. So I declined. This was as close to the daughter-mother fantasy I ever got.

wait, what thread is this?

Trick questions should be multiple choice...

 

[Gerry_P]

I once dated a women (and I was a kid) who had a daughter 3 months younger than I.

I was sleeping with the mom, but one day she asked me if I wanted to sleep with her AND her daughter....

I didn't know what to say, the mom was smoking already, **** job (reconstruction only), fun to be with, beautiful, and I never met the daughter. So I declined. This was as close to the daughter-mother fantasy I ever got.

wait, what thread is this?

:smack:

 

[Gerry_P]

Calling those pornos "films" is generous, as is the implication they have a "plot".

Porn? Who said anything about porn?

 

[NickTheGreat]

I do that at work a lot, especially to the "prettier" girls.

"Oh wow, are you okay? You look terrible... I mean, you're fine for work... but man... *long smile and I enjoy the horrific reaction* :rockin:

I knew this short funny looking mofo in college with a general strategy like that. It worked surprisingly well. I don't condone the behavior, but I'll be damned if it didn't work . . .

 

[AkBrew907]

I knew this short funny looking mofo in college with a general strategy like that. It worked surprisingly well. I don't condone the behavior, but I'll be damned if it didn't work . . .

Don't condone it either but I'll be dammed if the phrase "treat a girl like dirt and she will stick like mud" doesn't ring true.

Eventually the women mature with age and move past this but I was shocked in my younger years how well this worked for people

 

[Mismost]

After numerous girlfriends, live in's, and 3 wives...I found that what you DON'T SAY is actually just as important as what you do say....maybe more so!

Now, when the women hit menopause (I call it man-o-pause)....it doesn't matter what you say, or don't say....just hope you can walk away alive! life gets real interesting, real fast, logic does not apply.

 

[NickTheGreat]

Don't condone it either but I'll be dammed if the phrase "treat a girl like dirt and she will stick like mud" doesn't ring true.

Eventually the women mature with age and move past this but I was shocked in my younger years how well this worked for people

He was actually the first person I heard use that phrase! :smack:

 

[Venari]

After numerous girlfriends, live in's, and 3 wives...

I'd like to know how you didn't learn how bad marriage was after the FIRST one!

 

[Rhumbline]

I'd like to know how you didn't learn how bad marriage was after the FIRST one!

It might have something to do with the fact that he thought they were logical and rational up to menopause.

 

[PlexVector]

They can get very competitive in a group setting, so be careful! I'm just saying...

 

[Mismost]

It might have something to do with the fact that he thought they were logical and rational up to menopause.

Nawww...just stupid and horny..no excuses...just love women. The worst one I ever had was twice as much fun as you guys!!

 

[Stealthcruiser]

The Wife wanted a new watch, and I told her she didn't need one, 'cause there's a clock on back of the stove..............

 

[Venari]

Nawww...just stupid and horny..no excuses...just love women. The worst one I ever had was twice as much fun as you guys!!

For me, the worst was bipolar.

Freak on the streets AND in the sheets, so it was lose/win.

 

[MaxStout]

For me, the worst was bipolar.

Freak on the streets AND in the sheets, so it was lose/win.

 

[sfgoat]

I've got a similar thing but it's the exact opposite.

I have no idea what's going on until the wife tells me... and then I'm all,

"Oh... yes... of course I remember that.

Also, is my laundry done?"

I have something similar with this.

My wife always has her phone on silent so she never answers it. I secretly changed her voicemail to say to call my number in the event that its important and my wife doesn't answer. But I always ask her, "why do I even pay for your phone" to which I get the response "why do I even put out for you". So naturally I drop it every time.

 

[drainbamage]

I have something similar with this.

My wife always has her phone on silent so she never answers it. I secretly changed her voicemail to say to call my number in the event that its important and my wife doesn't answer. But I always ask her, "why do I even pay for your phone" to which I get the response "why do I even put out for you". So naturally I drop it every time.

Proper response to her (for this thread): "You don't."

Of course, that may become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Use at your own risk.

 

[GuldTuborg]

Proper response to her (for this thread): "You don't."

Of course, that may become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Use at your own risk.

It's bound to happen eventually. May as well have a few laughs before it does.

 

[fj605]

When my wife was pregnant, I jokingly referred to her due date as "calving season."

That's how the fight started....

 

[sfgoat]

It's bound to happen eventually. May as well have a few laughs before it does.

We're going on 10 years now and doing pretty well in that department. Not as much as before we were married of course but according to everyone else I talk to about it we must be doing pretty darn good. Best not to ruin it.

 

[Melana]

when my wife was pregnant, i jokingly referred to her due date as "calving season."

that's how the fight started....

lol!!!

 

[SupervisingChildren]

When my wife was pregnant, I jokingly referred to her due date as "calving season."

That's how the fight started....

My fiancee said she felt like a moose when she was pregnant with our first born. I told her "It's ok, 'cus you're a momma moose." I got the look of death and didn't know why at the time...