Random Drunken Thoughts Thread

[Qhrumphf]

A true American hero.

 

[day_trippr]

The aliens have landed

 

[arturo7]

In what way? Squishy? Tasty? Coated in mayonnaise?



No, none of those things. Maybe tasty. Definitely not coated in mayonnaise. I hate mayonnaise. I make my potato salad with mustard and sour cream. And in my part of the world it's called tater salad.

Try making it German style with apple vinegar, a little brown sugar and !!
Bacon!

 

[ubnserved]

Mmmmmmm....Kartoffelsalat.

How exactly does one pick a peck of pickled peppers?

I personally would like to see the pickled pepper plant!

 

[ubnserved]

I should get my eyebrows laser removed, and instead get sub-dermal piercings to look like ridged lizard eyes.

And then I should pretend I was born like that and threaten to sue anyone who bad mouths it...

This is a good plan.

Uhmmmmm. Maybe have another home brew instead.

 

[drainbamage]

Try making it German style with apple vinegar, a little brown sugar and !!
Bacon!

That's my favorite too, not a big mayo fan here either. Plus, bacon.
No-brainer. :fro:

Mmmmmmm....Kartoffelsalat.

How exactly does one pick a peck of pickled peppers?

Duh, you pull up the whole plant and pickle it, then pick the pickled peppers. But is that a metric peck or an English peck?

 

[Fedora]

That's my favorite too, not a big mayo fan here either. Plus, bacon.
No-brainer. :fro:




Duh, you pull up the whole plant and pickle it, then pick the pickled peppers. But is that a metric peck or an English peck?

It's an American peck. Thats just enough to fill a hole in the ground.

 

[smagic14]

Why is it acceptable to pick your ear 👂 wax out in public but you can't pick your nose? 👃

 

[Qhrumphf]

I think I'm going to start going by metric time instead of imperial time. But not everything else. That stays in imperial measurements.

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

****s must have telepathic properties. Otherwise, my brain would not be able to see them right now.

 

[ubnserved]

That's my favorite too, not a big mayo fan here either. Plus, bacon.
No-brainer. :fro:




Duh, you pull up the whole plant and pickle it, then pick the pickled peppers. But is that a metric peck or an English peck?

Or is it just a grandma peck on the cheek?

 

[Dan]

Why do squirrels run in the road right behind their friend that just got run over and do they mourn for their flattened friend?

I've been that car driver. Squashed that squirrel and looked in my rear view as his mate mourned him. I felt like ****e. Stupid squirrel!

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Actually, yes. I do have a cousin that I would call a CILF.

Hold on, I have two of them!


Come to think on it, I don't have to be too drunk either.

 

[drainbamage]

Or is it just a grandma peck on the cheek?

Metric grandmas, probably.

 

[Fedora]

Actually, yes. I do have a cousin that I would call a CILF.

Hold on, I have two of them!


Come to think on it, I don't have to be too drunk either.

When I was a teenager I slept with my first " serious" girlfriend for a year before we found out we were cousins. Something like ninth cousins. Didn't slow us down a bit.

 

[Fedora]

Oh I see how it is. It's ok to TALK about f*****g your cousin, but when I admit to actually doing it, albeit unknowingly ( at first) then everybody clams up. Talk about your awkward silence....

I'm just kidding. Bout to chill a batch of my Best Bitter. Ya'll like my new jacket? It's green. Almost the color of money. Coincidence? Hmmm...

I need a better avatar. It's a picture of a growler from work. Kinda lame. I'm open to suggestions.

 

[sloanfamilydsm]

Oh I see how it is. It's ok to TALK about f*****g your cousin, but when I admit to actually doing it, albeit unknowingly ( at first) then everybody clams up. Talk about your awkward silence....

I'm just kidding. Bout to chill a batch of my Best Bitter. Ya'll like my new jacket? It's green. Almost the color of money. Coincidence? Hmmm...

I need a better avatar. It's a picture of a growler from work. Kinda lame. I'm open to suggestions.

New avatar-how bout a pic of the state of Arkansas?

 

[MaxStout]

Oh I see how it is. It's ok to TALK about f*****g your cousin, but when I admit to actually doing it, albeit unknowingly ( at first) then everybody clams up. Talk about your awkward silence....

For some reason, that made me think of this old joke....

A man goes into a pub in a small town and, for whatever reason, gets introduced to the clientele.

“See this pub?” asks John, "I built it, but they don’t call me Pubbuilder John? I’m the local doctor, I saved Barman Jim’s life once when he choked on a peanut, but they don’t call me Lifesaver John. Every year, I supply a huge Christmas tree for the village green, but the don’t call me Christmas Tree John.

“But you shag one lousy sheep…”

 

[Fedora]

Ba hahaha! I'm assuming you don't know know that I actually live in the great state of Arkansas. I hope not anyway. That makes it funnier. Not a bad avatar idea. If I use it you'll have an open invitation for a free beer with me and my cousin. Oh wait, she's in prison now... I feel like I'm perpetuating stereotypes here. Arkansas fvckin rocks.

 

[Qhrumphf]

If you repeatedly scratch your arms to the point where there's substantial blood, does that mean it's time to lose the meth, or lose the fingers? I can't make up my mind.

 

[Fedora]

If you repeatedly scratch your arms to the point where there's substantial blood, does that mean it's time to lose the meth, or lose the fingers? I can't make up my mind.

Well it'll be hard to do any more meth without fingers so I guess that will solve both problems. Of course it will be hard to brush your teeth without fingers too, so they might rot. But that was gonna happen anyway. Quite a conundrum.

 

[Fedora]

For some reason, that made me think of this old joke....

A man goes into a pub in a small town and, for whatever reason, gets introduced to the clientele.

“See this pub?” asks John, "I built it, but they don’t call me Pubbuilder John? I’m the local doctor, I saved Barman Jim’s life once when he choked on a peanut, but they don’t call me Lifesaver John. Every year, I supply a huge Christmas tree for the village green, but the don’t call me Christmas Tree John.

“But you shag one lousy sheep…”

Sheep Shagger Fedora.
Cousin F***er Fedora
Ass Whole

All of those are ok with me. Just dont call me Late For Dinner. Or Happy Hour.

 

[Qhrumphf]

If a tree falls in the forest and no one's around and it lands on a mime, does anyone care?

 

[arturo7]

The good thing about having a kegerator:

Often with a kegerator, you will fill up your glass before it is empty. In theory, you never actually finish a beer. Ergo, you never start on a second beer. Thus, at the end of a session you can honestly say, "I've only had one beer."

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

I need a better avatar. It's a picture of a growler from work. Kinda lame. I'm open to suggestions.

A sexy pic of your cousin, please.

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

If a tree falls in the forest and no one's around and it lands on a mime, does anyone care?

It always annoys me (unnecessarily) when Americans misuse the word pantomime thinking it means a mime. I don't even need to be drunk for that thought though. oops!

 

[Qhrumphf]

It always annoys me (unnecessarily) when Americans misuse the word pantomime thinking it means a mime. I don't even need to be drunk for that thought though. oops!

Thanks. I had managed to suppress the horror for 20 years and you brought it all back. I forgot those things existed.

 

[Billy-Klubb]

Thanks. I had managed to suppress the horror for 20 years and you brought it all back. I forgot those things existed.

first off, bwahahahhahahaha!!!! may a mime cross your path in two days time!



"I hope everyone can smell that. In fact, if no one mentions it in the next three minutes I'm gonna throw this bottle across the bar, upturn the table, and go s#!t in the corner."

 

[Fedora]

A sexy pic of your cousin, please.

Meh. She wasn't really a CILF. Just a CIF.

I changed it to a picture of my SABCO system at work. Still open to suggestions. Middle of the boil on a hoppy American Amber at home right now. Not drunk, but I might head that way later.

 

[Fedora]

first off, bwahahahhahahaha!!!! may a mime cross your path in two days time!



"I hope everyone can smell that. In fact, if no one mentions it in the next three minutes I'm gonna throw this bottle across the bar, upturn the table, and go s#!t in the corner."

Dayumm Billy why ya always gotta be stinkin up the thread. You should see a doctor or something.