Random Drunken Thoughts Thread

[ubnserved]

When my wife's all black kitty takes off its collar is it begging me to step on its little toes again? And when I do why does it scream at me?
SWMBO put the collar on her so I can see it and hear it and it just insists on taking it off every few days. The problem is not so much that she takes it off but now she hides it and I have not been able to find it right away the last two times she has.

 

[gratus fermentatio]

Why in the Sam-hell are these so-called "reality" shows so damned popular?
And why are the cherry yogurt containers always sticky? The blueberry isn't, the vanilla isn't, but the cherry is always sticky.

 

[hunter_le five]

And why are the cherry yogurt containers always sticky? The blueberry isn't, the vanilla isn't, but the cherry is always sticky.

It's the cough-syrup they use for the cherry flavoring. It gets very sticky when chilled.

 

[harleybug88]

Why do we get songs stuck in our heads? And why are they usually songs we hate?

I had Michael Jackson's "Thriller" stuck the other day.

Or is it just me???

 

[ubnserved]

Thanks now I have, cause this is thriller, thriller .....
Stuck in my head.:cross:

 

[day_trippr]

Even without a nice buzz, "The Blues Brothers" movie still has legs after all these years.

The cop chase through Chicago is gawdamned hilarious.

Cheers!

 

[gratus fermentatio]

"We're on a mission from God."

 

[BreezyBrew]

A male donkey is also called a Jack.

 

[harleybug88]

If a keg of beer was in the middle of a forest and no one was around to hear it. Who would drink it?

 

[sloanfamilydsm]

If I rode a moped into the woods & nailed a fat chick, would the furry forest creatures laugh at me?

 

[harleybug88]

If I rode a moped into the woods & nailed a fat chick, would the furry forest creatures laugh at me?

Yes they would!

For one thing, you ride a moped and your with a fat chick.

 

[day_trippr]

The only thing worse than thinking there's something dead in a plenum is actually finding something dead in said plenum.

Good gawd that was friggin' awful.

Hopefully a few pints of this here wicked pissah hoppy brew will drive that aroma out of my brain pan...

Cheers!

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

How come I'm only old on the outside?

 

[AnOldUR]

How come I'm old whether I'm inside or outside?

 

[Billy-Klubb]

how come the cold weather is getting old whether I'm inside or outside?

 

[drainbamage]

Do I like salted cashews, or just cashew-flavored salt?

 

[AnOldUR]

Eating wasabi almonds the other night. Finished the almonds, but sticking a wet finger in the stuff left in the bag was just as good.


So, the answer is yes!

 

[gratus fermentatio]

It takes many hours of labor to be able to afford labor-saving devices.

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Why do I think that even numbers are good, but odd numbers are inherently evil?

 

[DrunkleJon]

Why do I think that even numbers are good, but odd numbers are inherently evil?

What about 7. Isn't 7 supposed to be good? And 6 evil?

 

[Fedora]

Why do I think that even numbers are good, but odd numbers are inherently evil?

My wife, while sane for the most part, has a compulsion about the volume on the Tv or stereo being set on an even number. She has no explanation. Just the way she is. I don't mind stopping on an even number. Hell I'd even stop on multiples of five if it means I get some grilled cheese once in a while. Speaking of which...

 

[ubnserved]

Mmmmmmm......grilled cheese

 

[BreezyBrew]

A beer rarely has its best day when you drink it. You rarely have a best day when you drink the beer. When that beer on that day has a good day, there is nothing better.

 

[Fedora]

Well said, my friend.

 

[Fedora]

And now, for the word of the day...

Turducken.

 

[BreezyBrew]

Bliberboobies!

 

[harleybug88]

I see, said the blind man as he picked up his hammer and saw.

 

[MaxStout]

My wife, while sane for the most part, has a compulsion about the volume on the Tv or stereo being set on an even number. She has no explanation. Just the way she is. I don't mind stopping on an even number. Hell I'd even stop on multiples of five if it means I get some grilled cheese once in a while. Speaking of which...

Has no problems with odd numbers.

 

[DrunkleJon]

When and Why the hell did they change the green Skittles from lime to apple? If I wanted to taste acetaldehyde I would drink copious quantities of green beer, not candies

 

[Ridire]

Here's a doozy: you ever watch "It's the Great Pumpin, Charlie Brown"? It came out in 1966. That is 48 years ago. In that special, Snoopy is a WWI flying ace. In 1966, the end of WWI was only 47 years in the past. That means that WWI was more recent to the folks who made Great Pumpkin than Great Pumpkin is to us.

Chew on that crazy sh! £.

 

[Ridire]

My wife, while sane for the most part, has a compulsion about the volume on the Tv or stereo being set on an even number. She has no explanation. Just the way she is. I don't mind stopping on an even number. Hell I'd even stop on multiples of five if it means I get some grilled cheese once in a while. Speaking of which...

I share your wife's infirmity. Even worse, I work with finances and I'll spend a ridiculous amount of time making sure that the column widths in an Excel spreadsheet are all equal, and all "logical" (I can deal with x.25 but not x.27), even if I'm the only one who will ever see said spreadsheet.

 

[BreezyBrew]

Why do I think that even numbers are good, but odd numbers are inherently evil?

And why is the phrase "inherently" evil? Where did they inherent their evilness from?

 

[GrogNerd]

mine goes to 20

 

[Fedora]

Um good night

 

[Fedora]

Darts is generally a game that's played in bars, while drinking. Why did they include so much damn math? Math is hard when you're drunk.

 

[OpenSights]

Beans, beans, the magical fruit; the more you eat, the more you toot, the more you toot, the better you feel, so let’s have beans for every meal!

I can tell you first hand, beans ain’t got sh*t on a sour!

 

[Robert65]

I just spent the whole day wearing clothes. I mean as opposed to pajamas. Damn, we used to actually do this? Every day? F***ing weird, man.

 

[day_trippr]

I confess, lately I don't shed the sweats until noon...

 

[Sailingeric]

I confess, lately I don't shed the sweats until noon...

On the same t shirt for 3 days, it might go for day 4, the dog does not care.

 

[Robert65]

On the same t shirt for 3 days, it might go for day 4, the dog does not care.

Notice when what should be laundry day rolls around, and you look at the hamper and say, hmm, not really that much, guess it can go another week? Yeah, should probably feel a little more ashamed but don't.