Opinionated People

[McGee3]

So whats everybody's opinions on successful relationships? Always ****y in the end, better off staying single.... or worth the struggle and grieving of trying to find "the one", your significant other.
Lets hear some stories.

 

[passedpawn]

Get a good dog. Best relationship you'll ever have. Cheers.

 

[twilbrew247]

Brew beer. It'll never let you down.

 

[McGee3]

Haa im beginning to think so to. A dog, a keg, ad my brothers.
But ya always get that feelin in the end, after all the extra stuff, that, " okay lets settle down now, find me a good gal" ya know.

 

[Subsailor]

My wife and I have been together for over 12 years. We talk over everything and support each others hobbies, even encourage them to grow. We have not had any problems that we cannot overcome together and genuinely like each other. We treat each other respectfully and this is how we treat all others, our kids (now grown - I married into the family) said this is why ours was the 'go to' house because we treated their friends as people also, with respect and honor.

I believe it is worth it. I wasn't looking for anyone and anticipated pretty much being single for my life but we hit it off and continue to do so.

 

[E-Mursed]

Get a good dog. Best relationship you'll ever have. Cheers.

You will still be spending lots of your time picking up someones sh*t....

 

[McGee3]

I can dig that, i havnt been married, im a young buck,i dont plan on getting married, but i do plan on finding another one, worth while. I dot want to marrie because i dont want my hunny and i to get that feeling of 'okay, were settled, intense love emotiona over' kinda thing. I want to remain close, and staying unmarried would seem to help that.

 

[bigbeergeek]

I want to remain close, and staying unmarried would seem to help that.

Sounds like you don't understand the female mind very well. Not committing to a lifelong relationship usually distances you from the lady, not the other way around. I'm not saying everyone should get hitched, I'm just saying I think you've got it wrong.

 

[McGee3]

I see, i didn't think of it that way. But i think it depends more so on the lady. if i found a woman with the same view point a me, it could be different, but thats a good point.

 

[day_trippr]

Everyone should get married...twice. At least.

First one should be short, and definitely sans offspring. Go a year or two to get your feet wet with the whole marriage thing, then have an amicable split.

Now, with your marital education in hand, you can go about the whole process with enlightenment, instead of stumbling around in the dark like that first marriage.


My first marriage lasted for three pretty good years, actually, but there was a major philosophical difference between us that eventually would have caused serious problems with the passage of time, so we did the amicable breakup thing.

My current wife was married for just a couple of years before a way, WAY bigger problem than anything I ever dealt with turned up. Their breakup had a bit more drama but was more amicable than not.

We've been married for 36 years. And we're still very much in love.

Cheers!

 

[Erroneous]

I don't think marriage is for everyone and certainly isn't for everyone right now. It requires putting someone else's needs first pretty much all the time. Not everyone is ready for that and not everyone understands exactly what it means. Some people are better off without a partner. I've been in a relationship with my wife for 8 years and been married for 4.

 

[McGee3]

Still very much in love??
That is what im looking for in the long run. When all is said and done, a good relationship.

 

[Erroneous]

We still are very much in love. Of course we have similar interests to talk about and do which always helps.

 

[Homercidal]

Too many people today are not interested in doing what it takes to have a good marriage. They don't want to make sacrifices. They don't want to try and see the other's viewpoint, or try and understand how they feel in any given situation.

Plus there is way too much competition for attention and way too much temptation. Most people can't handle being cheated on very well...

I would not say that having a successful marriage is difficult. I would say that too many people today don't understand, or are unwilling to do what it takes to make both people happy.

 

[Chap]

Been married 23 years last June, been together over 25. Met in high school our senior year. She has stuck with me through 25 years of Marine Corps bull****. It ain't easy being married, there are a lot of ups and downs but the ups are awesome and the downs can be overcome with a little work. I wouldn't change a thing about our relationship!

 

[bottlebomber]

Bottom line, if you're a little punk ass kid then don't get married. If you're a real man, and are able to take care of a lady and put her needs first, and the needs of the children that will come, then you shouldn't even need to ask the question.

 

[Punity]

Bottom line, if you're a little punk ass kid then don't get married. If you're a real man, and are able to take care of a lady and put her needs first, and the needs of the children that will come, then you shouldn't even need to ask the question.

Boom winner no punk ass kids allowed this is a mans job.

 

[afr0byte]

Bottom line, if you're a little punk ass kid then don't get married. If you're a real man, and are able to take care of a lady and put her needs first, and the needs of the children that will come, then you shouldn't even need to ask the question.

I agree with putting the kid's needs first, but putting her needs first? I don't agree with that. I'd agree with putting our needs as a couple first, such as buying a house instead of toys for me.

 

[TyTanium]

I agree with putting the kid's needs first, but putting her needs first? I don't agree with that.

No way dude. My role as a husband is to serve my wife. Period.

OP -
Feelings are fickle; that's why love, and marriage, is a commitment. Marriage isn't easy; it's ridiculously hard. But it's worth it. 100% worth it.

FWIW, my grandparents just celebrated their 55th wedding anniversary and say they're more in love now than the day they got married. And that it just keeps getting better.

 

[Punity]

I think putting her needs first is the wrong wording. It should be you knowing that your needs are not the only ones that matter anymore alot of my friends fail to realize this and i am forever hearing about how they just have a bitchy wife yet i never see them actually treat their wife like she even matters

 

[ChandlerBang]

Get a good dog. Best relationship you'll ever have. Cheers.

And some peanut butter.

 

[bottlebomber]

I agree with putting the kid's needs first, but putting her needs first? I don't agree with that. I'd agree with putting our needs as a couple first, such as buying a house instead of toys for me.

You don't have to agree with it. I wasn't trying to cause a debate, I am just stating what I feel to be obvious fact - that when you consider the needs of your mate in a marriage, and put these needs before your own, it builds a stronger relationship. However it only works if the other partner is doing the same. I've seen this first hand when contrasting my last marriage, where I gave 100% and my wife gave 20, and the one I'm in now where we are both giving 110%. And that goes for life in general. We all should be trying to give more in life than we take from it.

 

[Yooper]

A great marriage is an amazing thing, and a great way to go through life. My partner, my lover, my best friend, my companion and activity partner- all rolled into one.

A bad marriage is hell, though.

If you really aren't inclined to put the effort into the first, you will have the second. And I'd rather be alone forever than in a bad marriage.

 

[McGee3]

I agree with homercidal, that is very true, iv been able to hold relationships, i like having somebody there, but my problem is being attracted to the wrong ladys, ones that cheat and such.
Thats what tares things up. So im thinking a dating site maybe, one that pares me up with the right kinda chick.

 

[McGee3]

I think a good relationship is possible, but like homercidal basically said, it takes the right kind of people to have a good relationship, which are apparently harder to find now days.

 

[bottlebomber]

I agree with homercidal, that is very true, iv been able to hold relationships, i like having somebody there, but my problem is being attracted to the wrong ladys, ones that cheat and such.
Thats what tares things up. So im thinking a dating site maybe, one that pares me up with the right kinda chick.

I fully sympathize. I spent most of my post-pubescent life attracted to girls that were "projects". They needed me, they were exciting(chaotic I realize now)... they needed stability. That's what I tried to provide, since I've mostly been on a pretty even keel.

The chemistry with these kind of ladies was always amazing in the short term, but the thing that kept happening was that the relationship would go a few months before the woman would find some way to create chaos. I was lucky if she cheated her way out of it. One girl I dated imagined I was having a fling with a very good lifelong friend and she went to her house, waited for her to come home, and held a knife to her throat. Fortunately I was able to salvage the friendship. Unfortunately I ended up marrying one of these types, and it was an 8 year long saga of punishment. I did earn 3 amazing boys out of the deal though. They haven't seen their mother in over a year, and call my new wife "mom". Nobody put them up to it either. They're handsome little devils too, just like their old man I would relive every second of that marriage for these guys.

 

[passedpawn]

Nice looking clan there BB. I'm sure they'll grow to be great men. No worries.

 

[afr0byte]

I think putting her needs first is the wrong wording. It should be you knowing that your needs are not the only ones that matter anymore alot of my friends fail to realize this and i am forever hearing about how they just have a bitchy wife yet i never see them actually treat their wife like she even matters

Yeah, exactly, that was my point. A marriage should be about mutual respect, where each person's needs matter equally. No one serves the other.

 

[Yooper]

Oh my gosh- they're so cute. If you ever tire of them, I'll give you my address and you can send them to me. I'm a sucker for a smart guy with an impish grin- and they all definitely have that.

My brother in law is also attracted to poor choices- but he has a great time for a few weeks and then the "crazy" sets in. And he's hurt, angry, broke, etc, until the next time.

This is going to sound very judgemental, but I promise it's not! Sometimes, what we think we're looking for is so superficial and we get chemistry and lust confused with "real" people.

Let's face it- you can be attracted to a lot of non-appropriate people. And having a relationship with a drama queen (male or female) or a needy person is not really going to last long term.

In order to really be ready for a long-term relationship, you have to be totally happy alone, as a single person. Then you are ready for a relationship.

No one can "fix" anybody else, make them happy, give them a reason to live, or whatever is lacking in their lives.

So, seriously, if you want to get married someday- spend a lot of time alone. Figure out who you are, what makes you tick, what makes you mad, and what makes you happy. Live alone, have hobbies, friends, and a social life. THEN you may be ready for a relationship.

 

[bottlebomber]

Nice looking clan there BB. I'm sure they'll grow to be great men. No worries.

Thank you! I'm doing my best. Packing logs helps them from being sissies at least