Oh yeah forgot about the bad news.. It involves the cube but I think I have to start at the beginning..
When I bought him it was the happiest plastic storage bin in the world (think third world orphan meets Angelina Jolie) instead of facing a lifetime of holding dirty dog pooped shoes or old toys or whatever it realized it was going to hold beer. And not just hold beer but mold it and contribute to its flavor. When that wort hit the bottom and splashed on the sides it was in heaven. But then I pitched the yeast and I think he immediately thought something was wrong. Is..is this Windsor?? It should be Notty, you told me you use Notty! Then it didn't attenuate and he got a bad feeling "will I be blamed for this? It was the yeast! It was the recipe!" The buckets and Carboy just laughed. Then I racked into a keg and I think he screamed "NOOO pitch another yeast in me I can fix this" but it was too late. And now the experiment failed. I tried to reassure ill do it again but with each passing day I sense anger in my basement. You see it wasn't just that but other sterilite containers had their hopes on him that if this worked they too would be repurposed for fermentation, that may not happen now. And now I think he knows, knows that I'll be brewing again soon and probably won't use him. He's angry I think he wants vengeance. I'm scared. I plead with you if I stop posting and there is a story about a mysterious basement death find him and destroy him!! You'll know it's him by the spigot and the grommeted lid I fear he won't stop unless he is melted down, chopped up, encased in concrete, and thrown in the deepest ocean.
If this is my last post happy fermenting don't make the same mistakes I did. I have to go I hear rustling downstairs I think he knoooooooo
Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew