Old Timer Sayings

[hoppybrewster]

Lets list some old sayings we've heard from our old timers whether we understood them or not.

My dad always told me "You're pi$$ing up a rope"!

 

[Zuljin]

"Goddamnittohell!"
"Ain't got a pot to piss in."
"Went to **** and the hogs got him."
"Buster crab"

 

[JDGator]

my dad being a mechanic and myself being a mechanic, my dad would always say "don't stick your finger where you wouldn't stick your c***!!

 

[Rockn_M]

my dad being a mechanic and myself being a mechanic, my dad would always say "don't stick your finger where you wouldn't stick your c***!!

Mechanic or not, that's just good thinking!

 

[littletommy]

Useless as tits on a boar hog

Or referring to having sex as "getting some mouse ear"??????

I used to work with an old guy who would say those two all the time.

 

[dschoemaker]

Were you born in a barn
Walk up hill both ways to school
I brought you into this world, and I can take you out (my personal favorite)

Dave

 

[JDGator]

referring to a bald guy- "no need to shingle the barn when nothings inside"

 

[JDGator]

my friends grandpa would say "i would sooner F*** then eat and always be hungry."

during the fall hunting season a friend would always say "smells like Sadie's rotten crotch" cuz of the dying leaves and stuff.

i have more crude lines but doubt HBT would want them since some are a little racist.

 

[MatterOne]

I'm not sure how common this is, but I like "Ehna", roughly translating to "isn't it"?

 

[Weezy]

"Honest to Pete!" (when you might otherwise say sh*t! after spilling dinner on the floor, etc.)

My grandfather always said, when we finished a tile job when I was a kid: "Good enough for women we date."

 

[beaksnbeer]

"Goddamnittohell!"
"Ain't got a pot to piss in."
"Went to **** and the hogs got him."
"Buster crab"

Ain't got a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out.
Can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.
Bit the green weenie.
He'd f*** a bowling ball.
So lazy he married a pregnant girl.

 

[lowtones84]

So lazy he married a pregnant girl.

Now -that's- hilarious!

"Colder than a well-digger's ass in the Klondike."

 

[biddyk]

My favorites:

Older lawnmower mechanic speaking about a mutual coworker, "That boy don't know s*%t from apple butter. Don't want to neither."

As a pain in the butt (& wallet) teenager, my exasperated father once told me.

"I'm gonna tell it to you like my dad told me. 'Son, I can't make you do anything, but I can sure as hell make you wish you woulda'."

 

[Zuljin]

"Just cause his mouth open and close don't make it a prayer book."
Don't believe everything someone says.

"He can sure put away some groceries."
"You must have a hollow leg."
Can eat a lot.

"Can't. Got a bone in my leg."
Bullcrap excuse.

"Yunt I'll carry ya over there."
Offer to drive you somewhere.

"Walking ain't crowded."
Not offering to drive you somewhere.

"You're about to find out."
About to learn something the hard way.

"Bet you didn't know that."
Just learned something the hard way.

 

[SharonaZamboni]

"Slicker'n snot on a doorknob."

"You look like the wreck of the Hesperus!"

 

[JDGator]

If shoes were clues, you'd be shoe less.

That dog has the patience of job. Dog sitting at the base of a tree waiting for a squirrel.

You have s*** for brains

 

[harrke]

"Son, you're ugly and you're not very bright so dress nice and don't talk; maybe no one will notice."

 

[ChefRex]

Get off my lawn!

 

[Zuljin]

"Since Hector was a pup."
"Held his breath three days waiting on God to create air."

 

[JDGator]

"Son, you're ugly and you're not very bright so dress nice and don't talk; maybe no one will notice."

I like that!! Lol

 

[JonM]

Paternal grandpa (We're of Scandanavian ancestry and live in Wisconsin.) (And I'm spelling this phonetically) "Aw, fer cry-yie!"

Old southern black co-worker - "She's uglier than homemade sin!"

 

[Gorms]

That's tighter than a bulls ass tied to a log chain.

 

[oneandahalfshepherds]

Referring to somone dim witted:

"Couldn't pour piss put of a boot if instructions were written on the bottom"

 

[JonM]

You dasn't do XY and Z.

If I'd had my druthers ...

 

[CidCitrus]

Useless as a pot of cold piss.

Colder than a witch's tit.

 

[Gorms]

Quit that crying or I'll give you something to cry about.

 

[Tinhorn]

This thread is hurting my sacroiliac

 

[Zuljin]

I've got underwear older than you.
I've been doing this longer than you've been doing anything.

 

[Tinhorn]

Hotter than a June bride !

Colder than a well diggers belt buckle!

Lower than a snakes butt in a wagon rut !

So old he farts dust!

 

[sloanfamilydsm]

My grandpa would say (while patting his gut) that "If you have a good tool you better build a shed for it."

The other favorite was "It's like sticking a noodle up a wildcats ass".