Neighbor Stole SWMBO's pain meds--call the cops?

[Boerderij_Kabouter]

This is really a sad situation. In my experience, people like that do not respond to group talks or interventions...

Sure they say all the right things at the time, and clean up for two maybe three weeks. But then they do something terrible again. If I were you I would play hard ball. When the kid next door is messed up but has the decency to respect you and your family, that's the time for talking and helping him. When the situation digresses to the point of stealing from your sick wife, case closed, put him away and keep him away.

Also, his parents and himself are not victims. They are failed parents with a delinquent living in their house. As a note, if my kids end up like that I will be the first to call the police. Life and actions have consequences, I don't know why people think otherwise.

 

[Bourdon]

A victim of a crime, or crime victim, is in criminology and criminal law, the identifiable person who has been harmed individually and directly by the perpetrator or defendant, rather than merely society as a whole.

A victim impact panel is a form of community-based or restorative justice in which the crime victims (or relatives and friends of deceased crime victims) meet with the defendant after conviction to tell the convict about how the criminal activity affected them, in the hope of rehabilitation or deterrence.

You are right. Legally they are not victims, but emotionally they are.

 

[brauhaus]

So here's the poll, would you have called the cops (SWMBO still wants to)?

EDIT: he's got a record already and his previous stints in jail have done nothing to "teach him a lesson."

EDIT 2: SWMBO was able to recover 55 of the 97 pills that were taken. We assume he sold the rest.

Obviously this guy has a real problem with addiction, and going to jail for a few days isn't going to cure him... he needs professional help and hopefully any judge will not only issue jail time for the stealing of a controlled substance but also make sure that he is going to get help to potentially better himself by kicking the addiction...

who knows, the guy might thank you one day.

 

[JVD_X]

Is that what you want, or do you want the problem to be fixed at its source? I believe that showing compassion and working to heal the wounds caused will be more effective in the long term, for both the convicted and the victims.

I totally disagree. Compassion without control is worthless. Kids these days see weakness in compassion, so you need to first demonstrate who is in control. A week in jail with some bread, water, and then maybe if his attitude is right he can get counseling and food.

 

[hoss75]

If something goes wrong with those meds and he gets sick or dies there could be a lawsuit coming your way. It sucks and its not fiar, but that's the way this country isnow. I say call the cops to protect your own ass.

 

[beerthirty]

Well the officer I spoke to said that I cannot submit a report without them arresting the neighbor. He also assured me that we cannot be arrested for selling the stolen drugs because someone said "we sold them," however, I don't put my faith in not being arrested under that scenario just because a cop told me so.

I guess it boils down to him or me (or SWMBO).

EDIT: I asked a former police officer I work with and he said I could file an information only report--so who the hell is right? Unfortunately the current officer's opinion is more relevant.

Definitely call the pharmacy. Without that pill bottle if she gets caught carrying the pills it is an arrestable offense. Even though they are prescribed to her it's against the law to carry scrip meds outside the original bottle. This law has reasons beyond proving ownership, but that is the main one. I'm not saying she would be arrested if caught carrying out of the bottle but she probably would be held until it was straightened out. After all it is considered a dangerous and addictive narcotic.

 

[akamatt]

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr
this is for the person that is an addict but we all can take something from it. If he is a close friend(or even if not) doing nothing will encourage further behavior and that not only hurts him but others

 

[BoxofRain]

I voted no. Talk to his family. Insist on an intervention and threaten to call the cops if not.

 

[Padstack31]

You mentioned earlier that being intimately involved in this situation is making this a more emotional/difficult decision. I'd argue that emotion clouds judgment and that you should consult with your close friends. People who know you, your family and the situation. People you trust and let them help you make this decision. My guess is that they will be better able to assist then members of this board (no offense guys). They will help you keep perspective by being both separate from the situation but intimately involved in as much as they are your friend. This is what friends are for, and for helping drink through all the great beer you brew.

With that said, I think by not calling you are allowing a crime to go unpunished. You are the victim and the cops will protect you. I have been in a similar situation before with a disgruntled employee and the system took care of it. I understand that you want to protect your family but I would suggest that you let the law system take the first crack. That is what your tax dollars pay for, what did your cop friend recommend?

 

[BeerNewbie]

You should have included a "Give him a cock punch" option. I woulda gone for that.

I'd go for this AND still call the cops. ;-)

 

[Flyin' Lion]

Obviously this guy has a real problem with addiction, and going to jail for a few days isn't going to cure him... he needs professional help and hopefully any judge will not only issue jail time for the stealing of a controlled substance but also make sure that he is going to get help to potentially better himself by kicking the addiction...

who knows, the guy might thank you one day.

This is what SWMBO and I are leaning to now. I have talked to a police officer and tried to reach a criminal defense lawyer (saturday ) to see what would eventually happen to him if we called the cops. Right now it seems like there would be no case (how do we prove he stole them?), but it just might be enough of a scare to get him to seek counseling--there's no way he will do that on his own.

Despite what he's done, I don't want a felony on his record, but I can't ignore the offense either.

 

[stevea1210]

No offense, but to me at least, you seem to have more compasion for the dirt bag then your own wife.

I realize you have your family's well being at heart, but you are going against your wifes wishes to protect someone who commited a crime against her. That doesn't seem to jive with me.

I feel that not doing something about it this time, will cause there to be a next time. It CANNOT happen that he does this again. Filing charges and a restraining order are definitely the path I would suggest.

 

[friarjohn]

Give him the option of checking himself into treatment or call the cops...he needs help...drug addiction is a problem for this guy. maybe this will help him get help..

 

[scinerd3000]

Give him the option of checking himself into treatment or call the cops...he needs help...drug addiction is a problem for this guy. maybe this will help him get help..

good call. Then again i would have to suggest not letting him in your house ever again

 

[BoxofRain]

Give him the option of checking himself into treatment or call the cops...he needs help...drug addiction is a problem for this guy. maybe this will help him get help..

Finally another voice of reason.

 

[ChshreCat]

I'm all for people getting help. But if you come in my home and steal from me, calling the cops is the least I can do.

 

[Demon]

A few years back a close "friend" robbed my house while I was asleep, as soon as I woke up and realized what happened the first call I made was to the police. Not because I wanted him to get help, but because he stole from me and did not want this happening to other people.

In a situation like this, the last thing I would want is a drug addict thinking he got away with stealing something from me.

 

[enderwig]

Since SWMBO is down about half her prescription, what type of questions pop up when she has to refill early?

This was the first thing that I thought of when I read the post. I would call the cops, without hesitation.

 

[Orfy]

It's all been said.

Report it to the cops, don't press charges. Keep him away.
Tell his family what he did.

 

[seanhagerty]

you know...this isnt about you and your wife any more. This is about the folks that can get hurt by these pills being out there.

PLUS. are you sure the ones he gave you back are the right things? I wouldn't take them.

 

[budbo]

What about the pill bottle? He did not return it and although a narcotic cannot be refilled without doctor approval, do we need to call the pharmacy (which would lead to calling the cops, I assume)?

Any way you look at it you will be needing to explain to the Doctor, the Pharmacy and your medical insurance why you need the early refill. Many insurance companies will want a police report or they will tag you for the cost of the refill.

 

[Baldy_Beer_Brewery]

IMHO, this poll should have been "Should we have called the cops" not "Should we". And the overwhelming answer should have been yes.

My interests would have been in getting my wife's needed medication back instead of worrying if some loser would do something irrational.

 

[Malticulous]

You have to protect your family--the police wont. Generally the police do what they want with their authority and generally that's not paperwork. I'm not saying to ever take the law in your own hands, but just to do what you think is best.

 

[Flyin' Lion]

My interests would have been in getting my wife's needed medication back instead of worrying if some loser would do something irrational.

I'm wondering at this point if people are even reading through the entire thread before posting. We recovered most of the pills almost immediately as well as the bottle the following day. After discussing this with my wife over the past few days, and seeing no sign of contrition, we have decided to call the cops because he cannot go on thinking that this is acceptable behavior (and clearly he does, I see that now).

This thread served a purpose, and that purpose was to help me see whether or not my judgement was clouded--at this point I see that it was.

EDIT: to say thanks to everyone for setting me straight, its a tough decision for me (maybe not for others), but sometimes tough decisions have to be made.

Mods, you can lock it now if its been beaten to death--I got my answer.

 

[Yuri_Rage]

Locked at the OP's request.