Neighbor Stole SWMBO's pain meds--call the cops?

[Flyin' Lion]

I think that I would call the cops. He now knows what drugs are available in the house, and where they're located. Of course I wouldn't let him in the house again, but what if he "lets himself in" when you're not home?

See this is something I hadn't thought of. I am torn on this decision because I'm mostly looking to protect my family. Is that better served by letting it go or calling the cops.

We did get (most of) the pills back. He nor any of his family is allowed on our property again, ever! And remember, this is someone we thought could be somewhat trusted, not just a complete stranger.

 

[olllllo]

You need to get your version of the events on the record. Tomorrow this guy gets picked up with some pills and he flips and says your wife sold them to you.

 

[Fingers]

I said no because you've already confronted him and got a confession. He's barred from the home but you should keep those pills locked up. Warn him that if it happens a second time you will call the police. If he was a friend as you say, you can at least deal with this one yourself.

Hope your wife gets better soon.

 

[mmb]

You need to get your version of the events on the record. Tomorrow this guy gets picked up with some pills and he flips and says your wife sold them to you.

Exactly

When you're that far gone to steal from "friends" how much easier is it to lie to protect yourself?

 

[Flyin' Lion]

You need to get your version of the events on the record. Tomorrow this guy gets picked up with some pills and he flips and says your wife sold them to you.

Once again olllllo, your wisdom is undeniable. I guess its time to call SWMBO...

 

[TxBrew]

I'd at least file a Police report and opt not to press charges. Just to have something on record encase he does something in the future like break into your home while your gone.

 

[NWernBrewer]

Make a police report - he has the pill bottle with your wife's info on it. It would go a long way toward protecting your family and getting a new prescription when what is left runs out.

+1 - on not filing charges if you want to keep resentment down with your neighbor. They will likely release him within days or even hours.

 

[JMD87]

You need to get your version of the events on the record. Tomorrow this guy gets picked up with some pills and he flips and says your wife sold them to you.

Bingo. I made sure I read through the posts to see if someone said this. Bottom line if he gets pulled over for speeding, and see's that bottle, guess who's in trouble. If you have it on record that he stole the pills, then you're golden.

 

[JVD_X]

The title pretty much says it all. Last night my wife noticed her (100 count) bottle of Oxycodone was gone. She immediately jumped to the conclusion that our dirtbag neighbor, who steals pain meds from his grandfather and was in our house at least three times this week, stole them. She called him at 11:00 PM last night and after going all "Jersey" on him, he fessed up. She wanted to call the cops, I said no.

My mother had the neighbor kid break into her house and steal medication as well. He ended up shooting himself in the head and that took care of that on-going issue. Point-being - I think you definitely need to call the cops because people like that tend to escalate. It won't stop at stealing some pills.

 

[monty73741]

obvious he is an addict jail might be the wake up call for him. I used to be a chef so like 1/2 my friends are in AA or NA. You need to hit bottom before u can get help

 

[Bourdon]

What I would suggest is get everyone together who is affected by his actions (your family and his and a moderator) and have an open discussion (one person at a time) and try and talk through this. Do this several times. Everyone should talk AND listen. You may realize that something like this can be worked through by dialog.

Our justice system will just churn him through again, creating more pain on him and his family. Is that what you want, or do you want the problem to be fixed at its source? I believe that showing compassion and working to heal the wounds caused will be more effective in the long term, for both the convicted and the victims.

 

[cubbies]

I voted yes, call the cops, but maybe not necessarily to press charges. First of all:

He owes you money. Whatever a new bottle of pills cost, plus the gas to drive to the pharmacy, plus your time. That is what he owes you IMO. If he feels that is too much, then call the police and press charges.

Should he make good on paying you back, I would still call the police, but just to report it. You dont have to press charges. You may need the report to get the prescription filled early, and you will want to have something on file just in case something ever happens again.

That is my $0.02.

 

[Flyin' Lion]

Well the officer I spoke to said that I cannot submit a report without them arresting the neighbor. He also assured me that we cannot be arrested for selling the stolen drugs because someone said "we sold them," however, I don't put my faith in not being arrested under that scenario just because a cop told me so.

I guess it boils down to him or me (or SWMBO).

EDIT: I asked a former police officer I work with and he said I could file an information only report--so who the hell is right? Unfortunately the current officer's opinion is more relevant.

 

[Flyin' Lion]

I would still call the police, but just to report it. You dont have to press charges.

I was told I can't do one without the other. If I file a report, he gets arrested.


Bourdon, I agree with you. But, I don't want to be held accountable for selling drugs that were stolen--if it ever came to that.

 

[Bourdon]

I would still consider trying a peacemaking circle (sounds hippyish, I know). They have been proven to work even in cases such as rape and murder.

 

[Bourdon]

You will never be held accountable for something like that. There is no way to physically trace the pills to the source. They have probably all been consumed by now, anyway.

 

[cubbies]

Interesting. I was sure (maybe different states have different laws) that you could file a report without pressing charges. Oh well.

Honestly I would still go ahead with it. I don't remember where I heard this, but it still sticks with me today: "Silence is the same as acceptance". By not doing anything, you might as well go right up to the dude and tell him that you don't mind if he steals your stuff.

 

[Flyin' Lion]

ANOTHER UPDATE: I just talked to SWMBO and she recovered the bottle, the only thing he did not return is ~40 pills. It's not about the pills, she more than likely won't use the 50+ she has, but the principle. At least now we have a legitimate excuse to cut them out of our life and we're planning to move next summer anyway.

If he shows any lack of contrition in the next few days, though, we may be filing a report.

 

[Philip1993]

My mother had the neighbor kid break into her house and steal medication as well. He ended up shooting himself in the head and that took care of that on-going issue. Point-being - I think you definitely need to call the cops because people like that tend to escalate. It won't stop at stealing some pills.

Yep. And addicts do not change until they are forced to by outside influences. By not dropping the hammer, you are enabling his behavior. If you care for this person/family at all, you will not be an enabler.

I would still consider trying a peacemaking circle (sounds hippyish, I know). They have been proven to work even in cases such as rape and murder.

Let me get this straight. They invited the dead guy, propped him up in the corner, and he told you he was at peace with the murderer. Then the murder said he forgave the victim for being so opportune a victim, and everyone went home happy. Call me a skeptic, but somehow I'm not buying that story...

 

[Flyin' Lion]

"Silence is the same as acceptance". By not doing anything, you might as well go right up to the dude and tell him that you don't mind if he steals your stuff.

That is an easy decision to make when someone is removed from the situation, but when you're intimately involved it becomes exponentially more difficult.

I'm not saying I'm right by not calling, in fact I wish I had the balls to do it, but all I can think of is the repercussions of that phone call--and my family.

 

[gratus fermentatio]

I say put the bottle (with a single pill in it) out on your porch, or someplace the worthless piece of shiite can see it. Set up a camera to catch him stealing it (and he WILL) then call the cops, present you evidence, they'll find the bottle with your wife's name on it in his posession. Some states have a "habitual offender" type statute, you may get lucky & he'll be locked up for several years. If not, it'll at least make life rather difficult (not to mention expensive) for him. But then it's halloween, somebody dressed like a ninja could catch the creep alone & beat the living shiite out of him & disappear. You never know with ninjas, they're tricky that way. Regards, GF.

 

[Bourdon]

Let me get this straight. They invited the dead guy, propped him up in the corner, and he told you he was at peace with the murderer. Then the murder said he forgave the victim for being so opportune a victim, and everyone went home happy. Call me a skeptic, but somehow I'm not buying that story...

Um, the deceased are not the only victims to murder. What about their families and friends?

Thats not how it works. It takes several sessions. Granted a murderer deserves to be in jail for life or put to death. The point of doing this is for all of the parties to work through their pain instead of bottling it up and possibly aiding to mental illness.

 

[olllllo]

Before this goes astray, I'd like to make sure we remember that we are focused specifically on the OPs predicament.

 

[STAD]

Here are things that can be overlooked (for now):

The financial gains from sales
The fact that wife has cancer
The fact that he's a nice guy
The fact that he has a previous record
The fact that he steals from his grandfather

Please do not take this the wrong way, I am not saying that these issues do not add to the patheticness or disgust I have for this person. What I am saying is this:

This person has been invited into your home, and took property from you. End of story.

The fact that he stole something that cost you a good deal, and is necessary for your wife (who will suffer more without them) is only disgusting icing on the cake. Fu(k this loser. Crack-head or not, call the police. I would do a lot more than a cock punch on this ******..

 

[Bourdon]

Before this goes astray, I'd like to make sure we remember that we are focused specifically on the OPs predicament.

I'm sorry for the sidetrack. But adding to what I posted earlier...

Your wife is not the only victim to the crime. Obviously OP, OP's family, and the accused's family are victims as well. For the problem to heal, you all need to work through this together in order to reduce the amount of suffering that this will cause in the long run.

I mean, will it make you fell better that he had to go through the justice system?

An eye for an eye makes the world go blind.

 

[cshort]

Be a man and file a police report.

 

[Flyin' Lion]

I mean, will it make you fell better that he had to go through the justice system?

No. 10 characters.

 

[cubbies]

That is an easy decision to make when someone is removed from the situation...

Oh dude, dont get me wrong. I fully agree. However, you are on a site asking advice from people who are all removed from the situation. I was just offering a little piece of advice that I had heard somewhere along my travels. Take or leave it. No matter what I will wish the best for you and hope everything turns out okay.

And not to contradict ollllo, but I do agree with Bourdon. Sometimes those types of scenarios lead to a solution much faster than just throwing someone in jail.

 

[Flyin' Lion]

Be a man and file a police report.

I submit that a man's first responsibility is to the protection of his family. Is that better served by throwing this punk in jail for a few hours and having him released in a vengeful state of mind, or keeping the "upper hand" with the threat that we can always call the cops if he does anything to us again?


I intend to talk to him tonight and insist his options are to move out of his grandma's house (he's 23--both he and his wife as well as their two children live there) or go to jail.

 

[Flyin' Lion]

Oh dude, dont get me wrong. I fully agree. However, you are on a site asking advice from people who are all removed from the situation. I was just offering a little piece of advice that I had heard somewhere along my travels. Take or leave it. No matter what I will wish the best for you and hope everything turns out okay.

And not to contradict ollllo, but I do agree with Bourdon. Sometimes those types of scenarios lead to a solution much faster than just throwing someone in jail.

Don't worry cubbies, I won't get you wrong and I realize the venue of the question.