I think your questions have been answered by others but lemme know if anything was overlooked. Also here's my $0.02...
With a RIMS, the wort must always be flowing when the element is on...stopping the flow of wort can cause the "stationary" wort to boil inside the RIMS tube (not good) and unfortunately this can't be automated--ok...within reason. The RIMS won't have power when the pump is off, true...but you could have the pump on (and element activated) and accidentally leave one of the valves closed...hence stopping wort flow and boiling inside the tube. You can run the element dry in almost the same way. I did that on RIMS brew session #2...it sucked but luckily I had bought a backup element
And as others have said, use the outlet valve on your MLT to throttle wort flow, rather than the outlet valve on the pump.
SSRs...saw it mentioned already but yes it is there for the sake of the element. It can cut power on/off much faster than a contactor...and it is meant for doing just that.