Messing with SWMBO

[j1n]

Well I'm a female and I do like a prank and a laugh, but nothing makes me laugh more than the smack in the balls I give my husband after he tries to mess with me...

Whoa whoa whoa.... no low blows lady. That's too much. id punch my wife in the tit if she did that to me. :cross:

 

[hunter_le five]

...than the smack in the balls...

In my house, that's considered grounds for divorce.



Sent from my iPad using Home Brew

 

[magpiebrew]

It's a love tap...Plus if I went too far, nothing a beer and some coddling won't fix...

 

[dkwolf]

It's a love tap...Plus if I went too far, nothing a beer and some coddling won't fix...

Sometimes those "taps" are the worst ones. You think you're fine, and then 15 seconds later, you're doubled over wanting to puke.

 

[jhoneycutt]

The pain just seems to stay with you.

 

[Zuljin]

We were all bowling a few nights ago, and my buddy's wife smacked him for good right in the nuts. Right-in-the-nuts! /group hurt

 

[Jaybird]

Sometimes those "taps" are the worst ones. You think you're fine, and then 15 seconds later, you're doubled over wanting to puke.

It's a love tap...Plus if I went too far, nothing a beer and some coddling won't fix...

The pain just seems to stay with you.

I can almost feel it right now just thinking about it...

You lady are not nice!

Cheers
Jay

 

[PatrickGoss]

Here's one. Make a horrible mess on the ceramic stove when she's out. I tell ya, I looked away for one bloody second...

She's gonna kill me.


View attachment 78340

wtf? You can cook in the flask?

As much as I love each and every post on this thread... I manage to keep my wife feeling sufficiently messed with just by breathing.

 

[paulster2626]

Well I'm a female and I do like a prank and a laugh, but nothing makes me laugh more than the smack in the balls I give my husband after he tries to mess with me...

You know what's awesome though? All the times he's messing with you and you don't even realize it. You just know what he wants you to know.

 

[paulster2626]

wtf? You can cook in the flask?

As much as I love each and every post on this thread... I manage to keep my wife feeling sufficiently messed with just by breathing.

Oh yeah. Boiling water straight in to the ice bath a bajillion times and no breaking!

 

[PatrickGoss]

Oh yeah. Boiling water straight in to the ice bath a bajillion times and no breaking!

My world is officially rocked. I will crop dust the wife tonight just to stay on topic and show my appreciation.


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew

 

[Setesh]

Well I'm a female and I do like a prank and a laugh, but nothing makes me laugh more than the smack in the balls I give my husband after he tries to mess with me...

My wife was of the same mind, but ***** twisters proved an effective deterrent.
What is it with you girls and the pain/humor connection? You've never seen such joy as when that woman watches someone else get hurt, especially if it is by falling...she'll cry with laughter. I swear that each X chromosome increases the likelihood of perceiving the pain of others as hilarious.

 

[W0GWT]

I've taken to messing with SWMBO via text message lately.
Started with this:


Then, I decided to use a combo of a play-on-words, a stock photo, and a Google search of "words that contain cat". Results:



And my personal favorite from when church people wanted to give us religious books:



This has been going on for several weeks now, so I'll need to come up with something new soon.

 

[PatrickGoss]

W0- that is brilliant. I would just get a new picture and pull an animal switch on her.


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew

 

[BreezyBrew]

W0- that is brilliant. I would just get a new picture and pull an animal switch on her.


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew

Haha. Or switch out the family pet with one that looks "similar" and act like nothing is wrong.

 

[PatrickGoss]

Haha. Or switch out the family pet with one that looks "similar" and act like nothing is wrong.

I ASSumed a donkey pic would work.


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew

 

[DrunkleJon]

If your SWMBO has an iPhone go into settings and set up shortcuts. Use them on common things she types like lol, haha, etc. make it so that instead of lol it says "I am strangely physically attracted to this donkey" or something similar. Sit back, relax and let the hilarity ensue.

 

[the_bird]

Jesus Christ, you guys are reaching for lame puns.

Oh, I'm sorry.

 

[PatrickGoss]

Jesus Christ, you guys are reaching for lame puns.

Oh, I'm sorry.

New screensaver!


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew

 

[sfgoat]

Don't know if it's been said already but I like to sit next to her and cut a silent but deadly and ask her if she smells popcorn so she takes a big wiff in an attempt to detect some non-existent popcorn aroma. Hilarious, get her every time.

 

[PRE66_6TART]

Don't know if it's been said already but I like to sit next to her and cut a silent but deadly and ask her if she smells popcorn so she takes a big wiff in an attempt to detect some non-existent popcorn aroma. Hilarious, get her every time.

I do a variant on that. I say "Do you hear that?" And then while we're sitting there silently and she's straining to hear something I let one rip.

 

[jhoneycutt]

I like to hug mine and let one fly. Then hold her till it goes away.

 

[rockbasementbeer]

Just started dating my current girlfriend 2 weeks ago...this thread may end the relationship early

 

[j1n]

Just started dating my current girlfriend 2 weeks ago...this thread may end the relationship early

I advise that you wait before messing with her. Wait till you can fart in front of each other, after that milestone i think you should be fairly OK.

 

[gometz]

If your SWMBO has an iPhone go into settings and set up shortcuts. Use them on common things she types like lol, haha, etc. make it so that instead of lol it says "I am strangely physically attracted to this donkey" or something similar. Sit back, relax and let the hilarity ensue.

Somewhat related to this:

We were in Germany for my grandmother's funeral last year, and my dad is one of those guys who NEVER puts his phone on silent. It is obnoxious. So one drunken night, me and my siblings figured out how to record a fart sound and set it as his ringtone. Every single one of us fell over laughing when it went off the next day. He had the reddest face I had ever seen due to the fart sound coming from his pants.

 

[gratus fermentatio]

Somewhat related to this:

We were in Germany for my grandmother's funeral last year, and my dad is one of those guys who NEVER puts his phone on silent. It is obnoxious. So one drunken night, me and my siblings figured out how to record a fart sound and set it as his ringtone. Every single one of us fell over laughing when it went off the next day. He had the reddest face I had ever seen due to the fart sound coming from his pants.

AWESOME!
Regards, GF.

 

[Accidic]

* Bring a book to read on the toilet, preferably a large reference volume. Leave this on the bathroom floor.

* From the bathroom, shout "Holy crap! Hey babe check this out!"

These both made me laugh. The first because my father has 4 sisters and growing up it was a fight to have any chance in the bathroom. As a result if he could make it in there before them he'd sit on the john with a 7" thick master edition of the dictionary and read words just to drag out the time. And the second is just pure lowbrow comedy gold.

Wash and dry all of her clothes. You'll screw it up and likely ruin many garments.

You'll never have to do laundry again.

I'm not allowed to do laundry for similar reasons. In addition, I'm not allowed to do dishes either because I absolutely refuse to wash the dishes before putting them into the dishwasher. Strangely, to this day she still fails to see why I have a problem with that.

 

[stevereigh]

If your SWMBO has an iPhone go into settings and set up shortcuts. Use them on common things she types like lol, haha, etc. make it so that instead of lol it says "I am strangely physically attracted to this donkey" or something similar. Sit back, relax and let the hilarity ensue.

I did this 2 weeks ago. I was trying so hard to hold in my laughter when she says to me "Every time I type in you it changes to Your Mom and I cant figure out why....."

She even had an entire conversation with her cousin about it via text.

 

[BreezyBrew]

I'm not sure if this counts but this morning I put cayanne pepper in her coffee instead of cinnamon. Oops!

 

[unionrdr]

I do a variant on that. I say "Do you hear that?" And then while we're sitting there silently and she's straining to hear something I let one rip.

I refer to those as "barking' spiders". they're loud & their breath stinks...I tramp my foot as I let them loose in bursts