Messing with SWMBO

[bottlebomber]

Hey bomber if you werent frigging huge and far away Id... Id... probably still laugh.

That's what my wife does, might as well heap it on

 

[Whsoj]

Go with a transplanted MUSC grad instead! Can you say "sugar momma"? Haha

Married to a doctor ehe? Put her pager/cellphone out in the hallway when you go to bed, tape saran-wrap to the doorway and coat it in maple syrup then call the phone/pager.

 

[bottlebomber]

Married to a doctor ehe? Put her pager/cellphone out in the hallway when you go to bed, tape saran-wrap to the doorway and coat it in maple syrup then call the phone/pager.

And since he's married to a doctor he can afford to spread a pint of maple syrup out for a prank

 

[Whsoj]

And since he's married to a doctor he can afford to spread a pint of maple syrup out for a prank

Yea I use Aunt Jemima

 

[beaksnbeer]

Yeah. I can honestly and truthfully say that nothing I ever did warranted that response. The relationship just wasn't working anymore and I didn't think it was going to work again since the problems were long standing, so I ended it.

So yeah, that was cold. But colder yet was the fact that she made sure I couldn't say a goodbye to "our" two dogs (they were hers, but after two years they were mine too). Kind of a long story, and I've found some other destroyed possessions since then, but it's not worth the retelling.

Jokes is jokes, but don't cross that line, fellas.

Had a friend jerk off and put it in his ex's toothpaste tube. She let her friends and the movers drink all his brew while he was on the road. (we did Rubber Extruded Press installs)

 

[bottlebomber]

I don't prank my wife too much because I figure her having to put up with me on a daily basis is enough of a shenanigan. However I will occasionally come up to the shower curtain and look over the top, usually while she's washing her hair, and just stand their silently. Once she's gotten the soap washed off her face she will eventually notice the eyes peeking out from over the curtain, and let out a shriek. I may do this once every 6 months or so.

 

[HoppyDaze]

^ creepy in real life too

 

[SupervisingChildren]

Married to a doctor ehe? Put her pager/cellphone out in the hallway when you go to bed, tape saran-wrap to the doorway and coat it in maple syrup then call the phone/pager.

That's not a bad idea haha. Syrup dripping on the hardwood floors would not be good though!
Nah, she's a nurse, but my dad works there and I get to visit down south once a year or so.... however, I can say that the medical profession pays. I can also say from personal experience that my job in the mental health field doesn't pay very much at all, hence me not having top of the line equipment haha

 

[bottlebomber]

^ creepy in real life too

I hope those dogs feckin bite you in the face. Hahaha!

 

[PistolsAtDawn]

Had a friend jerk off and put it in his ex's toothpaste tube. She let her friends and the movers drink all his brew while he was on the road. (we did Rubber Extruded Press installs)

I just won't speak to her for a long while rather than get some sort of revenge. I just won't sink to her level, which is most likely the reason why she did it in the first place: a sick way to keep me in her life by making me angry at her.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

I just won't speak to her for a long while rather than get some sort of revenge. I just won't sink to her level, which is most likely the reason why she did it in the first place: a sick way to keep me in her life by making me angry at her.

Good point. Never listen to my advice about dealing with people... its usually "never speak to them again".

 

[PistolsAtDawn]

Good point. Never listen to my advice about dealing with people... its usually "never speak to them again".

Ha. Well, that would be an option if not for the fact that she got to be good friends with one of my oldest friend's now-fiance. So while I don't expect to never see her again, I did make it abundantly clear that I was very angry with her for her behavior and it would be a good long while before I wanted to see or speak to her again.

Back to the topic of this thread: I actually owed her a really good prank. She scared the bejebus out of me one time by hiding around a corner and jumping out at me after a particularly long and frustrating day. That was the one time she managed to startle me. And lord how she tried so many other times, but I always saw it coming.

Now I wish I'd have gotten her back for that before we broke up rather than saving it up for something perfect. Oh well.

 

[USAFSooner]

Had a friend jerk off and put it in his ex's toothpaste tube. She let her friends and the movers drink all his brew while he was on the road. (we did Rubber Extruded Press installs)

A guy on my floor in Air Force tech school did that to his roommates shampoo bottle over the period of a couple weeks.

 

[emjay]

A guy on my floor in Air Force tech school did that to his roommates shampoo bottle over the period of a couple weeks.

That reminds me of an absolute classic SWMBO prank... Nair in the shampoo bottle. Hilarious!

 

[JohanMk1]

That reminds me of an absolute classic SWMBO prank... Nair in the shampoo bottle. Hilarious!

If she'd destroyed my homebrew yes, otherwise you're deeeeep into divorce territory.

 

[Whsoj]

Since we are on this subject this is a really funny gag gift

Cooking with guess what?

 

[russrob81]

Sometimes ill brew her coffee with a tin of skoal. Boy howdy is that a lark. Even better if she's hung over

 

[TheJasonT]

Since we are on this subject this is a really funny gag gift

Cooking with guess what?

DUDE WHAT THE ACTUAL BLEEEEEP!

Omg I was absolutely dying of laughter at some of the similar books. LMFAO

 

[CreamyGoodness]

I cant look at it at work but Im guessing its "Nature's Harvest"

 

[TheJasonT]

Indeed it is. LMFAO that was my first time seeing that book.

 

[Whsoj]

I cant look at it at work but Im guessing its "Nature's Harvest"

Its good for shock factor, not much else......

 

[Thunder_Chicken]

The gift that keeps on giving:

http://www.poopsenders.com/

 

[HoppyDaze]

The gift that keeps on giving:

http://www.poopsenders.com/

Ha! I may just use this service one day

 

[paulster2626]

Wife is maid-of-honor in a wedding tomorrow. We don't have a printer at home, so she just forwarded me her speech to print off a couple copies for her here at work.

Replaced some words in there with 'penis'. Should be funny tomorrow, we'll see.

Some classics: "Another night of great penis thanks to Lisa!", and "She had fallen on her penis and broken it."

 

[TheJasonT]

Dude that is EVIL!! And GENIUS!!! Please please please video it and upload to YouTube!!!

 

[McBrewskie]

Wife is maid-of-honor in a wedding tomorrow. We don't have a printer at home, so she just forwarded me her speech to print off a couple copies for her here at work.

Replaced some words in there with 'penis'. Should be funny tomorrow, we'll see.

Some classics: "Another night of great penis thanks to Lisa!", and "She had fallen on her penis and broken it."

Wow that's hilarious. Though you might want to find a really good divorce attorney.

 

[gratus fermentatio]

Dude that is EVIL!! And GENIUS!!! Please please please video it and upload to YouTube!!!

+1 on this. PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!

 

[McBrewskie]

+1 on this. PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!

What is great is its a wedding so he can video all he wants.

 

[chezhed]

Wife is maid-of-honor in a wedding tomorrow. We don't have a printer at home, so she just forwarded me her speech to print off a couple copies for her here at work.

Replaced some words in there with 'penis'. Should be funny tomorrow, we'll see.

Some classics: "Another night of great penis thanks to Lisa!", and "She had fallen on her penis and broken it."

I've pulled many wedding pranks like the soles of the grooms shoes painted with whiteout saying Help Me for a ceremony when they knelt, and jello in champagne glasses and a hot air wedding cake and vinegar in a champagne bottle for the toast at the rehearsal dinner BUT THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE HEARD YET.....I am dying to hear about this.....

 

[chezhed]

SWMBO has many hair pieces...falls, clip knots, whatever the damn things are called.... When she takes them off, it can be anywhere....tends to leave the damn things on the couch or wherever. Then asks me if I've seen such and such hair thing, like I know WTF she's talking about.....so I just go in a room and find one and put it on my head and go back....she hates that to some degree but it's better when she asks for one when we are getting dressed to go out and I ain't dressed yet.....I love to put them in my shorts and have it drapped out with the ole johnson right next to it .... sets her off like crazy.