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I hate coffee, brown french fries, and dark toast, so I'll never find a stout I like right?

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A black ipa/cascadian dark ale might be a good jump-off to darker beers. I like the dunkel idea too. Just something to get you used to the stout vibe might get your taste buds used to the flavor and over the hump.
 
So I looked up the beer I had the other day,

4 hands brewing out of St. Louis MO ,

The beer was absence of light , a chocolate, peanut butter milk stout .

Try it! It’s about as far from a traditional stout as possible but super tasty.
 
Have you had any of the nitro milk stouts like Left Hand or FW's Nitro Merlin? These are very mild stouts, almost like water and very easy to drink. I suggest trying those.

My last imperial stout I did is almost like a desert beer. Not much roasty-ness to it at all and very chocolatey. If you're looking to make one, I can share the recipe with you.

Additionally, if you can find Boulder Chocolate Shake (preferably on nitro) I think it'd be a good one for you as well. It's just as it sounds, like a chocolate shake.
 
Porters or English-style brown ales could be alternatives.
Think of it like Gateway beers.

I love stouts and porters, but I also like most other styles. Depends on the situation and what I'm pairing it with. Hot afternoon solo brews not likely to be a stout, but alongside a shepherd's pie on a cool evening is another story.

I do like chocolate, but only around 70% cocoa -bitter. I'll try a porter. :)
70% is on the darker side of chocolate. Dove dark is like 55%
Um, we call that bait round here.
 
Wow a lot of suggestions. My suggestion- try a Tropical Stout. 'Lion Stout' from Sri Lanka is just a wonderful beer. Not too roasty, slightly sweet, dark fruit highlights. Just wonderful. I've been working on trying to clone it for probably 5 years now. Getting close. Hopefully 'My White Whale' will finally get it right.
 
Wow a lot of suggestions. My suggestion- try a Tropical Stout. 'Lion Stout' from Sri Lanka is just a wonderful beer. Not too roasty, slightly sweet, dark fruit highlights. Just wonderful. I've been working on trying to clone it for probably 5 years now. Getting close. Hopefully 'My White Whale' will finally get it right.
Another vote for tropical stouts. Dragon Stout (Jamaica) is a good one. Guinness Foreign Export is also a good one. Left Hand's "Fade to Black" foreign stout is also worth mentioning. I have not tried Lion Stout yet, but I'd like to see the recipe if you're sharing. I'm due for another stout and was planning on making Dragon again since it turned out pretty well last year. Haven't had much luck getting the Guinness FE right. Cool thing about this style is it works as a warm weather (tropical) beer.
 
Just so you dont immediately shut your mind off to stouts in general , try a Murphy's Irish Stout,give it an honest try...I've just opened one ( from a pint can)and poured it into my favorite (Guinness)stout glass. I know , sacrilege to Guinness ,right? well, I'm here to tell you . This is my first time trying a Murphy's and I think I like it better than Guinness,which speaks volumes. Its got the creamiest head ever poured, the mouthfeel is light and velvety , not nearly as much bitterness as Guinness or any other stout Ive had before, not quite the amount of carbonation either. But its just smooth and good. The head settles to a 1/2 inch thick and stays that way. Tip the glass and it doesnt have legs as other beers lacing do...more like a blanket coating as if it were melted whipped cream.
 
Also , if you can find any Sam Smith beers. They have an Oatmeal stout, Organic Chocolate Stout(very sweet, almost dessert-like)
 
Just so you dont immediately shut your mind off to stouts in general , try a Murphy's Irish Stout,give it an honest try...I've just opened one ( from a pint can)and poured it into my favorite (Guinness)stout glass. I know , sacrilege to Guinness ,right? well, I'm here to tell you . This is my first time trying a Murphy's and I think I like it better than Guinness,which speaks volumes. Its got the creamiest head ever poured, the mouthfeel is light and velvety , not nearly as much bitterness as Guinness or any other stout Ive had before, not quite the amount of carbonation either. But its just smooth and good. The head settles to a 1/2 inch thick and stays that way. Tip the glass and it doesnt have legs as other beers lacing do...more like a blanket coating as if it were melted whipped cream.
I know I'm opening myself up to a public shaming here, but I really enjoy Murphy's Stout, especially on a nitro pour. Its bmc stout for sure, maybe even the curs lat of stouts at 4.2%. But a solid Dry Irish stout and goid from the pint can. Slight derailment but also like Wexford Cream Ale from the pint cans. Open and forcefully pour into a pint glass and let that canned nitro cascade!
 
Yes, Murphys has a widget and I'm pretty sure its on nitro as well, those cascading bubbles are awesome.
 
I have not tried Lion Stout yet, but I'd like to see the recipe if you're sharing.
I'm not going to share my recipe until I get it right. You don't really want to replicate my failures, right? There is a fairly lengthy thread on Lion Stout started by Revvy I believe. It's an older thread, but has some useful info. If you can find Lion Stout (it's fairly rare at least around here) pick up a 4 pack and give it a try. I have not yet tried Dragon Stout, but it is on my list if I can find it.
 
jmcquesten: I will however share the recipe for my 'Tommy Atkin's Stout' which was last year's attempt. I decided to go completely overboard with the tropical nature, dry hopping with Citra and Azacca, and adding mango along with vanilla bean, lactose and cocoa nibs. It turned out very interesting in it's own right, but it sure ain't Lion Stout. Did OK at a couple of competitions, getting a 3rd at one and a 1st at another with a score of 43. The recipe is on Brewtoad, which supposedly went belly-up on Jan. 1, but seems to still be functional.
https://www.brewtoad.com/recipes/tommy-atkins-stout
By the way- Tommy Atkins is the most common variety of mango sold in the US. Hence the name.
 
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I'm not going to share my recipe until I get it right. You don't really want to replicate my failures, right? There is a fairly lengthy thread on Lion Stout started by Revvy I believe. It's an older thread, but has some useful info. If you can find Lion Stout (it's fairly rare at least around here) pick up a 4 pack and give it a try. I have not yet tried Dragon Stout, but it is on my list if I can find it.
They are both available at total wine near me. I'll go pick up some lion today and see if I want to give it a shot or stick with my proven Dragon stout.


*update: drinking a lion stout for the first time now. It's pretty good, but I think I prefer the Dragon stout over it.
 
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