How I Got Kicked From Beer Advocate (& HBT)

[Vamptrump]

Can we get back to how kettle corn sucks?

I don't think that's possible, because kettle corn is awesome. I have "American Corn" kettle corn from the farmer's market in front of me. Cherry, Blue Raspberry, and normal kettle corn living happy in unity.

 

[Saboral]

I don't think that's possible, because kettle corn is awesome. I have "American Corn" kettle corn from the farmer's market in front of me. Cherry, Blue Raspberry, and normal kettle corn living happy in unity.

Your ability to buy such unholy corn violates my right to religious freedom. It's an abomination.

 

[Vamptrump]

Your ability to buy such unholy corn violates my right to religious freedom. It's an abomination.

It tastes like freedom!

 

[drainbamage]

Ok, so the other day we were at the store and I saw a package of buffalo seasoned peanuts. Sounded pretty great. I was wrong. What the package didn't mention is that they are honey-roasted peanuts with a little bit of buffalo seasoning on the outside. Not a good combination.

 

[sablesurfer]

Ok, so the other day we were at the store and I saw a package of buffalo seasoned peanuts. Sounded pretty great. I was wrong. What the package didn't mention is that they are honey-roasted peanuts with a little bit of buffalo seasoning on the outside. Not a good combination.

http://www.originaljuan.com/pain-is-good/batch-218-hott-nuts

This is what you want. They are WAY too hot for me, but man do they taste so good I suffered for every set of 3-4 I ate through the weeks of suffering.

 

[PlexVector]

naw, but I am seriously thinking about getting my avatar tattooed on me.

Trunk or appendage?

 

[DrunkleJon]

Just a picture of a punch, right on the berries

 

[drainbamage]

http://www.originaljuan.com/pain-is-good/batch-218-hott-nuts

This is what you want. They are WAY too hot for me, but man do they taste so good I suffered for every set of 3-4 I ate through the weeks of suffering.

Nice, I've seen those around before. Thanks for the tip!

 

[b-boy]

Your ability to buy such unholy corn violates my right to religious freedom. It's an abomination.

I agree.

Popcorn should contain corn, oil, salt, butter and occasionally some processed cheddar cheese powder. Anything else is just plain wrong.

The only exception is caramel corn, cracker jack, and any variation of the a'fore mentioned. They don't try to pass themslves off as popcorn the way kettle corn does, so it's given a pass.

My wife loves kettle corn. I can't tell you how many times I've been duped into taking a big 'ole handfull of the stuff, thinking it was delicious, buttery popcorn. It's just nasty!

 

[SnakeRidge]

I can't tell you how many times I've been duped into taking a big 'ole handfull of the stuff, thinking it was delicious, buttery popcorn. It's just nasty!

Thats what I hate most about kettle corn; the deceit. Be nasty, that's fine. Just don't try to blend in with beautiful popcorn.

 

[GrogNerd]

I agree.

Popcorn should contain corn, oil, salt, butter and occasionally some processed cheddar cheese powder. Anything else is just plain wrong.

The only exception is caramel corn, cracker jack, and any variation of the a'fore mentioned. They don't try to pass themslves off as popcorn the way kettle corn does, so it's given a pass.

My wife loves kettle corn. I can't tell you how many times I've been duped into taking a big 'ole handfull of the stuff, thinking it was delicious, buttery popcorn. It's just nasty!

AH! but kettle corn is just caramel corn where the sugar hasn't been caramelized

only other difference is the sugar in kettle corn was added to the oil as the popcorn was popped, instead of drizzled on after the pop

so, you're arguing that the same EXACT ingredients prepared a SLIGHTLY different way turns it from delicious to nasty.

OK.

 

[peterj]

AH! but kettle corn is just caramel corn where the sugar hasn't been caramelized

only other difference is the sugar in kettle corn was added to the oil as the popcorn was popped, instead of drizzled on after the pop

so, you're arguing that the same EXACT ingredients prepared a SLIGHTLY different way turns it from delicious to nasty.

OK.

There's a lot of things like that. For example you cook some ground beef and put it on a bun with some cheese. Delicious.

Or you take the ground beef and instead of cooking it you eat it and poop it out. Then you take that and put it on a bun with some cheese. Nasty.

Basically what I'm saying is kettle corn is almost exactly like human feces.

 

[b-boy]

AH! but kettle corn is just caramel corn where the sugar hasn't been caramelized

only other difference is the sugar in kettle corn was added to the oil as the popcorn was popped, instead of drizzled on after the pop

so, you're arguing that the same EXACT ingredients prepared a SLIGHTLY different way turns it from delicious to nasty.

OK.

Caramel has a completely different flavor than plain sugar. Give me a caramel candy, I'm happy. Give me a sugar cube, not so much.

Either way, I can spot caramel corn a mile away. Kettle corn is just a sneaky attempt to spike my blood sugar so I get diabetes. IMHO - Kettle corn is probably soley responsible for the rash if diabetes in this country.

 

[b-boy]

There's a lot of things like that. For example you cook some ground beef and put it on a bun with some cheese. Delicious.

Or you take the ground beef and instead of cooking it you eat it and poop it out. Then you take that and put it on a bun with some cheese. Nasty.

Basically what I'm saying is kettle corn is almost exactly like human feces.

This is an excellent analogy! Bravo!

 

[drainbamage]

AH! but kettle corn is just caramel corn where the sugar hasn't been caramelized

only other difference is the sugar in kettle corn was added to the oil as the popcorn was popped, instead of drizzled on after the pop

so, you're arguing that the same EXACT ingredients prepared a SLIGHTLY different way turns it from delicious to nasty.

OK.

Would you drink an IPA if the hops were mashed then boiled, then the grains were added at various intervals over the 60 minute boil, followed by a big dose 5 days before bottling?

/Devil's advocate

 

[hunter_le five]

Basically what I'm saying is kettle corn is almost exactly like human feces.

Quoted for truth, added to my sig for posterity.

 

[DrunkleJon]

Oooh.. A reverse IPA. Mash the hops, then add grain additions for bittering, flavoring and aroma. I think this calls for a super small scale recipe.

 

[SnakeRidge]

so, you're arguing that the same EXACT ingredients prepared a SLIGHTLY different way turns it from delicious to nasty.

OK.

There is no argument. Kettle corn is nasty. QED

 

[beernbourbon]

There is no argument. Kettle corn is nasty. QED

Amen, no further discussion necessary.

 

[Vamptrump]

Here is an important discussion item.

Everlasting Gobstoppers: Bite whole, suck some then bite, or suck until tart center, or suck until gone?

I find myself biting more than sucking. I'm impatient.

Also...I feel as though calling Gobstoppers "everlasting" is a lie.

 

[Psylocide]

I find myself biting more than sucking. I'm impatient.

Huh.

 

[1977Brewer]

Here is an important discussion item.

Everlasting Gobstoppers: Bite whole, suck some then bite, or suck until tart center, or suck until gone?

I find myself biting more than sucking. I'm impatient.

Also...I feel as though calling Gobstoppers "everlasting" is a lie.

Willy Wonka enslaves an entire race and you want to question the ethics of a semantic overstatement. You monster.

 

[Vamptrump]

Huh.

As I was writing the post I realized how bad it sounded. Then continued on.

 

[Vamptrump]

Willy Wonka enslaves an entire race and you want to question the ethics of a semantic overstatement. You monster.

The Oompa-Loompas were preyed upon in Loompaland. Wonka invited them to work in his factory. He gives them safety and pays them in their favorite food (cocoa beans).

 

[drainbamage]

Everlasting Gobstoppers: Bite whole, suck some then bite, or suck until tart center, or suck until gone?

I find myself biting more than sucking. I'm impatient.

.

View attachment 1433273668929.jpg

 

[Vamptrump]

.

nope

 

[1977Brewer]

The Oompa-Loompas were preyed upon in Loompaland. Wonka invited them to work in his factory. He gives them safety and pays them in their favorite food (cocoa beans).

Think about that for a second. They work for food and sheleter, apparently exclusively that. Sounds awfully close to slavery.

At any rate, I also chomp right into them almost immediately. Or, I did when my teeth weren't terrible.

 

[Vamptrump]

Think about that for a second. They work for food and sheleter, apparently exclusively that. Sounds awfully close to slavery.

At any rate, I also chomp right into them almost immediately. Or, I did when my teeth weren't terrible.

Difference is that slaves were forced into the situation. They are more like Sharecroppers where there share goes to paying for food and shelter. They could easily leave if they wanted to.

 

[1977Brewer]

Difference is that slaves were forced into the situation. They are more like Sharecroppers where there share goes to paying for food and shelter. They could easily leave if they wanted to.

Okay, how about that time he lured a bunch of kids into his factory and almost killed all of them with his gross negligence?

What I;m getting at is that the man is unhinged. I do love Runts though.

 

[Vamptrump]

Okay, how about that time he lured a bunch of kids into his factory and almost killed all of them with his gross negligence?

What I;m getting at is that the man is unhinged. I do love Runts though.

Both the kids and their guardians signed a contract acknowledging the risks/dangers within the factory. The other parties were just as guilty. They didn't listen to clear instructions that put their safety at risk.