How does one do this......

[Kronin]

holy smokes the best advice i can give is to work every detail out with her on paper and sign... then you can get on with it. Lawyers like to make money and will drag it out for eternity and lots of $$$$$.

 

[jmendez29]

Glad to hear you are trying to work it out. Me and my ex had all the details worked out before I hired a lawyer. Still cost me over 5k. And even though it was an easy divorce, I still wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Divorce is hell. And just a thought, if you were to have any ideas like this in the future, the people you should talk to first are you parents. They will be looking out for YOUR best interest, and if you can't seem to find the words to tell them the truth, then you probably should find a better reason to talk to them.

 

[StoutFan]

Well, we have decided to go back to church and get some help from the reverend. We tried finding counciling in our affordability range but everything we found was $150+ for the first hour, and then $85-$100 every hour after. I'm affraid we just don't have that kind of extra dough laying around, even with stopping all the hobbies. Any good books out there anyone know of?

 

[Lil' Sparky]

"Love and Respect" by Emerson Eggerich. Great book to help husbands and wives understand each others greatest needs.

 

[FireNightFly]

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationships
By John Gray PHD

 

[StoutFan]

Thanks guys, I'll have to find those ones and check them out.

 

[Brew-Happy]

Try the library at your church (If they have one). They should have a ton of books on this subject. The pastor probably has a small library with good marriage books as well. Plus you won't have to buy them.

Also, in the churches I have attended there are usually couples that will mentor couples that need help. There may be some that have gone through what you have (or much worse) and made it through as a stronger married couple. Ask your pastor if there are people that have volunteered to do this. Couldn't hurt.

Check out "The Five Love Languages" book. Good eye opener to people's personality. The Five Love Languages Again, if your church has a library, odds are they have a few copies of this on hand.

Good luck and good decision to work through this.

 

[HokieBrewer]

"Love and Respect" by Emerson Eggerich. Great book to help husbands and wives understand each others greatest needs.

Second. This opened my eyes big time.

 

[Lil' Sparky]

Second. This opened my eyes big time.

Yeah, me too. Although it seems like it usually opens the women's eyes even more. Usually, the truth is that they completely don't understand men, how we function, what we need, why things make us feel the way they do, etc. Guys KNOW they don't have women figured out. Often women mistakenly think they've got us figured out when they're just as blind to things.

 

[Bullbythehorns]

An interesting movie to watch as a couple to is "Fireproof" with Kirk Cameron. My wife and I watched it together, it was very thought provoking and inspired some worthwhile conversations for our relationship.

 

[GregR]

An interesting movie to watch as a couple to is "Fireproof" with Kirk Cameron. My wife and I watched it together, it was very thought provoking and inspired some worthwhile conversations for our relationship.

is that the one where he gets addicted to porn? if it is I couldn't stop laughing at the thought of Kirk Cameron making a movie about getting addicted to intarwebz pron.

 

[brrman]

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationships
By John Gray PHD

I will +++++ this book! It helped my wife and I immensely. It especially helped me understand her more.

 

[BeerBudha]

It seems like everyone on here usually says to try and work it out. I was married for 3 years and miserable just about the entire time but stuck with it to try and make it work. Well in the end she came to me a week and a half before a test that my job depended on and said she wanted a divorce from me. If you're not happy get out now instead of trying like hell to make it work then getting ambushed when you get home from a 10 hour day at work.