Hate to sound like a noob but...

[Ashz]

I am still in the learning phase of all this so I am open to everyone that has been through what we are in the process of. Birth. Home birth..doped up, C-section..all the rest. I would love to hear anyone's experiences that want to share. We still have some ways to go but I am a bit of a planner.

I really like to look into all options with everything that I am going to experience. I have seriously stressed over laptop decisions, can't tell you the amount of hours I spent deciding on ski boots. Fishing poles..sheesh don't get me started. So SWMBO is going to give birth, I am beginning to feel like we are at the doctors mercy on this. Research I have done I will keep to myself. Suffice it to say there are many ways that are done, have been done, pretty sure will be done at some point. I would love to hear some unbiased, first hand input on this.

Notice I didn't start a poll on what we should do. I am not looking for persuasion as much as reassurance. Again this is a first for us. She is scared, I am petrified, but I would like to be informed. So please any and all experiences, thoughts, feelings, emotions are welcome.

 

[GreenwoodRover]

First off - Congratulations!

I guess I don't really know what you're asking. Maybe advice on how/what/where/when to deliver the baby?

The real only advice I can offer is be flexible.
The baby and your wife's body will determine when it comes. I could very well be early via induced labor or 2 weeks late. Regarldess complictions may and will arise. No one experience is the same as the next and if you ask 10 people what is "right" invariably you'll get 10 answers.

That said, here's my opinion:
Let your wife decide. It's mostly her journey. Her tolerance for pain, ideas about safety, or the proper thing to do trump yours. To be crass, you're not about to push a lemon out your dhole, but she (in similar ratios) is...

Trust your doctor. If you research a laptop for weeks on end I'm sure you put the same diligence into your choice of hospital/doctor. He/she has been there plenty and will always do what's best for her and the baby, then know the risks to each and are trained to do the calm balancing act that seems like the proverbial "rock and a hard place" when and if any curveballs are thrown your way.

As far as the hows/whats, if possible avoid C section (if doc says its it, then it is). If you're doing the midwife or home birth or even a water birth have a doc on hand. I don't want to scare you, but it can go sideways fast. It really helps to "give it over" to someone that knows the drill.
My wife's pressure shot up with 7weeks to go, doc got her through the next 2-3 weeks then induced. My first son spent the first month of his life in the NICU.
We were more prepared the second time and she lasted a week longer but same deal with my second.

edit:
Please don't say things like "we're pregnant" that just annoys the hell outta people.

 

[Ashz]

I am more or less just looking to hear other peoples experiences with the process. I fully expect to let her call the shots, as it is her body.

Thanks for your input!

 

[Boerderij_Kabouter]

Congratulations!

My wife delivered in a hospital with no drugs. Was it intense? Yes. Did it hurt really really bad? Yes. Was she happy she took nothing? Yes.

Natural delivery has several advantages and in our opinion that was the right road.

I highly suggest reading a book called "Birth". Amazon.com: Birth: The Surprising History of How We Are Born: Tina Cassidy: Books

"Pushed" was good too. Amazon.com: Pushed: The Painful Truth About Childbirth and Modern Maternity Care: Jennifer Block: Books

Don't read those books if you are easily scared or could become paniky about birthing. Giving birth is a natural phenom. and I am sure your wife (or sig other) will do great!

Also, we didn't take the classes, if you are well informed about the process, there is no need.

 

[marubozo]

Just had our first in March. It was terrifying. Like you, I'm a planner by nature and my decision making process can be extensive. Your baby and your wife's body are on their own schedule, so the feeling of being completely out of control can be overwhelming.

First off, just assume that things won't go as planned. The sooner you come to terms with that the less stress you'll have. No matter what you plan on doing or expect will happen, it probably won't. (At least think about it like that so if it does all work out as planned it will be a breeze).

We thought we had it all planned out. We were going to do just a standard natural birth at the hospital. Weeks in advance we even pre-registered and got everything set. Then the due date came, and still no contractions. Doc said to wait a week, so we did. Still nothing. Doc said to still wait. Another week, nothing. We were already stressed and anxious as it was in the weeks just leading up to the due date so being 2 more weeks overdue was killer.

Finally the doc scheduled a time to start inducing labor. Thankfully, it was good to go to the hospital on our own terms rather than waking up in the middle of the night saying OMG MY WATER BROKE!@#% and rush off. But guess what? The induction wasn't working. Spent two days in the hospital just trying to make that baby come out with no luck.

By the second day there was a little progress, but while I'm sitting in the room eating lunch a few nurses come in and start looking at all the monitors concerned. In a matter of minutes before I even knew what was going on they were wheeling my wife out for an immediate C-section. Talk about throwing you for a loop. I'm just sitting there like WTF? And they throw me some scrubs and say I should go into the OR with my wife.

Long story short, whatever you decide, just keep in mind that things might not go as planned. We read all the books, watched all the stuff on TV and a few weeks before our due date we thought we had the whole process figured out and knew what to expect. That couldn't have been further from the truth in our case.

That being said it's still the most amazing experience in the world, but until you go through it it's hard to describe how you should plan for it and what to expect.

 

[Cape Brewing]

My wife went epidural, drugs, the whole she-bang... pushed for 28 hours and then went C for our first. After the first, she had the option is scheduling a C up front or trying natural again for our second and she didn't even let the doctor get the question out of his mouth before she said she wanted another C. And now we have two perfect boys.

Just listen to your doctor. They'll explain everything, the risks, the benefits, etc. and then just do what you guys think is right.

If there is one thing we learned with our two children is that babies are like religion and politics... everyone is an expert and everyone's way is the best way and if you don't do it their way, you're "DAMAGING THE CHILD!!!!". Please... Don't listen to the nazis and do what you guys feel is right for you. There is no right answer, just what you guys are the most comfortable with.

Wait until the breastfeed whackos come out of the wood work... they're fun. "IF YOU DON'T BREASTFEED FOR 8 YEARS THE CHILD WILL DIE!!!!!"

 

[marubozo]

Wait until the breastfeed whackos come out of the wood work... they're fun. "IF YOU DON'T BREASTFEED FOR 8 YEARS THE CHILD WILL DIE!!!!!"

Oh man, this is the truth! Holy cow, it's like the hippies who jump down your throat because you're not eating organic food. So yes, just do what you feel is right. You might have some people think you're the worst parents in the world if you aren't breastfeeding for the first six months or something but don't let them bother you. Everyone is different and breastfeeding isn't always practical.

We met some crazy breastfeeding wackos as well. Listen to your doc and do what feels right and all will be fine.

 

[MMW]

First off...Congratulations! We have two boys 6 and (almost) 3. We're done (we think).

My wife said she wanted natural for our first...that lasted until we were actually at the hospital. She had the epidural. It wasn't even given a second thought for the second. It's kind of like brewing beer...there's no right way or wrong way so long as the baby comes out healthy. Quite frankly our biggest problems have been in maternity wards after the birth dealing with all that mess (nurses not leaving the baby long enough, doctor not showing up when he should, lousy food, etc.)

Breastfeeding is absolutely the way to go (for you) since you lack the necessary equipment for the inevitable 2:00 feeding.

TANGENT ALERT:
I remember very clearly driving my wife to the hospital RIGHT THEN during a HAIL STORM ($15k in body damage to our truck ) because if we didn't leave RIGHT THEN she and the baby WERE GOING TO DIE (that's pretty much the way she said it too). We made it...everything went fine...your will too. RDWHAHB

 

[Boerderij_Kabouter]

If there is one thing we learned with our two children is that babies are like religion and politics... everyone is an expert and everyone's way is the best way and if you don't do it their way, you're "DAMAGING THE CHILD!!!!". Please... Don't listen to the nazis and do what you guys feel is right for you. There is no right answer, just what you guys are the most comfortable with.

Truer words have never been said. HOLY COW do people love giving advice on parenting. You have to be strong and stick to your guns. Only you are your child's parents and you need to be confident in what you do.

On the breastfeeding topic... the advantages and benefits to breastfeeding are facts. You do not have to breastfeed and it doesn't work for everyone, but the list of benefits is long and mighty. As with everything, it comes down to personal choice, do what is right for your family.

Also, I am not a hippy, but organic food is way better.

 

[Recusit8m]

Hey there...Congrats on you and you wifes crowning (pun intended) achievement...Just my 2 cents...As a Paramedic and a father of 2, I have delivered 7 in the field and assisted in the C section of my 2...I have also lived around the country and can tell you that you need to do whats comfy for you and your spouse...Different positions, different settings, the people that are involved, as well as regional ideals all play a key role...We had our first child in Eugene Oregon and they we all about the long "natural" process along with extensive Breast feeding (up to a yr), and then had our 2nd in Las Vegas...Talk about rushed, get back to the casino and start gambling attitude...They were both great experiences but different on all levels...I can tell you this from a paramedic and a fathers stand point...BREASTFEED BREASTFEED BREASTFEED!!!...Its kinda like the beer we brew in the sense that its all natural, cheaper to produce, carries all sort of Vitamin/Immuno additives (i.e. colostrum)...Ive seen numerous kids in my truck that werent breastfed with all sorts of issues...The only problem is you cant put an airlock on your wife and stick her in a closet in the dark...lol...j/k...Well anyways, thats my 2c...Good luck and congrats once again...You are going to love being a Dad...Now you have an extra holiday to ask for that Wort Chiller...Jason

 

[Cape Brewing]

yeah, I'm a jerk. I didn't even say congrats.

CONGRATS!!!

It's some heavy duty scary stuff sometimes but it is just the absolute coolest thing you'll ever do.

The most surreal thing I remember for the whole child-birth deal was when we were ready to leave the hospital with our first (Cole). The nurses pack you all up... "ok... we've got everything. We've got all the flowers from the room... did you steal a couple of those hospital swaddling blankets??? yup? good... Ok... we're outta here"

... and they just let you walk out with a baby.

It's the oddest feeling. We kept looking at each other as we walked to the car, carrying Cole in his little carrier... thinking, "Umm.. isn't there... like... a booklet or something they should have given us?? Is someone going to come with us??"

Nope... you're on your own.... with a baby.

It's just a very surreal feeling.

 

[FireBrewer]

Congratulations!!

Like Recusit8m, I've been a Paramedic for almost 10 years. Seen a good bit of births, some good; some not so good. I have two of my own as well, now almost 6 and 4.

If you're looking for input, here's mine:

The decision to have a home birth is a personal one but IMHO one that shouldn't be taken lightly. If the birth was to occur at home, I'd make sure the midwife/doula was trained, certified and experienced in newborn CPR. I wouldn't want my child to be the first newborn a solo doula/midwife resusciated. When my oldest came out, he was blue from the neck up, limp and had a good bit of meconium that had to be suctioned.

As has been said, you'll get a lot of advice (whether you want it or not ) Do what's best for you two and--most importantly--your child.

Good luck!

EDIT: One more thing. Don't be like some homebrewers and decide that using StarSan for baby bottles is a good idea. The baby has a lot to deal with already without having to deal with acid sanitizers. It's a bad idea, dangerous, and just completely unnecessary. Baby bottles need little else than to be clean (soap and water work great!), warm, and have as much breastmilk/formula that the baby can drink.

 

[jspence1]

My advice is do whatever she wants, and bring a portable DVD player with you labor is LOOOOOONG and boring. My wife thought I was an ass when I packed it with our second, two hours staring at walls and she was glad for the distraction. She packed it when we had our third

 

[jspence1]

EDIT: One more thing. Don't be like some homebrewers and decide that using StarSan for baby bottles is a good idea. The baby has a lot to deal with already without having to deal with acid sanitizers. It's a bad idea, dangerous, and just completely unnecessary. Baby bottles need little else than to be clean (soap and water work great!), warm, and have as much breastmilk/formula that the baby can drink.

Get one of the microwave sterilizers best $20 I ever spent

 

[Revvy]

Your baby will be fine, many of us leave our "babies" in the "fermenter" for 9 months with no sign of autolysis or any off flavors.

Bubbling in the "fermenter's" "airlock" isn't a sign of "gestation", just normal flautlence. Again nothing to worry about, just don't let the "fermenter" give you a dutch oven.

With any luck you will still on occasion get to stick your "hydromter" in the "fermenter's" "bung hole." Don't worry, as long as it is sanitized it won't hurt your "baby" And will actually do you and your fermenter some good.

And, well, it's really hard to ruin your "baby" they are pretty resiliant creatures after all.....Especially once the "soft spot" hardens up. look at us, we came out ok....well most of us anyway.



I actually have no advice for you, I've never had the honor of going through this. I just wanted to further offer my congratulations to you are swmbo, my friend!



P.S. Don't forget what I said about those regular "hydrometer" readings.

 

[shecky]

I'm not a planner but more a roll-with-it kind of person, so I don't have much advice other than to enjoy it. There will be pain, screams, unsolicited advice, etc., and then the the most unbelievable joy. ENJOY IT AT ALL TIMES, even when you're asked to cut and paint toenails.

Like Cape said, leaving the hospital with the child is the strangest thing. "What are we supposed to do with this creature?" You'll figure it out in a hurry. We did twice and after almost 7 and 5 years, both creatures have survived nicely.

Whether they continue to, however, is all dependent on how crazy they drive me during the summer.

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Hell, my kid was gonna be birthed the regular way in hospital. I will spare you the details because you just don't need to hear them. There was a major panic, they rushed them off to some other place. I ended up with a fantastic C-section baby.

It's all out your hands. Just go with the flow. They won't screw up. It does not matter how good a planner you are, you will come out of this with the experience of a lifetime and the most wonderful gift you ever got.

It's really that simple for 99.9% of all the fathers you will ever meet. Congratulations!

 

[Cape Brewing]

Holy ****!?!?! You've reproduced!?!?!?!


Everybody RRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Holy ****!?!?! You've reproduced!?!?!?!


Everybody RRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Check out his sig. His sphincter just puckered!

 

[Cape Brewing]

It's not delivery-related as you were asking for but I can not sing the praises of this thing enough:

Baby wraps, baby accessory, colic, infant sleep, remedies, infant health, crying baby

Get one. trust me.

both our boys slept like rocks right outta the gates when we wrapped 'em up in this sucker. We tell all of our friends and our friends love the thing too. We have had friends with babies that didn't sleep at all, they finally listened to us and got one of these things.... "Oh my God!! the baby is sleeping great now!!"

NO ****!!! Whatta ya think we've been sayin'!!?!?

get one.

This concludes the extent of my Nazi -"DO IT" advice.

Carry on.

 

[Cape Brewing]

LOL... this is awesome...

Baby wraps, baby accessory, colic, infant sleep, remedies, infant health, crying baby

Freakin' baby STRAIGHTJACKET!!! But I'm telling you... they work incredibly well!

 

[r2eng]

ASK QUESTIONS AT EVERY STAGE OF THE PROCESS! Things happen fast, and from my experience, doc's and nurses are full of information which will help you deal with the situation.

I have two kids, both C-section.

First one... tough process. Wife had 36 hours of labor, maconium(sp) in the fluid, baby's heart rate dropping with each contraction, stressful doesn't begin to describe it. Long story short... awesome doctors and nurses, incredible experience, kid was healthy.

Second one: Flipped from head-in-canal to feet-in-canal on Christmas day.. delivered 10pm, Dec. 25th by c-section, easy as pie.

Congrat's! How far along? if she's still bakin' in the oven, I have some advice that an incredibly insightful person gave me: When you talk to your wife, make sure your head is down in the baby's region... The baby hears your wife's voice all the time, so the baby knows her. Give the kid a chance to know your voice. TRUST ME! My first kid was taken in the OR under stress... he was bawling, having trouble breathing, etc., etc. I spoke to him while he was sitting on the examination table, and he stopped crying and looked at me... calmed down like a switch was flipped.

I cannot even describe to you how that felt... still brings tears to my eyes thinking about it. Highly recommended!

 

[marubozo]

LOL... this is awesome...

Baby wraps, baby accessory, colic, infant sleep, remedies, infant health, crying baby

Freakin' baby STRAIGHTJACKET!!! But I'm telling you... they work incredibly well!

We have a similar device for ours. Not quite as elaborate as that one, but a straightjacket nonetheless. Holy **** it's the best thing ever.

Our daughter would constantly wake herself up with her hands jerking around and hitting herself in the face and stuff. You wrap her in one of these and we can get 6-7 hours of sleep without a problem. Before we discovered that I was ready to put a bullet in my head.

If you find your baby has wild hands and feet, it's the best investment you'll ever make.

 

[Ashz]

Your baby will be fine, many of us leave our "babies" in the "fermenter" for 9 months with no sign of autolysis or any off flavors.

Bubbling in the "fermenter's" "airlock" isn't a sign of "gestation", just normal flautlence. Again nothing to worry about, just don't let the "fermenter" give you a dutch oven.

With any luck you will still on occasion get to stick your "hydromter" in the "fermenter's" "bung hole." Don't worry, as long as it is sanitized it won't hurt your "baby" And will actually do you and your fermenter some good.

And, well, it's really hard to ruin your "baby" they are pretty resiliant creatures after all.....Especially once the "soft spot" hardens up. look at us, we came out ok....well most of us anyway.

Revvy, You sir win the internetz. That was awesome.

I really appreciate everyones input. This is what I was looking for. Experiences and attitudes and encouragement. Thank you all a bunch.

We are only about 15 weeks..so it's still early, but so far she still has horrendous morning sickness, which sucks. I am excited as well. Reading all these posts has made me more so. I will be thankful when all comes out well and everyone is healthy. At this point I feel useless. Other than rubbing feet and making a dinner that may or may not sit well, that's all I am able to do.

Thanks again for all the reassurance.

And yes, holy hell I have reproduced. Hopefully the clocks won't start spinning backwards at birth.


I actually have no advice for you, I've never had the honor of going through this. I just wanted to further offer my congratulations to you are swmbo, my friend!



P.S. Don't forget what I said about those regular "hydrometer" readings.

 

[Cape Brewing]

...just for the record... when I was saying "holy ****, you reproduced!?!?" I was talking about Laughing Gnome... that guy's crazy!!!

 

[Selfsufficient]

Ya know, I have read all the posts and they give advice and Tell you to settle down and relax but I'm a new father and a new brewer, 35 years old, and I was, and still am, scared sh**less. I can relax and have a homebrew but I still can't relax and not worry about my new son.

With that being said, my wife had the epidural and, missing the common sense of a "doctor", I saw the whole thing. I always knew that "super"? intelligent individuals sometimes lack common sense, but I thought the nurse would figure it out. So at 3 in the morning, they made me sit in a chair facing my wife while the epidural was administered against a wall of windows. HMMMMM black windows, lit room, needles everywhere in pre-prepared tray. It was jaw dropping, but I didn't hurt for me!!!

Needless to say, after all the drugs "they" didn't want me to see pushed into her, 3 pushes and he was out. First push, I leaned down and asked the actual doctor if that was blond hair. Two more and he was out.

Its the most amazing, stressful, scary and wonderful event to experience in your life. I still get excited about seeing the krausen layer, however it will never ever hold a candle to coming home and seeing how many new things your brand new child has learned and the smile you get when they recognize you.

Everything will be fine and congratulations in advance.

P.S. If you have dogs, the baby will drive them nuts. dadadadadadadada They go to the door expecting me.....silly animals