Gonna have a baby, is my life over

[Yesfan]

Life as you know it is over.



Not as you know it.



Hope you like cartoons.



Not until she wants another one...



Only friends with kids.



Tough one... but can be done with proper wife management.



Cars are much more efficient to traverse great distances.

Overall it's a positive experience.

Quoted for truth.


Pretty much me in every way. The friend I hang out the most with is my cousin, and it's when we are able to brew together. He also has two kids. For me, the changes didn't really start happening until my oldest was walking and running. That's when things like the "no sex" starting getting less frequent. So, you still have a couple of good years even after Jr gets here. Better buy up what you need now though.


I will say this. Nothing will ever EVER compare to the first time you lay your eyes on him/her. My oldest will turn seven in June, but I still remember vividly the very day he was born, seeing his little arms and legs flaying as he entered the world. It's a pretty powerful emotion and probably the best moment of my life since being a dad (my second boy's birth was just as emotional, he's three). Father's Day has become one of my favorite days to look forward to every year now.

On a side note, the sex part got better after we discovered she was pregnant up until delivery. I mean, what's the point in using protection, she's already pregnant, right? Talk about total freedom and holy cow did her ****s get huge!


Congrats on the new addition!

 

[moreb33rplz]

How many of your wives raise the kid 80% of the time?

 

[Singletrack]

They have a pretty good idea what causes that (kids) these days.




Most people come from a long line of families who had kid(s), so its no surprise that people, in general, think that kids are great.

 

[madscientist451]

So I found out I'm gonna be a dad for the first time, the baby is coming in November. . Will I be able to hang out with friends, make beer, go on 100km bike bike rides? I'm sure It can't be that bad, I expect it to change my life completely,

My Qualifications: 3 kids, now 22,19 and 18.
Get used to it, your life like it was before children is over.
If you don't want that to happen you are a self centered jerk.
Sorry, but that's the way I see it. I see some parents that want to carry on like the kids aren't all that important. They're only young once, soon enough they'll be out of the house, probably moving out of state and you probably won't see them very much. So then you can resume the 100km bike rides and hanging out with friends. But while they're small, go bike riding with them, hang out with them, show them how to make beer and other things you do. Teach your children well.

 

[V-Fib]

Well Sore your life is definitely going to change. I had the best thing that ever happened to me 2 years ago. My way to expensive mountain bike has only towed my daughter around in the past 2 years. My road bike... last I checked the tires were flat from just sitting there and covered in dust. I still see all my friends and we still drink beer together but not till the sun comes up since all but one is married with kids now. I've seen Happy Feet 1 and 2, The Good Dinosaur, How To Train Your Dragon 1000 times each. I can't tell you the last time I watched a full hockey, football or baseball game. Granted in the 2 years I've had my daughter I've also bought a house, fixed it up, completed college and have a full-time year round job and a full-time seasonal job on top of that but I wouldn't change anything. My daughter has opened up a entire new side of me and has made me experience emotions I never thought I a male could have. Good luck, congratulations and enjoy the ride

 

[GregsB]

You will have a new best friend that you love beyond anything you've ever imagined. I also liked what dcbarisax1 said..

As the father of 4 year old twins, it's terrifying. You have someone that is solely dependent upon you and your SWMBO. I was a partier in college, worked in the oilfields, spent 6 in the USAF, and nothing that I've done has been more rewarding than hearing those two say 'I love you, dada!' Can you still do everything that you did before, sure, maybe not as frequently at first, but it returns. In a couple years you might even have an assistant brewer on your hands. RDWHAHB. Like Bob Marley said, every little things gonna be alright. Congrats to the both of you!

 

[BlkWater_brewer]

What they said about free time - gone. Expensive toys are probably a thing of the past as well. Got rid of my motorcycle and Porsche as well. Never regretted it for a minute, and you won't either. My two girls are grown and gone, still close though. As for free time.... I have a ground floor apartment converted to my brewery and still don't have any time. Of course that is because I now do grand-daddy day care for the past 5 years for my 5 year old Isabel and now her 9 month old brother. Love every minute.

 

[Monty0124]

Congrats man!! Becoming a dad is the greatest thing I've ever done. Period. We do everything together - he's only ten but he helps me brew, we work on the hot rod, go fishing...you name it. God, I love that little dude. Enjoy every second, it'll be over before you know it.

 

[jcav]

Just saw this post. All I can say is I have 3 sons, all in their twenties now. Getting married and having my children is the best thing that has happened to me. I am married 30 years and my wife and I had our children when we were young. We had our first son when we were 24 yrs old. We wanted to be the best parents we could be. I love being a father. It was great having them young as I was young enough and had the energy to do stuff with them all the time. Taking them fishing, playing football, hockey, baseball with them, coaching their sports, hanging out with them on the weekends, going to church and everywhere on vacation with them, supporting their interests and hobbies. My kids are my life and I have raised three incredible, solid young men, and that is what is most important to me. In fact one has been married for five years and one is getting married in November. Your life will change and it will not be your own any more so to speak. But that is not bad. You will still have time for you and some hobbies. You will work out a balance to it all. Some guys are selfish though and only think about themselves and they feel the kids are in the way, and cramping their style. It sounds like you want to be a good father and you will be if you make that a priority. Kids are a blessing. Congrats, your a very lucky man!

John

 

[wallybangbang]

Best thing I ever did was have two awesome little boys! Life will change but for the better.

FYI of the hobbies I had to give up brewing was not one of them. Brewing at least keeps me at the house-which SWMBO approves of. Hope it is the same for you. Congrats!

 

[k1ngl1ves]

How many of your wives raise the kid 80% of the time?

Me: 1/3.

My wife: 2/3 plus 1/3 with me messing everything up. Lol!




I'd trade places with her in a heartbeat. I've missed most of the "milestones" with both my children in their early years. Unfortunately, a steady income is a necessary burden for a solid family. I did see my second child crawl for the first time though. I didn't stop smiling for at least a week. That was the greatest day of my life up to that point.


She won't trade places though. She says two little bosses is better than one big boss. I tend to agree...

 

[Hoppy2bmerry]

Congrats! Will life change? Of course it will and you and your wife will transition some things will go great others may take more time, but you'll work it out. You wife will appreciate the help you give her with the baby and with some house work. The reward? She just might have some energy for you sex isn't over, time for hobbies isn't over... You are a brewer, you know how to have patience. Fatherhood, make it great.

 

[steveoatley]

How many of your wives raise the kid 80% of the time?

I was a stay at home dad for first 2 1/2 years of my sons life.
I was only working part time up until he was 4
So I have only been working Full time from 4 to 8

My wife and I are 100% parents - 100% of the time
there is no 50/50 crap - you are either all in or your not !

If you put in the time to be a parent - early - teach them right from wrong
then you shouldn't have to worry about those teen age years.....
what they are doing over at so and so's house - when the are no parents home.

we have only 1 kid - so we have to get it right the first time !

2 more cents - now you have 6 - that and 4,50 will get you a coffee

Steve

 

[SharonaZamboni]

Another thing I'm really happy about is my brother is gonna have His first baby a month before me, and we're very close so at least I will have someone who's going through the same thing at the same time

If your brother lives close by, that will be awesome! Especially if your wives are friends. My former BIL and his wife had two kids while we had our three. We hung out together a lot, with the kids and sometimes we'd get a grandparent to babysit them all so we could go out.

My kids all love their three uncles, they're kind of like a more fun Dad.

 

[edroberts]

I agree with most of what has been said. I have 4, including one with special needs. Wouldn't change a thing!

As an aside. I was training for the MS 150 some years back while pulling my son in a trailer. When it came time for the ride, without the 35 pound sail on the back I absolutely FLEW. Never before did 70+ miles feel so easy.

 

[scootchu]

Your life really starts to change when they become teenagers! It's all a labor of love.

 

[Homercidal]

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
When you coming home, son?
"I don't know when. But we'll get together then, Dad.
You know we'll have a good time then."

 

[davidst]

I have a 3 year old son and another baby due in October. Yes everything will change, I rarely hang out with my single friends anymore and most of my free time is spent at home, and when I want to go out (rarely), I have to make arrangements for someone to baby sit. My son is 3 and I still don't get enough sleep, but I'm lucky that my parents want to watch him once a week which I use as my brew day.

Looking back after 3 years, I wouldn't change a thing. My kiddo is easily the best thing that's every happened to me. Nothing can beat coming home after a crappy day at work and be greeted by a little one that acts your arrival is the greatest thing in the world.

 

[NickTheGreat]

We're almost through our first year with our little girl. She's great, being a father is great, all that jazz.

Honestly though, at least for the first year you won't have time for mountain biking. Or brewing or sports. Or not nearly as much. Hell, I barely have time to mow the yard! But you won't care, because it's so much fun!

But we're odd in that we don't have any family within a few hours drive. So Grandparents come down for weekends here and there, but we can't just drop little one off for a few hours on a weekend. And I don't want to be the guy who leaves in the evening and makes my wife clean all the bottles, and dishes and cooking and . . .

People told us it gets easier after 3 months, and they were right!

 

[LandoLincoln]

How many of your wives raise the kid 80% of the time?

Six of them. The other three don't have any kids of their own.

 

[MrE_the_Great]

I'm late to the party and don't have anything more valuable to add than what's already been said. But I do have these two pictures from a recent 24-Hour brew day I completed. (YES...24 hours brewing 3:00 am to 3:08 am next day)

I have an understanding SWMBO who should be sainted...but otherwise...

Younger son helping mix grain during conditioning.

Older son opening and sanitizing airlocks.

They both LOVE to help...and I LOVE brewing with them more than before they were around.

 

[mwfripp]

Regarding sex, you and your lady need to make sure that you're making time for each other (and not just sex, though it's equally important). Believe me, there will be days that you will both be exhausted, and all you'll want to do is cuddle in bed and zone out to Netflix. Embrace it. it's YOUR time.

I couldnt've of said it better. I'm a father of a 3 and 6 year old. Shortly after my son was born I got divorced. I attribute a large portion to not staying connected to my ex. One other piece of advice. Don't forget your "me" time. Keep finding pieces of time to take and be you, ask the mrs to help but remember to give her a chance for some time. Force her to because she won't want to, she'll just want to be with the baby. Congrats.

 

[Eichler]

As an expectant father (due in July) I really appreciate the dads and brewers who are taking time out to give thoughtful and helpful responses. Like OP, I'm a little anxious and more than a little excited all knowing our lives are about to go sideways and yet grow in a big big way.

 

[Hello]

You're going to be a dad and you ask if your life is over? Sure, things change, but seriously, having a kid and being a dad has got to be pretty rad. I know a ton of people with kids who do a lot of great things, even brew. I think if someone were to tell me my life were over if I was going to be a parent then I would tell them they're stupid and far from the quality of friend I want to have.

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

How many of your wives raise the kid 80% of the time?

Only the ones getting alimony.

For us there is no percentage. We share the responsibility equally and share all of the load. If she cooks, I clean. If she washes, I fold. She mows the front yard, I mow the back yard. She wrecks the cars, I fix the cars. She washes the dishes, I dry them and put them away. I bathe the kids, she dries them and puts them away.

Tit for tat with everything, everyday. Been married 19 years now. Had a child for the last 9 of them.

 

[MrE_the_Great]

Only the ones getting alimony.

For us there is no percentage. We share the responsibility equally and share all of the load. If she cooks, I clean. If she washes, I fold. She mows the front yard, I mow the back yard. She wrecks the cars, I fix the cars. She washes the dishes, I dry them and put them away. I bathe the kids, she dries them and puts them away.

Tit for tat with everything, everyday. Been married 19 years now. Had a child for the last 9 of them.

Same...my wife is a stay at home mom, but that doesn't mean I'm not involved with the kids. I'm heavily involved from when I get home from work through bath time...then she puts one to bed while I put the other down. We try to listen to each other's needs and step up when the other needs some alone time or time to pursue a hobby. Perhaps the most important thing, however, is that we spend each evening before bed together...netflix or other fun bedtime things...just something each day for us as a couple.

Married 10 years, kids for just shy of 4

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

We did the same when the boys were babys. If she got up in the middle of the night, I got up too. While I was checking the diaper, she was preparing her ****. Or while she was changing the diaper, I was warming the milk. She fed the boy, I'd burp him and swaddle him. Then she'd put him back into the crib.

I can't even begin to explain how immensely important it is to share the load, nor can I even begin to explain the intense impact it has on your relationship.

But I can tell you that if done right, lack of sex will not be an issue.

 

[fatherdan]

"is my life over"?

do you need a hug? be a man and man up!! (sarcasm)

some of the best advice your ever gonna get is on a brewing forum. (still sarcasm)

I convinced my wife after the 7th child that a 50gall Ketttle is an excellent bathtub for newborns. (all sarcasm except the 7th child part)

As long as your thinking is not Neanderthal and you treat the mother as an equal things change but are not 'over'.

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

"is my life over"?

do you need a hug? be a man and man up!! (sarcasm)

some of the best advice your ever gonna get is on a brewing forum. (still sarcasm)

I convinced my wife after the 7th child that a 50gall Ketttle is an excellent bathtub for newborns. (all sarcasm except the 7th child part)

As long as your thinking is not Neanderthal and you treat the mother as an equal things change but are not 'over'.

7?!?

We'll, we know the sex didn't end for you.

And here I thought us going for a third was extreme. But, then again, I am no 30 something anymore either.

 

[Aristotelian]

Only the ones getting alimony.

For us there is no percentage. We share the responsibility equally and share all of the load. If she cooks, I clean. If she washes, I fold. She mows the front yard, I mow the back yard. She wrecks the cars, I fix the cars. She washes the dishes, I dry them and put them away. I bathe the kids, she dries them and puts them away.

Tit for tat with everything, everyday. Been married 19 years now. Had a child for the last 9 of them.

The part about the cars does not seem quite fair.