Funny things you've overheard about beer

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Roman1776 said:
Firewalker11 said:
The SWMBO and I went up north to a micro brewery that has a bent canoe paddle as its logo. All sorts of hipsters sitting around with suspenders and shaved sides of their heads drinking beer and having a good time.

Us old people walk in and and wait in line to get a couple of flights along with Nitro samples. The two hipsters behind us are talking about their selections, "Man, that last Nitro Cold Press Stout really woke me up, who knew that nitrous oxide could do that? Last time I had a cavity filled, they had me huff the stuff and I feel asleep."

My loving German (AKA, no filter) wife spun around and said, "I think you confused Nitrogen with Nitrous Oxide and I think its the coffee that woke you up last time you had it, not the nitro."

Blank look, slowly realizing his mistake, his eyes open really wide and says, "Really? The dentist used coffee to put me to sleep?

My wife just turned around and said, "God, just get me a beer, please?!?"

Was this in Duluth mn.?
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Firewalker11 said:
Roman1776 said:
Indeed, are YOU the Hipster? :ban:
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Don't be silly, Indeed is in Minnetonka......:)
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ThatVideoKid said:
Man drinking imperial stout at local micro: "Wow, this has a lot of coffee going on"
Brewer: "There's actually no coffee in this batch, we sometimes put some in though"
Man: "wow where do those flavors come from then, the hops?"
Brewer: "...yeah"
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chisena said:
Sounds like a classic case of the blind leading the blind. Maybe the employee was a growler filler and not the actual brewer.
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Sounds like the brewer just gave up and wanted to end the discussion. I have had to do that at work with some people who don't want to process what is being said.
 
fuzzy2133 said:
Sounds like the brewer just gave up and wanted to end the discussion. I have had to do that at work with some people who don't want to process what is being said.
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yeah pretty much, they guy knows his stuff so he definitely isn't saying what he thinks. All is good though because they are putting that stout into Herrandurra barrels! I'm pumped
 
Heineken commercial just said "made from only 3 natural ingredients." Made me laugh, but then it made me think. They would obviously know how to count, so they didn't accidentally miscount. Which makes me think that the key word there is "natural." Must mean they use hop oil instead of hops. I got a good giggle at first, and then my mind went into over analyzing mode.
 
dlaramie08 said:
Heineken commercial just said "made from only 3 natural ingredients." Made me laugh, but then it made me think. They would obviously know how to count, so they didn't accidentally miscount. Which makes me think that the key word there is "natural." Must mean they use hop oil instead of hops. I got a good giggle at first, and then my mind went into over analyzing mode.
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They just forget to count the water.
 
dlaramie08 said:
Heineken commercial just said "made from only 3 natural ingredients." Made me laugh, but then it made me think. They would obviously know how to count, so they didn't accidentally miscount. Which makes me think that the key word there is "natural." Must mean they use hop oil instead of hops. I got a good giggle at first, and then my mind went into over analyzing mode.
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Wort, yeast, UV radiation
 
Kee said:
That is funny (or sad?) but with Gulden Draak being on the menu they can call the Guinness whatever they like.
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My favorite place in Boston almost always has delirium tremmens and gulden draak 9000 on tap, it's fantastic. However they do manage to list Guinness under "light stouts"
 
belongs in this thread AND Epic Pictures/Memes

254.jpg
 
Eh, there is a time and a place for almost every beer.

I like Miller Lite. Of all of the light beers, I think it is the only one that tastes like beer. I like to swill a few on a hot summer day when I'm hanging by the pool and don't want to get hammered.

Some of you will think that is a funny thing that you overheard about beer...;)
 
TL: DR Beer is not required to have hops. :tank:

I while researching the chemisty behind skunked beer I read the following and got a little chuckle.

"In fact, American and German beers are required by law to contain at least a small amount of hops." http://www.professorbeer.com/articles/skunked_beer.html

But then I thought "Well, I know that the Reinheitsgebot limited beer ingredients to barley, hops, and water. But are all three required. And what about US laws."

So I got my nerd on and looked up the US law.
http://www.ecfr.gov/cgi-bin/retriev...a1ae108e6c&mc=true&n=pt27.1.25&r=PART&ty=HTML

Title 27 → Chapter I → Subchapter A → Part 25 → Subpart B → §25.11 Defines beer as

" Beer. Beer, ale, porter, stout, and other similar fermented beverages (including saké and similar products) of any name or description containing one-half of one percent or more of alcohol by volume, brewed or produced from malt, wholly or in part, or from any substitute for malt. Standards for the production of beer appear in §25.15."

Checking on §25.15 "Materials for the production of beer", we find the following.

(a) Beer must be brewed from malt or from substitutes for malt. Only rice, grain of any kind, bran, glucose, sugar, and molasses are substitutes for malt. In addition, you may also use the following materials as adjuncts in fermenting beer: honey, fruit, fruit juice, fruit concentrate, herbs, spices, and other food materials.

(There is a paragraph (b) but it only discusses additional sources of alcohol.)

So, I find no basis in US law that requires the use of hops in beer.

(I also found funny that the US govt definition of beer doesn't specifically mention lager, but includes ale, porter, stout and saké.)

Yes, I know, I have a strange sense of humor. :fro:
:goat:
 
I find this strange, cause I seem to recall there being something in multiple episodes of the Dogfish Head Brewmasters show where they talked about having to use some hops in all of their beer for some legal reason....or was that malt? Should look up what that is all about.
 
Kiichi said:
I find this strange, cause I seem to recall there being something in multiple episodes of the Dogfish Head Brewmasters show where they talked about having to use some hops in all of their beer for some legal reason....or was that malt? Should look up what that is all about.
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I checked the Delaware Administrative code and found this general definition in Title 4 Alcoholic Beverage Control.

(5) "Beer" means any beverage containing more than one half of 1 percent of ethyl alcohol by volume, obtained by the alcoholic fermentation of any infusion or decoction of barley malt and hops in water and includes, among other things, ale, porter, stout and other malt or brewed liquors.​

However, Texas uses the following general definitions.

(12) "Ale" or "malt liquor" means a malt beverage containing more than four percent of alcohol by weight.

(15) "Beer" means a malt beverage containing one-half of one percent or more of alcohol by volume and not more than four percent of alcohol by weight.​

But then in Sec. 109.21. HOME PRODUCTION OF WINE, ALE, MALT LIQUOR, OR BEER. of the regulations has this statement

" Only ale, malt liquor, or beer made from the normal alcoholic fermentation of malted barley with hops, or their products, and with or without other malted or unmalted cereals, may be produced under this section. "​


So I guess everyone in Delaware and home brewers in Texas better add those hops. But you can make un-hopped commercial beer in Texas.

Does anyone here have a un-hopped recipe that is any good? Or anything that is actually funny?

:goat:
 
renrutle said:
Does anyone here have a un-hopped recipe that is any good? Or anything that is actually funny?
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The website gruitale.com presumably has a few recipes.

There are several good ones (un-hopped beers, that is, not funny things) in the book Sacred and Healing Herbal Beers, with a focus on those with some mildly entheogenic properties such as yarrow. The historical part of the book is about 7/10ths bull****, but still fun to read.

Check the section on the recipe database on fruit and herb beers, especially for the ones marked 'gruit'. I don't know which ones are actually any good, though.

I did find these in a forum search on 'gruit'
https://www.homebrewtalk.com/showthread.php?t=204033
https://www.homebrewtalk.com/showthread.php?t=237269

Keep in mind, however, the main reason hops came to dominate over other herbs in beer: it's antibacterial properties. You may need to be a bit more assiduous in your sanitation without it, or else do as the Lambic brewers do and use just enough aged, low-alpha hops to keep the less desirable microflora in check (though in that case they are doing it that way in part to encourage microbiota that most other brewers avoid - they want to control and guide the mix of wild fungi and bacteria without killing off the ones they want - so there's still some risk at that unless you really like brett and pedio character).
 
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Schol-R-LEA said:
The website gruitale.com presumably has a few recipes.

There are several good ones (un-hopped beers, that is, not funny things) in the book Sacred and Healing Herbal Beers, with a focus on those with some mildly entheogenic properties such as yarrow. The historical part of the book is about 7/10ths bull****, but still fun to read.

Check the section on the recipe database on fruit and herb beers, especially for the ones marked 'gruit'. I don't know which ones are actually any good, though.

I did find these in a forum search on 'gruit'
https://www.homebrewtalk.com/showthread.php?t=204033
https://www.homebrewtalk.com/showthread.php?t=237269

Keep in mind, however, the main reason hops came to dominate over other herbs in beer: it's antibacterial properties.
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Gruits can be really nice, just don't go into it expecting what you normally think of as beer. If you do, you will be sorely disappointed. Sacred and Herbal Healing Beers is an incredibly interesting book, just read it with care as mentioned above as there is plenty of author's opinion in it. There is also a TON of valuable information, however. As far as any mild narcotic properties, I think you would have to drink somewhere around a 6 pack in one sitting. I drank three in a row once and the buzz was definitely a little different than if I had drank three standard beers, but it was subtle.

I've made three and am about to do another, and 2/3 were clean as can be. The one that got infected I added fresh flowering yarrow tops in the fermenting vessel, cut directly from a field. Guess there was some wild yeast on those ;) Turned out to be a very tart sour, almost like lemonade, so not all was lost.
 
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renrutle said:
TL: DR Beer is not required to have hops. :tank:

I while researching the chemisty behind skunked beer I read the following and got a little chuckle.

"In fact, American and German beers are required by law to contain at least a small amount of hops." http://www.professorbeer.com/articles/skunked_beer.html

But then I thought "Well, I know that the Reinheitsgebot limited beer ingredients to barley, hops, and water. But are all three required. And what about US laws."

So I got my nerd on and looked up the US law.
http://www.ecfr.gov/cgi-bin/retriev...a1ae108e6c&mc=true&n=pt27.1.25&r=PART&ty=HTML

Title 27 → Chapter I → Subchapter A → Part 25 → Subpart B → §25.11 Defines beer as

" Beer. Beer, ale, porter, stout, and other similar fermented beverages (including saké and similar products) of any name or description containing one-half of one percent or more of alcohol by volume, brewed or produced from malt, wholly or in part, or from any substitute for malt. Standards for the production of beer appear in §25.15."

Checking on §25.15 "Materials for the production of beer", we find the following.

(a) Beer must be brewed from malt or from substitutes for malt. Only rice, grain of any kind, bran, glucose, sugar, and molasses are substitutes for malt. In addition, you may also use the following materials as adjuncts in fermenting beer: honey, fruit, fruit juice, fruit concentrate, herbs, spices, and other food materials.

(There is a paragraph (b) but it only discusses additional sources of alcohol.)

So, I find no basis in US law that requires the use of hops in beer.

(I also found funny that the US govt definition of beer doesn't specifically mention lager, but includes ale, porter, stout and saké.)

Yes, I know, I have a strange sense of humor. :fro:
:goat:
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I find this hilarious! So you are telling me that my Hard Cider (by this definition),made from glucose and the adjunct of apple juice.... is beer??
 
I highly doubt the US or various state governments care about style guidelines or recipe choices. I'm assuming these laws are more concerned with how a product should be taxed. I'm sure they're not saying you can't sell an unhopped beer, rather that it will probably be taxed as a wine, or malt beverage instead.
I'm gonna go ahead and say a cider is a cider.
 
masonsjax said:
I highly doubt the US or various state governments care about style guidelines or recipe choices. I'm assuming these laws are more concerned with how a product should be taxed. I'm sure they're not saying you can't sell an unhopped beer, rather that it will probably be taxed as a wine, or malt beverage instead.
I'm gonna go ahead and say a cider is a cider.
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Is cider ale? This sounds like a definition for ale rather than beer.

...and now I'm considering fermenting cider with a lager strain.

...oooooohhh...I bet cider with 3711 or 3724 would be pretty great.
 
Not really a funny thing I overheard, but I was at a relatively fancy restaurant Saturday night for a friend's birthday party. Their beer selection was mediocre, but they did have a couple of craftier options. I ordered an Amsterdam Boneshaker IPA (7.1%, 80 IBU), which is a nice, very hoppy, very bitter unfiltered IPA. She brought it to me in the bottle. Eventually, I realized she wasn't going to bring me a glass, so I stopped her and requested one. "Sure, I'll bring you an ice mug." Ugh.
 
A local brewpub tapped a new sour and I was asking the bartender what style it is. "It's a sour." Yes, but do you know what style? "Well it's like.. sour, so it has like a bitter sour taste." Mmm that sounds good, I'll have that.

It's a Berliner Wiess with a subtle amount of apricot added. Delicious. The staff really should get some lessons on beer styles. At least be familiar with their own offerings.
 
masonsjax said:
A local brewpub tapped a new sour and I was asking the bartender what style it is. "It's a sour." Yes, but do you know what style? "Well it's like.. sour, so it has like a bitter sour taste." Mmm that sounds good, I'll have that.

It's a Berliner Wiess with a subtle amount of apricot added. Delicious. The staff really should get some lessons on beer styles. At least be familiar with their own offerings.
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heck, yeah, that

brewpub servers should know a little bit about their own beers, even if they have to have cheat sheets with a few adjectives they can use

I give restaurant servers a break, at least about beer, but they should at least know the food being served

comes down to it, it's a failure by management to properly train the staff

think this has come up more than once in this thread. even more often than statistics & economics
 

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