Funny things you've overheard about beer

[TheCADJockey]

Wow, that joke went over everyone's head

Welcome to the thread. That's what happens here.

 

[benco]

View attachment ImageUploadedByHome Brew1457032022.756838.jpg

 

[hunter_le five]

Groan.

 

[TheCADJockey]

Groan.

Get it?

 

[fuzzy2133]

I broke a plastic test cylinder. The hydrometer was not in it, but in a clumsy moment while cleaning up, I somehow smacked the top of it with the side of my hand (karate chop style) and it tumbled to the ground on its edge, cracking a chunk off the top. Still haven't broken a hydrometer though.

Diddo just not with a karate chop. Had it sitting on top of the mini fridge. It broke in 3 pieces and would no hold enough to float the hydro.

 

[Jwin]

Stay away from the glass hydro jars on amazon. Broke mine first brew day. Sat hydrometer in it and slid it on an incline an inch to the bottom. Bottom of the jar broke right out.

 

[Zepth]

They went through all that trouble and got the 2-color border wrong. Plus, no sorcery is gonna have split-second tacked onto it

Really? You're not going to bite on the fact that a sorcery has a 2/0 in the bottom right corner?

And yes, I'm late on this one. I admit this. Let's move on.

 

[mesooohoppy]

My boss came into my office yesterday and hands me a bomber of some cider. She says 'you drink ale, right?'

Atleast she means well.

 

[Wolfdust]

I took my my wife and kid who is 3 1/2 year old to lhbs. My son thinks all beer is juice, so when he sees all beer stuff I tell him we are at the juice store. He sees the kegs in the corner and goes "Psssss", points to the hydrometer and spins his little fingers. See the grain and places his hand out and goes rrrrrrrr with the drill. The best is when he saw the mash tun cooler and says mixa mixa while making a stirring motion. Yep we have a future homebrewer.

 

[cyanmonkey]

I took my my wife and kid who is 3 1/2 year old to lhbs. My son thinks all beer is juice, so when he sees all beer stuff I tell him we are at the juice store. He sees the kegs in the corner and goes "Psssss", points to the hydrometer and spins his little fingers. See the grain and places his hand out and goes rrrrrrrr with the drill. The best is when he saw the mash tun cooler and says mixa mixa while making a stirring motion. Yep we have a future homebrewer.

Mine likes to watch, too. Every few seconds, what's that?

Well, like I said just two seconds ago, it's a grain mill.

"Grain mill...what's that?"

Well, it's still a grain mill. It crushes grain. Makes it small.

"Oh.......what's that?"

So on and so forth.

 

[GrogNerd]

Mine likes to watch, too. Every few seconds, what's that?

Well, like I said just two seconds ago, it's a grain mill.

"Grain mill...what's that?"

Well, it's still a grain mill. It crushes grain. Makes it small.

"Oh.......what's that?"

So on and so forth.

reminds me of my former roommate's 2-year-old while we're watching cartoons

"that Scooby Doo?"

"yeah, buddy... Scooby Doo"

"why?"

"whoa, not enough coffee and way too early to get this existential, k, buddy?"

"why?"

"exactly. now, watch the cartoons"

 

[joshesmusica]

Mine likes to watch, too. Every few seconds, what's that?

Well, like I said just two seconds ago, it's a grain mill.

"Grain mill...what's that?"

Well, it's still a grain mill. It crushes grain. Makes it small.

"Oh.......what's that?"

So on and so forth.

Reminds me of my floccing brewing partner sometimes. Every week asks if he can run through the process to see if he's getting it down. Every week he forgets something that he got right the previous week. Always shows up late and hungover. Which of I brewed as early as some of you wouldn't be an difficult thing to understand. But we normally plan to start at 1 or 2 in the afternoon...

Only reason I keep him around is because it means I get to fit more styles into my monthly budget, and now I've started making him do all the cleaning, since I'm doing so much set up before he finally arrives.

 

[bleme]

When my oldest was about 3, she used to spend every Sunday afternoon over at my SIL's to give my wife and I a break. Well, my BIL drinks Bud Lite and they always told her it was "blue soda". One day he left a half-full can in her reach and she snuck a sip, then went and told my SIL that "Uncle B's blue soda is nasty!". Yes it is...

 

[Trippel-A]

My daughter loves to help me with "beer projects" but she asks me to open the mashtun cooler too often and loses interest fast. If she can stay focused, she's pretty good at vorlaufing.

 

[NickTheGreat]

I was at the grocery store yesterday and they were giving out samples of some various Schlafly stuff. The dude was telling this young fellow about this stout of theirs. He mentioned he doesn't particularly likes stouts, but a lot of people comment on the roasted, coffee taste you get from the higher alcohol content.

I really wanted to say something, but didn't get involved.

 

[mcspanner]

When I used to have a LHBS I would call in with my daughter when I needed to pick anything up. Once we called in to get some grains and there was another customer standing at the counter chatting to the owner. I had a quick browse whilst they talked and it was obvious the guy was a noob. Anyway, after a few minutes, the owner said to the customer "Can you excuse me a minute, this guy (me) will only take a second to serve- he'll be here for his grains"

We went into the grain room and the little one stayed by the counter. When we came back through a minute later I heard Niamh saying to the guy "... And this is an airlock. You'll need one of these because the yeast fart co2 and wee alcohol so the co2 needs to escape. And this is a thermometer you want it because ...etc, etc" Whilst he nodded and took the stuff off her and put them in his basket.

I couldn't stop chuckling all the way home and the owner later told me that the guy had been unsure as to whether brewing was something he'd get the hang of but after we left had said "if an 8 year old girl can figure this out I'll give it a go".

I should have got her on commission

 

[brewshki]

When I used to have a LHBS I would call in with my daughter when I needed to pick anything up. Once we called in to get some grains and there was another customer standing at the counter chatting to the owner. I had a quick browse whilst they talked and it was obvious the guy was a noob. Anyway, after a few minutes, the owner said to the customer "Can you excuse me a minute, this guy (me) will only take a second to serve- he'll be here for his grains"

We went into the grain room and the little one stayed by the counter. When we came back through a minute later I heard Niamh saying to the guy "... And this is an airlock. You'll need one of these because the yeast fart co2 and wee alcohol so the co2 needs to escape. And this is a thermometer you want it because ...etc, etc" Whilst he nodded and took the stuff off her and put them in his basket.

I couldn't stop chuckling all the way home and the owner later told me that the guy had been unsure as to whether brewing was something he'd get the hang of but after we left had said "if an 8 year old girl can figure this out I'll give it a go".

I should have got her on commission

Bahahahha, that's awesome

 

[Jwin]

When I used to have a LHBS I would call in with my daughter when I needed to pick anything up. Once we called in to get some grains and there was another customer standing at the counter chatting to the owner. I had a quick browse whilst they talked and it was obvious the guy was a noob. Anyway, after a few minutes, the owner said to the customer "Can you excuse me a minute, this guy (me) will only take a second to serve- he'll be here for his grains"

We went into the grain room and the little one stayed by the counter. When we came back through a minute later I heard Niamh saying to the guy "... And this is an airlock. You'll need one of these because the yeast fart co2 and wee alcohol so the co2 needs to escape. And this is a thermometer you want it because ...etc, etc" Whilst he nodded and took the stuff off her and put them in his basket.

I couldn't stop chuckling all the way home and the owner later told me that the guy had been unsure as to whether brewing was something he'd get the hang of but after we left had said "if an 8 year old girl can figure this out I'll give it a go".

I should have got her on commission

Yes!

 

[unionrdr]

It always amazed me how little girls can learn so fast when they want to! Our daughter did things something like that as a child.

 

[OleBrewing]

saw this. I'm confused.

 

[mcspanner]

saw this. I'm confused.

See earlier posts where Hoppy=carbonation [emoji482]

 

[GrogNerd]

My Grodziskie must be the hoppiest beer ever

23 IBU and carbed at 3.5 volumes

 

[mcspanner]

My Grodziskie must be the hoppiest beer ever

23 IBU and carbed at 3.5 volumes

Anything hoppier than 2.75 volumes is theoretical anyhow.

 

[GrogNerd]

Anything hoppier than 2.75 volumes is theoretical anyhow.

I used carbonation extract to get it that high

 

[zmanzorro]

Don't forget dry carbing.

 

[mcspanner]

Don't forget dry carbing.

Yeah but dry carbing won't actually increase the volumes, it's more about the fresh carbonation aroma.

 

[Trippel-A]

You'd think the people who work in beer marketing would required to know the basics.

 

[slym2none]

Oh, Guinness...

 

[JTM88]

You'd think the people who work in beer marketing would required to know the basics.

You'd think people that worked in any kind of marketing would know basics. I've seen ads for all sorts of things that make absolutely no sense.

 

[masonsjax]

Extreme!