Funny things you've overheard about beer

[unionrdr]

Billy, you're up!

 

[Ike]

Somewhat related to the thread, but only somewhat:

At dinner with wife and friends, discussing our cross-country move and new jobs. Discussion turns to what will happen to the fridge in which my wife currently keeps medication samples, and whether we will sell it or use it for additional storage, or whatever.

...wife slowly shakes her head. "No, Ike's already said he's going to use it for homebrewing. He's going to Frankenstein the f*ck out of that thing."

I was proud of her; the comment was all hers, completely not prompted by me.

Yes I will, dear... YES I WILL.

 

[Bosh]

Some of us (myself included) use those polypin cubes now, but not as a fermenting vessel. Beer can be packaged in them at low volumes of carbonation (like 1.2-1.5) and served with a spigot for results similar to a cask ale.

Alright, not funny. Somebody smack me

But but but Home Brewing Without Failure says if you do that most of the carbonation will be released with the first pint and the rest will be flat.

 

[DrunkleJon]

Hence it is mimicking cask ale. Without the risk if infection. Cask ale is carbonated lower generally and is usually is mechanical pour

 

[unionrdr]

Does that mean my lil tuner needs a bigger beer engine?

 

[1fast636]

This is full of awesome fail pop the top every day to relive the pressure, well
Just let it ferment out and add the proper amount of sugar at bottling so you don't have this problem lol

http://www.everintransit.com/sima-recipe-finnish-fermented-lemonade/

 

[1fast636]

Might have to brew that tho to see how it turns out using good yeast not bread and fermented out fully then bottle

 

[Renegades_Brew]

This is full of awesome fail pop the top every day to relive the pressure, well
Just let it ferment out and add the proper amount of sugar at bottling so you don't have this problem lol

http://www.everintransit.com/sima-recipe-finnish-fermented-lemonade/

Not super different than this:

http://skeeterpee.com/?page_id=17

 

[Bosh]

OK, a few more pearls of wisdom from Home Brewing Without Failures (1965 home brewing guide):
-He recommends using brown or "burnt" sugar or even "gravy browning" to get the proper color for darker beers when you don't use many darker malts.
-He says you can get yeast from a bottle of commercial "Schlitz or Budweiser" and make a starter out of that.
-"The practice of using yeast from bottled beers can only be done successfully when the beers are dark; this is because only dark beers have a yeast deposit. Bright, light, sparkling ales do not have them." This seems to directly contradict what he said one page ago...
-He makes an aside about wine yeast and says that 14% abv kills wine yeast dead so if you want sweet wine you just add sugar beyond what is necessary for 14% abv and then the yeast will die and the rest of the sugar will remain in the wine and sweeten it.
-Another reference to skimming off ale krausen.
-Table salt is a good yeast nutrient so it's good to put in your beer.
-While a secondary gets an airlock, the primary should get a sheet of plastic with holes punched it in stretched over the top.
-As draught beers, by definition, have no carbonation if you want them to have head you have to buy "heading liquid" and add it to your draught beers. Would love a "well actually" about "heading liquid."
-If you don't use a brown bottle for your beer "the colour and sometimes the quality of the beer will suffer." This seems to be a reference to skunking but color? Huh?
-"The heavy froth one sees on the top of most stouts and particularly Guinness -- to which I am especially partial -- is mostly yeast forced to the top of the glass by the gas rising."

Love the "well actually"s I'm getting from my posts in this books, it's interesting to see what's real brewing history and what's the author being dumb.

 

[thatjonguy]

Not sure if this is funny/sad/something else. But it is interesting.

“When I copied the famous Even More Jesus, I had to ask myself as an artist, why am I doing this? I didn't honestly know. It was just an instinct about beer as pure form… in a sense this stout is like a metaphor for freedom - the sum of all the beauty that surrounds me and my perfect contemporary existence.”
- Jeppe Jarnit-Bjergsø, Brewer and founder of Evil Twin Brewing

 

[ericbw]

OK, a few more pearls of wisdom from Home Brewing Without Failures (1965 home brewing guide):
-He recommends using brown or "burnt" sugar or even "gravy browning" to get the proper color for darker beers when you don't use many darker malts.
-He says you can get yeast from a bottle of commercial "Schlitz or Budweiser" and make a starter out of that.
-"The practice of using yeast from bottled beers can only be done successfully when the beers are dark; this is because only dark beers have a yeast deposit. Bright, light, sparkling ales do not have them." This seems to directly contradict what he said one page ago...
-He makes an aside about wine yeast and says that 14% abv kills wine yeast dead so if you want sweet wine you just add sugar beyond what is necessary for 14% abv and then the yeast will die and the rest of the sugar will remain in the wine and sweeten it.
-Another reference to skimming off ale krausen.
-Table salt is a good yeast nutrient so it's good to put in your beer.
-While a secondary gets an airlock, the primary should get a sheet of plastic with holes punched it in stretched over the top.
-As draught beers, by definition, have no carbonation if you want them to have head you have to buy "heading liquid" and add it to your draught beers. Would love a "well actually" about "heading liquid."
-If you don't use a brown bottle for your beer "the colour and sometimes the quality of the beer will suffer." This seems to be a reference to skunking but color? Huh?
-"The heavy froth one sees on the top of most stouts and particularly Guinness -- to which I am especially partial -- is mostly yeast forced to the top of the glass by the gas rising."

Love the "well actually"s I'm getting from my posts in this books, it's interesting to see what's real brewing history and what's the author being dumb.

The only well actually I have is about making sweet wine. That's a way to do it. The yeast will eat some and die. Anything over that amount will remain and sweeten the wine.

You could kill or filter the yeast instead.

 

[unionrdr]

Now that's some funny stuff right there. Talk about the blind leading the blind! I never heard such ridiculous things, even back then when pop was making wine & beer. Mostly the beer stuff is whaaaa?...

 

[Kiichi]

Not sure if this is funny/sad/something else. But it is interesting.

“When I copied the famous Even More Jesus, I had to ask myself as an artist, why am I doing this? I didn't honestly know. It was just an instinct about beer as pure form… in a sense this stout is like a metaphor for freedom - the sum of all the beauty that surrounds me and my perfect contemporary existence.”
- Jeppe Jarnit-Bjergsø, Brewer and founder of Evil Twin Brewing

Ah yes, the bottle text of "I love you with my stout" by him, a bottle of which resides in my fridge. Never really understood that though.

 

[thatjonguy]

Ah yes, the bottle text of "I love you with my stout" by him, a bottle of which resides in my fridge. Never really understood that though.

Me neither. What's the point of renaming Even More Jesus?

Just call it what it is and leave the marketing smoke and mirrors to BMC run brands.

 

[Bosh]

Now that's some funny stuff right there. Talk about the blind leading the blind! I never heard such ridiculous things, even back then when pop was making wine & beer. Mostly the beer stuff is whaaaa?...

Ah, I thought the high alcohol didn`t kill the yeast but just made it inactive.

 

[unionrdr]

Obviously, he didn't score well in life science class. Salt a yeast nutrient? WTF?

 

[BreezyBrew]

Not sure if this has been brought up before, but Jim Koch seems to think that eating dry yeast before a night of drinking kills his hangovers: http://www.npr.org/blogs/thesalt/20...does-eating-yeast-keep-you-from-getting-drunk

Scientifically, this doesn't make any sense to me.

 

[DrunkleJon]

Not sure if this has been brought up before, but Jim Koch seems to think that eating dry yeast before a night of drinking kills his hangovers: http://www.npr.org/blogs/thesalt/20...does-eating-yeast-keep-you-from-getting-drunk

Scientifically, this doesn't make any sense to me.

I think that is just a cruel joke on his part. All eating dry yeast will do is give you a severe case of mudbutt and toxic green gas.

A friend of mine told me he was going to try it. I warned him. Got a text the next morning saying "You were right!!!!!!"

Frankly I just think Jim Koch is just a (mostly)functional alcoholic.

 

[mcspanner]

-He recommends using brown or "burnt" sugar or even "gravy browning" to get the proper color for darker beers when you don't use many darker malts.
.

View attachment ImageUploadedByHome Brew1429628811.798009.jpgView attachment ImageUploadedByHome Brew1429628829.195962.jpg

I'm going to call a "well actually" on that after finding this usage instruction on a bottle of browning. Have never tried it and I suspect the last time that label design was reviewed was around the time that book was published, but still....

 

[unionrdr]

Especially since there's more salt than glucose syrup by the ingredients list...

 

[1977Brewer]

Especially since there's more salt than glucose syrup by the ingredients list...

Not to mention "Colour E150C" which...yeah.

 

[JonM]

Oh my - There was a Simpsons where Principal Skinner yells "good gravy!" and the cook, who is off to the side, says "oh, thank you. It's just brown and water." That stuff is the "brown."

 

[masonsjax]

http://www.snopes.com/medical/homecure/yeast.asp

 

[Bosh]

Wow reading back through the old pages it`s amazing how many myths get attached to Guinness. It`d be interesting to brew a beer that really is what many people believe Guinness to be.

 

[DrunkleJon]

Wow reading back through the old pages it`s amazing how many myths get attached to Guinness. It`d be interesting to brew a beer that really is what many people believe Guinness to be.

It would probably bee too rich and boozy for them to stomach. It would pretty much be a vitamin rich imperial oatmeal milk stout bock

 

[Billy-Klubb]

It would probably bee too rich and boozy for them to stomach. It would pretty much be a vitamin rich imperial oatmeal milk stout bock

that's the stuff I have in the bottom of my Miller Golden 64 Ultra Light barrel. goats won't even drink that stuff.

 

[n240sxguy]

Wow reading back through the old pages it`s amazing how many myths get attached to Guinness. It`d be interesting to brew a beer that really is what many people believe Guinness to be.

If you made a beer to match the legends of Guinness, it would taste like Worcestershire sauce, and I would love it.

 

[amfukuda]

I was talking to a girl the other day about beer it went something like this
Me. What kind of beer do you like
Her. Oh I'v tried them all
Me. Really like what
Her. miller highlife bud light corona....
Me. Sweetheart you haven't even started

 

[Bosh]

It would probably bee too rich and boozy for them to stomach. It would pretty much be a vitamin rich imperial oatmeal milk stout bock

Hmmmm doing some brainstorming...
-Get a wheat yeast strain with high low attenuation to leave a lot of sugars in. Having yeast in suspension makes it thicker. Anf othef stuff can overpower the wheat yeast taste.
-Enough base malt to get to 10% or so ABV.
-Every trick in the book to get thicker beer. Oats etc. etc.
-Enough roased malts to get it midnight black.
-Big handful of magnum bittering hops to blance out all the above. Some European hops of some sort for late addition.

Hmmmmmm....

 

[Trippel-A]

If you made a beer to match the legends of Guinness, it would taste like Worcestershire sauce, and I would love it.

Dark Lord 2012 tasted like Worcestershire sauce when I tried one in January. I hope it's temporary.