Funny things you've overheard about beer

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I knew a girl who would refuse to drink any kind of beer because she thinks she has a yeast sensitivity. Even after explaining to her that most beer is pasteurized, which kills the yeast, and that she's more likely to be exposed to yeast by walking into her kitchen, she still didn't believe me.
 
I knew a girl who would refuse to drink any kind of beer because she thinks she has a yeast sensitivity. Even after explaining to her that most beer is pasteurized, which kills the yeast, and that she's more likely to be exposed to yeast by walking into her kitchen, she still didn't believe me.

Waiting for the well actually.
 
Apparently, there's something like a craft beer equivalent of The Onion out there. How did I not know this before? There were several funny articles on there, but this one seemed especially appropriate, since I see most of the types mentioned in an average day on this forum:

http://www.inebriateinquirer.com/the-7-worst-types-of-people-on-every-beer-forum/

"The ability to churn out trillions of identical turds doesn’t change the fact that at the end of the day all you’ve got to show for yourself is a bunch of poo."

Awesome.


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I knew a girl who would refuse to drink any kind of beer because she thinks she has a yeast sensitivity. Even after explaining to her that most beer is pasteurized, which kills the yeast, and that she's more likely to be exposed to yeast by walking into her kitchen, she still didn't believe me.


I could go a number of directions with this, but I'll bow out.


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I started to explain how the yeast consumes the sugar he stopped me and said "So now you know more then a Nutritionist?" No just more then that one..... All the while he drinking a Monster energy drink:p


Considering that you can become a "nutritionist" without ever having to study anything, I would have said Yes. Depending on where you are in the world, "nutritionist" isn't much of a title. Just requires some money and an internet connection.


But I digress


Sent from tropical Finland
 
On the nutritionist topic, but not about beer... My brother's girl friend told my wife that her nutritionist that goat cheese wasn't dairy.

And sorry about my contribution to the "I'm not a hipster" derailment.


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On the nutritionist topic, but not about beer... My brother's girl friend told my wife that her nutritionist that goat cheese wasn't dairy.

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What, pray tell, does she think it is?


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I just had a friend say that he'll never drink Guinness again because he found out they put fish guts in it. I'm ok with my friends swearing off Guinness, but it should be because it's a boring watery imposter BMC posing as a beer, not because of some click bait smear campaign.
 
I started to explain how the yeast consumes the sugar he stopped me and said "So now you know more then a Nutritionist?" No just more then that one..... All the while he drinking a Monster energy drink:p

Whenever I hear something like this re: sugar/corn sugar, etc in beer, I want to respond in John Cleese Dead Parrot sketch voice: "This is ex-sugar! The sugar is no more! It has ceased to be!"
 
I just had a friend say that he'll never drink Guinness again because he found out they put fish guts in it. I'm ok with my friends swearing off Guinness, but it should be because it's a boring watery imposter BMC posing as a beer, not because of some click bait smear campaign.

If you use isinglass or whirfloc in your beers you can keep the free loader from drinking all your beer.
 
He should realize that most beers have a clarifier used on them. I don't use them because I'm a purist and I'm cheap. The Irish moss I tried didn't make enough difference for me to justify another expense. It was a little more clear though. With a little extra time it becomes unnecessary.

A plant down the road from mine makes a clarifier for beer. I would much rather have "fish guts" in beer than a plastic based clarifier.


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I found that gelatin wasn't getting my beer clear enough... so now I boil horse and pig bones with my hops... gets my beer so clear!

When I first started brewing, a former friend of mine was told that drinking a pint of homebrew had the sugar-equivalency of several donuts. I simply told him that my beer has no more sugar in it than any microbrew... so his friend could suck my balls.

Also.. turns out my stepdad didn't know there were calories in beer. :S
 
I like to pretend there aren't. Make me feel much less guilty about killing a 6-pack in one sitting. :drunk:

Apparently the "proper" beer diet includes massive carb cutting and replacing it with beer intake. I heard this, liked it, so did absolutely no research to determine if it's true or not. It would be terrible to look into it and have hopes and dreams milled. I mean crushed.
 
ImageUploadedByHome Brew1398731722.531729.jpg


This, it's supposed to be a fine dining menu and the dude puts "ale". They're all ales bro. This is why I hate most menus with beer pairings


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Was at my local pizza parlor the other day when i heard something that almost made me blow microbrew out my nose. Now theres something you should know about this place they serve like 50 different local in state microbrews on tap in cans in bottles, it is a beautiful thing to behold. Aside from this, they also carry budwiser in bottles and miller highlife in bottles, to appease the uneducated i suppose. Either way, so a guy comes in and after struggling to read the huge menu of all these craft beers asks if Budwiser is the only "American beer" they have. Maybe i'm just a smartass but most of these brews come from within 50 miles. Couldnt help myself. *Facepalm*
 
I read some of the comments... *shudder*

People can be frighteningly stupid.

I would guess there were 1000s more comments, from people here at HBT and other brewers pointing out all the errors in the article

but that doesn't help advance the agenda foodbabe is pushing, so our comments have been deleted.
 
Foodbabe's nonsense reminds me of Colbert's Truthiness:

"Guys like us, we're not some brainiacs on the nerd patrol. We're not members of the factinista. We go straight from the gut. Right, sir?

That's where the truth lies, right down here in the gut. Do you know you have more nerve endings in your gut than you have in your head? You can look it up. Now, I know some of you are going to say, 'I did look it up, and that's not true.' That's 'cause you looked it up in a book. Next time, look it up in your gut. I did. My gut tells me that's how our nervous system works."
 
Either way, so a guy comes in and after struggling to read the huge menu of all these craft beers asks if Budwiser is the only "American beer" they have. Maybe i'm just a smartass but most of these brews come from within 50 miles. Couldnt help myself. *Facepalm*

I hope part of your response included who owns Budwiser now.
 
I was actually at a restaurant last week where they didn't list Fat Tire and Sam Adams under the "Import" section of drinks menu! :drunk:

They did have a separate "Craft" section, so don't worry, they could still charge more :D
 
I hope part of your response included who owns Budwiser now.

The same people who've owned it for a long time. Shareholders from around the world.

Or did you mean where their corporate headquarters happen to be? 'Cause their breweries are where they've always been - in the US. I don't think they make any actual beer at their corporate headquarters.

Isn't Globalization great? Borders? What borders?
 
They did have a separate "Craft" section, so don't worry, they could still charge more :D

As annoying as the whole "2-tier pricing" model is, I've got to say, at least the "Craft/Macroswill" designations make more sense than the outdated "Domestic/Import" split. There's so much variety in beer now, and they have such unique costs due to so many factors, I would prefer they simply have 1 section called "Beer" and list an individual price for each one. I understand that it costs a lot more to make a glass of Dogfish Head 120 Minute IPA than it does to make a Coors Lite. But there's no reason a Stella Artois should cost the same as a Stone Ruination.
 
As annoying as the whole "2-tier pricing" model is, I've got to say, at least the "Craft/Macroswill" designations make more sense than the outdated "Domestic/Import" split. There's so much variety in beer now, and they have such unique costs due to so many factors, I would prefer they simply have 1 section called "Beer" and list an individual price for each one. I understand that it costs a lot more to make a glass of Dogfish Head 120 Minute IPA than it does to make a Coors Lite. But there's no reason a Stella Artois should cost the same as a Stone Ruination.

Most of the good tap rooms in my town do price their beers individually, with the lists on chalk boards for frequent updating. But you won't see Stella at them.
 
It wasn't about beer per se, but it was on a recent podcast on BeerSmith: Chaz Benedict, talking about CO2 purity, said it was pretty much a crap shoot unless you buy certified gas. Crap shoot, as in the dice game, as in random throw of the dice. And Brad bleeped out the word "crap". Really?
 
The same people who've owned it for a long time. Shareholders from around the world.

Or did you mean where their corporate headquarters happen to be? 'Cause their breweries are where they've always been - in the US. I don't think they make any actual beer at their corporate headquarters.

Isn't Globalization great? Borders? What borders?

I like to base off of where headquarters are located or where 90% of the profit goes. One could argue that 90% of the profit stays with shareholders in the USA. End the end where/who's economy does the profit get spent.

Back to the funny's, Crap really? I have heard much worse aired over the radio and it was not by mistake.
 
Crap really? I have heard much worse aired over the radio and it was not by mistake.
I suspect it's an overreaction to the lack of bleeps on The Session on the Brewing Network - which I listen to regularly as much for the info as for the asshattery.

And you can hear some "funny" things about beer on the BN too, like when Doc starts making cr*p up because he doesn't know the answer but doesn't want to say he doesn't know. I was busting up over a 2008 episode when he was trying to sound knowledgeable about making vinegar (something I do regularly) but clearly was either too drunk or too ignorant of the process to answer.

I'm glad no one records and archives the crap I've said over the years. Oh, wait, I guess there's Homebrew Digest
 
The same people who've owned it for a long time. Shareholders from around the world.

Or did you mean where their corporate headquarters happen to be? 'Cause their breweries are where they've always been - in the US. I don't think they make any actual beer at their corporate headquarters.

Isn't Globalization great? Borders? What borders?

Sure, but there's nothing more satisfying than telling some pinhead that his 'Merican beer is owned by some dirty foreigners. :D
 
I was just at lunch and the "Local Favorites" on the menu were Bud Light, Miller Light and Mich Ultra.
 
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