I'm boooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeedddddddddddd
dontdrinkbeer
How many words do you make up per review?
some are legit for reals words, others are compounds or portmanteaus (this is a real word) of other words to communicate an idea more effectively. Some are outdated linguistic heaters that I dust of to get the kickback poppin.
What is your favorite 'tome?
Best tome, simple question, 2004 Ete. Smoketome haters form a single line and GTFO.
Where do memes come from?
when a mother meme accepts the spermatazoa into her nuclei, a proto-meme is formed. This is usually a hald formed meme like a penis drawn on an already existing photo. With nurturing the meme evolves in the cytoplasm as other organisms accept it or reject it, it soon becomes an adaptable fully-grown JPEG and propagates itself onto a variety of hosts. Each feeling as though they are the original progenitor. Life is beautiful.
What made you decide to branch out from beer reviews and start doing Onion-style satirical articles about the beer scene?
DDB has evolved over the course of the last year with vedeo revues and now asserting a more focused satirical narrative. After 1000 reviews each around 900 words about liquid sugar beverages, it feels like a busted ass Previa full of honorable hmong people, and you need to flip that whip. It certainly wasn't
SeaWatchman 's suggestion. I was already doing that **** and addressing beer topics with the already established faux narration was the next logical step to completely copying Maddox and producing watered down journalism.
What is your favorite Golden Road beer?
I used to think Golden Road beers were really shitty, largely because they were really shitty.
Now that they nabbed Jesse from Drake's I can't keep up with all their **** these days but their American Barleywine was solid and their IRS was also in that Totality vein, pretty legit, would bang again/but not save in the phone.
Did you watch the sports match on Sunday?
I watched the Superball and it was pretty okay, one team scored a lot of points and the horses didn't seem to be scoring much of any points. There was a big square board that people kept consulting at the end of each segment and there was much glad handing and equanimity. I drank the following beers out of red cups:
BA speedway
Brandy Bois
BCBCSBCSBCS
Kuhnhenn Manhattan project
Which team did you want to score the most balls?
Usually I am indifferent about how many balls are scored, but being raised as a Raiders fan, I wanted the Broncos to have less balls or at least smaller balls. I hope this clears up my stance on the AFC.
What's it like to have people from all over the country send you free beer just so you can destroy it?
It is pretty okay. Sometimes people want to send me things that are ridiculous like
secretpizza sending me VSB, other times its a janky red ale from someone whose uncle is trying to put 200 empty calories on my frame. Life is all about balance and hater avoidance. Sometimes head brewers get drunk and promise to send me free things and then totally forget about it, then ALL OF A SUDDEN I AM THE ******* ASKING ABOUT THE FREE BOX THAT MADE MY MALT SHAFT POUND SO LONGINGLY.
EDIT: Obligatory
http://dontdrinkbeer.com/
that site is shitty