Dealing with Angry Wife when Upgrading Brewing Equipment: A How-To Thread

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davidabcd said:
Did you mean to be funny there? It turned out to be.
Note: Not making fun of divorce, itself.
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Slightly, I really should've mentioned he did it multpile times with his ex-wives. Not intending to make fun of divorce itself, but my uncle.
 
I'm single, but as far as this topic goes I might as well be married. I have been contemplating going electric for several years. I really would like the Spike turnkey system. I looked at the Brew-Boss, the Grainfather and the cheaper knock offs. Right now it is between trying to convert one of my 10 gallon pots to e-BIAB or the Unibrau. I like the Unibrau in that all the components are off the shelf, so that if anything needs replacing you can do it easily. And I don't have to source all the parts and figure out how to put them all together, including the fittings on the pot.

But I have someone on my shoulder whispering in my ear. "Are you crazy to spend all that money?"
 
I wouldn't waste the engraving space by putting it underground.
lump42 said:
Slightly, I really should've mentioned he did it multpile times with his ex-wives. Not intending to make fun of divorce itself, but my uncle.
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Right, divorce--not funny.
I read the line and laughed.
Cheers.
 
kh54s10 said:
But I have someone on my shoulder whispering in my ear. "Are you crazy to spend all that money?"
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You’re not framing the problem correctly. Your decision isn’t whether to spend the money out not, its whether you spend it on stainless or shoes.

Easy now?
 
Or both. Very easy...

SSShoes.png
 
I’m torn between

1) separate “allowance” accounts.

2) “what, this old thing? I’ve had it for years!” ( deny, deny, deny)

3) it will put the lotion on, or it gets the hose again.

I’m not telling which way I’m leaning.......
 
Schlenkerla said:
That's for quoting. I tried to delete the picture and replace it with the link.

I see it got deleted for good reason.
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The picture remains in all new posts Timeline as the last picture posted. - LoL
6Tap said:
Looks like a sanitary uniform for brew day! [emoji482]
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Hairs get caught in it..... Ouch.... Damn.

It's a green epilady trimmer - LoL
 
Speaking of stainless. If I understand this correctly, buying your wife new clothes will make her less reactive.



passivate
/ˈpasɪveɪt/
verb
  1. make (a metal or other substance) unreactive by altering the surface layer or coating the surface with a thin inert layer.
 
Personally, there's some debt that I consider "normal". A mortgage, maybe a car loan, are pretty ubiquitous and not a big deal (IMO) if you have a reasonable salary and you didn't seriously over extend on them. If you're making $30k a year and have a $750/mo car payment for a BMW, that's not "normal" in my book (not saying you're doing that).

If you have a lot of other debt (credit cards, second mortgage, student loans), I'd work hard to get those knocked out. We ran up some credit card debt when we were younger and getting it paid off was a huge PITA. We work hard now to not carry any debt other than our mortgage (which is less than half the value of our house) and, at times, a car loan.

My personal approach would be to pay off the debt and not have a tricked out brewing rig. Even with my debt situation and income that's halfway to 7 figures, I mash in a cooler, ferment in a big mount bubbler, and boil with a bayou KAB4 burner. It's easy to get caught up in all the fancy equipment and convince yourself you need a mini-pro system, but you don't.
 
Well said hwk-I-st8,

The money saved on interest should easily pay off the brew rig if he still wants it.

Also, taking on debt for a brew rig is a big red flag. 0% interest is a trap for many people. I think your wife is correct and you owe her an apology.

I’ve been brewing for 10 years and have slowly been replacing parts with bling. Every piece of bling was well thought out and purchased with money I saved specifically for brewing. Brewing on a cobbled together setup has been a point of pride.
 
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dustinstriplin said:
0% interest is a trap for many people.
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0% interest is a great tool when used properly (for the consumer, not the lender..) I have done it several times. I had the money to buy the item outright. But that would drain my savings account and lessen the minimal interest it was accruing. So in the past I had 6 months to a year with no payments, I made several over the period and had it paid off on time - no interest. Now, it is not as great a deal as they require a monthly payment and if you miss any of them the entire amount of the interest is added back. The interest on these is also astronomical so DO NOT miss a payment.
 
kh54s10 said:
0% interest is a great tool when used properly (for the consumer, not the lender..)
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Most people pay off 0% loans without incurring penalties, but there is a significant percentage of people who do incur penalties. The risk associated with the loan is very real as you've outlined.

It can be a good tool, I don't see how using a 0 interest loan on a homebrew rig could ever be classified as a "great tool". It is a tool for the company to sell more units. The risk associated with opening the 0 interest loan, combined with the fact that a high interest savings will only return as much as the loan origination fee (maybe), means that 0 interest loans are almost never a good idea for impulse purchases such as a brew rig.

Using a 0 interest loan is almost always worse than paying up front. People are likely to spend more when they are using a loan. In this case, it sounds like the original poster doesn't have the money up front, so he is in a very risky position of defaulting.
 
It depends on where you are getting the 0 interest loan. I am using credit cards. There is no origination fee. I know I am going to pay it off so the only risk I incur is if I am stupid and miss a payment.
I don't lose anything over paying up front. In fact I make something. It is very little these days, but by leaving the money in my savings account it makes a little interest that I would lose if I paid up front.
 
It sounds like you are doing credit cards right and are disciplined. Many people aren't as disciplined as you. They are the reason 0 interest cards exist. These banks offer these plans because they are profitable. Everybody believes they can be disciplined when they sign up for one of these cards, but the fact of the matter is, many people default for one reason or another.

OP is opening lines of credit behind his wife's back. All while having a "considerable amount of debt". He thinks it's a good idea to take on more debt?!? This is certainly a bad idea. It shows lack of financial judgement, and lack of respect for his wife.
 
CC are great when you need some EPA cannister on the car and don't have the 800 clams to fix it in order to drive to work. Discipline is the key.
 
balrog said:
CC are great when you need some EPA cannister on the car and don't have the 800 clams to fix it in order to drive to work. Discipline is the key.
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Never been a time in my life, even as a kid, where I thought it was a good idea to spend all the money I had. Relying on a CC for unexpected expense (or worse, day to day expenses) is why so many people are in bad financial shape. Vicious cycle if you let yourself get into it.

I’ve never paid a penny of credit card interest in my entire life and managed all other debts intelligently. I put every expense I can on credit cards and get the cash back. Last month I got $129 back.

I dropped 3 grand on conical and glycol last year. Told the wife some shiny stuff was on the way and asked if she wanted to know what and how much. She said no i trust you. We keep separate accounts but everything still transparent and regularly discussed.
 
Bohern said:
This is exactly what me and my wife did years ago.

We set up a household bill account that covered all of our bills. We then figured out what percentage both of us made of our total income, so for an example lets say I made 60% and she made 40% of our total income. We then each had to put in 60/40 split on the bills so all was even and all of our regular bills come out of that one account.

We then each have our own account we can do whatever we wish to do, even if that means me spending a boatload of money on brew pots or the such.
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This is exactly what my wife and I do, works incredibly well. This way there's no issue. If we have debts we need to pay, we include whatever our monthly repayment would be in our bills until it's paid off. This way she gets her discretionary spending money each week and so do I. If I want to blow my money on brewing equipment and supplies I do, and same goes for her. There's no hard feelings this way.
 
DarkLarva said:
This is exactly what my wife and I do, works incredibly well. This way there's no issue. If we have debts we need to pay, we include whatever our monthly repayment would be in our bills until it's paid off. This way she gets her discretionary spending money each week and so do I. If I want to blow my money on brewing equipment and supplies I do, and same goes for her. There's no hard feelings this way.
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It still comes back to communication and agreeing on how to spend money. If you have debt, it needs to be addressed before any frivolous spending. If you are going to add bling to your brewing system or she is going to buy the latest fashion while there is still debt, it has to be agreed upon, otherwise you will be starting a thread similar to this one.
 
Brewmegoodbeer said:
Fellow Brewers,

My wife gets very angry every time I make a brewery upgrade. The first time, it was the 5 gallon Spike conical (~450) and she was very angry as she thought it should be a mutual buying decision aka I should have asked her before I spent my money. This time it was the Spike hot liquor tank (~650). She is livid. On both purchases, I used Klarna which allows one to make 6 months in payment plans 0 percent interest.

I love the hobby of brewing and I am slowly upgrading my brewery to the exact way I want it. It would model the Spike Brewing system when I am finished. She doesn’t understand why I keep buying expensive things to brew with and just wants me to use what I have. In a way, she’s right. I can brew with what I have but I want to brew with what I WANT. I went to college for 10 years and sacrificed almost all of my twenties to earn a doctorate degree. Not to boast, but Ill just be breaking the six figure mark in salary this year. I want to enjoy my hobbies. We have a considerable amount of debt that is being slowly but surely paid off. She wants most of my pay and hers to go to paying off debt but where is the enjoyment on sacrificing after you have already sacrificed 10 years of your life to get where you are? Anyways...
Do any of you guys/gals deal with the same thing from your significant others and if so, how do you manage?
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I'm a CPA so there's no way I could sign off on the bolded
 
kh54s10 said:
Know nothing about Klarna, but why not a 0% interest loan? If there are not origination fees.
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Maybe the 2nd part I bolded('we have a considerable amount of debt') wasn't showing because they collapsed what I quoted, but that is why. You shouldn't be taking on more debt(even 0% interest) if you already have a ton of debt which I'm assuming is not 0%
 
There seems to be many posts here with the same message.
You could live somewhat miserably, with the debt reduction as the highest priority, or you could allow for some wiggle room for each partner to enjoy some hobbies.
Either way is not wrong, but each person MUST agree to the plan.
 
Bobby_M said:
You need a mad money fund. Its for buying things only you want and you dont rationalize or ask permission for. Wife gets one too. It is funded by a portion of your joint salary, something you both decide on.
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This is what I did. I have X amount of dollars that come out of my check in the form of a allotment and go into a account totally separate from our joint account. She knows I have it and I tell her how much is going into it. I also have a debit card that works as a credit card to make purchases with. Works real well for me.
so she can't monitor what I'm buying.

OBTW: My wife is so tight with money that she gets a text message when I charge over 25.00 on our shared credit card.
 
DarkLarva said:
This is exactly what my wife and I do, works incredibly well. This way there's no issue. If we have debts we need to pay, we include whatever our monthly repayment would be in our bills until it's paid off. This way she gets her discretionary spending money each week and so do I. If I want to blow my money on brewing equipment and supplies I do, and same goes for her. There's no hard feelings this way.
Click to expand...
The wife and I do the same. It works excellent. Cheers
 
dustinstriplin said:
It can be a good tool, I don't see how using a 0 interest loan on a homebrew rig could ever be classified as a "great tool". It is a tool for the company to sell more units. The risk associated with opening the 0 interest loan, combined with the fact that a high interest savings will only return as much as the loan origination fee (maybe), means that 0 interest loans are almost never a good idea for impulse purchases such as a brew rig.
Click to expand...

I think we got sidetracked on debt, and didn't look at this specific situation. I think there are valuable uses for debt. Buying a house, taking on loans for a business [investing in yourself, essentially], etc.

But I learned a valuable lesson right out of college. I financed a motorcycle. I owned that motorcycle several years, but I wrecked it on a racetrack [where I couldn't make an insurance claim]. I owed $1900 still on the bike, but couldn't rationalize continuing to make the payments while also having to drop money into it to make necessary repairs just to make it rideable. So I sold it for $1500, ate the remaining $400 out of pocket, and haven't owned a bike since.

The lesson? Don't finance toys.

Debt can be used for some things, responsibly. But if you are talking about toys, i.e. a motorcycle, or brew bling, or anything else you don't NEED, you shouldn't be using debt to buy it if you can't afford it out of pocket immediately.

(There are possible exceptions for some 0% stuff, or credit cards with rewards if you pay them off in full each month, etc. I.e. if you *can* afford it out of pocket, but there are financial reasons to use the float, then it can make sense. But it sounds like OP wanted to use the 0% "pay it over 6 months" thing because he doesn't have that kind of cash on hand.)
 
bwarbiany said:
I think we got sidetracked on debt, and didn't look at this specific situation. I think there are valuable uses for debt. Buying a house, taking on loans for a business [investing in yourself, essentially], etc.

But I learned a valuable lesson right out of college. I financed a motorcycle. I owned that motorcycle several years, but I wrecked it on a racetrack [where I couldn't make an insurance claim]. I owed $1900 still on the bike, but couldn't rationalize continuing to make the payments while also having to drop money into it to make necessary repairs just to make it rideable. So I sold it for $1500, ate the remaining $400 out of pocket, and haven't owned a bike since.

The lesson? Don't finance toys.

Debt can be used for some things, responsibly. But if you are talking about toys, i.e. a motorcycle, or brew bling, or anything else you don't NEED, you shouldn't be using debt to buy it if you can't afford it out of pocket immediately.

(There are possible exceptions for some 0% stuff, or credit cards with rewards if you pay them off in full each month, etc. I.e. if you *can* afford it out of pocket, but there are financial reasons to use the float, then it can make sense. But it sounds like OP wanted to use the 0% "pay it over 6 months" thing because he doesn't have that kind of cash on hand.)
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So yeah, so don't buy toys you can't afford right now.

It still gets back to need vs want. Want is assumed to be yes for all:

1 - You don't need it, can't afford it. Don't buy it.

2 - You need it, can't afford it. Buy it? - Don't buy, Save.

3 - You don't need it, can afford it. Buy it? - Maybe.

4 - You need it, can afford it. Buy it? - Yes.
 
bwarbiany said:
I
The lesson? Don't finance toys.


(There are possible exceptions )
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Another exception would be if an individual has the ability to make extra money if they want to...a side hustle, working overtime, selling stuff....
Many years ago, my brother-in-law passed away from leukemia after a long struggle. One of the things I remember him telling me was "if you see something you really want, go ahead and get it, then work like hell to pay for it!"
The idea is that if you wait and save up for something, you'll end up never getting anything. Ok, that's an exaggeration, but there is VALUE in having something you can USE while your are "working like hell" to pay for it. I realize many people have fixed salaries and/or no desire to work side jobs or overtime to make extra cash so this idea doesn't work for everyone.
If this hasn't already been said to the OP: "Happy wife=happy life" so quit doing stuff that makes her angry unless you want a divorce. A happy marriage is much more important than beer.
:cask:
 
Schlenkerla said:
So yeah, so don't buy toys you can't afford right now.

It still gets back to need vs want. Want is assumed to be yes for all:

1 - You don't need it, can't afford it. Don't buy it.

2 - You need it, can't afford it. Buy it? - Don't buy, Save.

3 - You don't need it, can afford it. Buy it? - Maybe.

4 - You need it, can afford it. Buy it? - Yes.
Click to expand...

Are you saying that I should not have taken out the 2nd mortgage on my house to buy my brew equipment?? [emoji848][emoji85]
 

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