Dealing with Angry Wife when Upgrading Brewing Equipment: A How-To Thread

[balrog]

I should also point out that my wife doesn't give me grief over purchases... But that's mostly because we're in a very good place financially, and I spoil her just as much as I spoil myself... She's getting this from me for her birthday this year lol...

And if poor old Loius gets dirty, tro it 'tin the wash, it'll be grand.

 

[OpenSights]

Ok, trick is to buy a bunch of brewing equipment collections for cheap off Craigslist from people getting out of the hobby. By the time you have 3 burners, 20 fermenters, three tuns, 6 keggles/kettles, miles of hose and multiples of all the other smalls... eventually when some new random piece of equipment shows up it’s simply camouflaged by everything else....

Obviously I’m joking.... kinda. A month or two ago I hosted brew day and was showing off the one piece of equipment that I didn’t talk to Mrs. OpenSights about. One friend showed up a tad late and at the same time my wife came out to hangout for a few. He said “Is that your new air still?” My other buddy tried to pass it off as a coffee maker. I don’t drink coffee so the jig was up.

She went back inside after about 15 minutes of chit chat. Shortly I got a text with an Amazon link, $178. I bought it used for a club member for $50. I bought it literally one day after selling my jackhammer.

Seriously though, I’ve bought wine kits that were more expensive without asking! The OP has a good plan with the interest free route, which tells me he has good credit and a good conservative/semi frugal sense about him, but a purchase that large, even with an awesome financial plan, I’d still discuss it. I don’t think my wife would ever spend more than $75 on something not necessarily needed.

Edit: I do also believe in buying something once.

 

[blizz81]

I was lamenting the pricey nature of the Spike conical + glycol setup I’ve been pondering while my wife and I brewed on Sunday. She tried to rationalize me into the purchase.

 

[schematix]

Sad I’m so late to the party on this

6 figures with doctorate debt makes you very poor. Dropping over a grand on some toys without some discussion was a poor decision in many ways.

 

[Schlenkerla]

Sad I’m so late to the party on this

6 figures with doctorate debt makes you very poor. Dropping over a grand on some toys without some discussion was a poor decision in many ways.

Wasn't a doctorate in business or psychology.

 

[lump42]

guessing he was looking for us all to back him up and not getting that.
His biggest mistake, IMO was after getting lambasted for the first purchase, he then goes ahead with a second - larger - one without clearing the air with his wife on the first, and rules that go with it.
As far as the larger issue goes - yeah, it's important to clear debt, but as the be-all-and-end-all, there's still room for some fun - be it hobbies, vacations and so on. If she's one of those everything has to be paid off in 5 years types - there's no argueing there, but that's a drag of a life for that time.

I wouldn't be surprised that before the first purchase he broached the subject of purchasing some big equipment and got shut down, then went ahead and started buying stainless. I had an uncle do that multiple times with his ex-wife.

 

[davidabcd]

I had an uncle do that multiple times with his ex-wife.

Did you mean to be funny there? It turned out to be.
Note: Not making fun of divorce, itself.

 

[davidabcd]

In a situation where a couple isn't facing the imminent danger of being kicked out on the street, the difficulty is never just about the money. There's an underlying reason, whatever it may be.

The advice here is solid, in the main, but information every adult should basically already know. It is also information that any new couple can find within a half hour with some searching or by asking a reliable source.

 

[Schlenkerla]

Fellow Brewers,

My wife gets very angry every time I make a brewery upgrade. The first time, it was the 5 gallon Spike conical (~450) and she was very angry as she thought it should be a mutual buying decision aka I should have asked her before I spent my money. This time it was the Spike hot liquor tank (~650). She is livid. On both purchases, I used Klarna which allows one to make 6 months in payment plans 0 percent interest.

Do any of you guys/gals deal with the same thing from your significant others and if so, how do you manage?

Since this is supposed to be a How-To Thread.

This is one option.

 

[GeneDaniels1963]

Can we get a poll going?
OP hasn't posted because

• Wife sold the computer to buy the kids shoes
• Busy brewing
• Wife reads HBT
• ???

She buried him in the backyard with his new brewing equipment.

 

[Shwagger]

Dont get married. Easy

No wife, incredible life

 

[Schlenkerla]

Dont get married. Easy

No wife, incredible life

Lots of masterbation and stainless steel.

 

[SEndorf]

A couple of fairly harsh responses here....

 

[schematix]

Lots of masterbation and stainless steel.

Also known as married life.

 

[lump42]

Did you mean to be funny there? It turned out to be.
Note: Not making fun of divorce, itself.

Slightly, I really should've mentioned he did it multpile times with his ex-wives. Not intending to make fun of divorce itself, but my uncle.

 

[kh54s10]

I'm single, but as far as this topic goes I might as well be married. I have been contemplating going electric for several years. I really would like the Spike turnkey system. I looked at the Brew-Boss, the Grainfather and the cheaper knock offs. Right now it is between trying to convert one of my 10 gallon pots to e-BIAB or the Unibrau. I like the Unibrau in that all the components are off the shelf, so that if anything needs replacing you can do it easily. And I don't have to source all the parts and figure out how to put them all together, including the fittings on the pot.

But I have someone on my shoulder whispering in my ear. "Are you crazy to spend all that money?"

 

[davidabcd]

I wouldn't waste the engraving space by putting it underground.

Slightly, I really should've mentioned he did it multpile times with his ex-wives. Not intending to make fun of divorce itself, but my uncle.

Right, divorce--not funny.
I read the line and laughed.
Cheers.

 

[Pkrd]

But I have someone on my shoulder whispering in my ear. "Are you crazy to spend all that money?"

You’re not framing the problem correctly. Your decision isn’t whether to spend the money out not, its whether you spend it on stainless or shoes.

Easy now?

 

[SEndorf]

Or both. Very easy...

 

[Soulshine2]

Simply put.... It has flavor.
She's a coors light kinda gal..

One of my wifes friends is just like that. Coors light...all night.

 

[6Tap]

Hell, just go with underwear... Kinky Chainmail.

Warning! --- Not Safe For Work.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/713509...Ssj11o4-2aeo6IQV803IlapyslgZxREgaAu5hEALw_wcB

Looks like a sanitary uniform for brew day! [emoji482]

 

[501irishred]

I’m torn between

1) separate “allowance” accounts.

2) “what, this old thing? I’ve had it for years!” ( deny, deny, deny)

3) it will put the lotion on, or it gets the hose again.

I’m not telling which way I’m leaning.......

 

[Schlenkerla]

Looks like a sanitary uniform for brew day! [emoji482]

Thank's for quoting. I tried to delete the picture and replace it with the link.

I see it got deleted for good reason.

 

[Schlenkerla]

That's for quoting. I tried to delete the picture and replace it with the link.

I see it got deleted for good reason.

The picture remains in all new posts Timeline as the last picture posted. - LoL

Looks like a sanitary uniform for brew day! [emoji482]

Hairs get caught in it..... Ouch.... Damn.

It's a green epilady trimmer - LoL

 

[Pkrd]

Speaking of stainless. If I understand this correctly, buying your wife new clothes will make her less reactive.



passivate
/ˈpasɪveɪt/
verb

1. make (a metal or other substance) unreactive by altering the surface layer or coating the surface with a thin inert layer.

 

[dustinstriplin]

edit: I will refrain

just gonna leave this here - https://www.amazon.com/Total-Money-...1567752112&s=gateway&sr=8-1&tag=forumyield-20

 

[jmcquesten]

Lots of masterbation and stainless steel.

....vs no stainless steel.

 

[Soulshine2]

That was true of my ex-wife. My wife loves my beer and likes to hang out in the garage with me when I brew.

I didn't replace my ex... I upgraded ;-)

https://media.giphy.com/media/14rEJREdvkfx1m/giphy.gif

 

[Hwk-I-St8]

Personally, there's some debt that I consider "normal". A mortgage, maybe a car loan, are pretty ubiquitous and not a big deal (IMO) if you have a reasonable salary and you didn't seriously over extend on them. If you're making $30k a year and have a $750/mo car payment for a BMW, that's not "normal" in my book (not saying you're doing that).

If you have a lot of other debt (credit cards, second mortgage, student loans), I'd work hard to get those knocked out. We ran up some credit card debt when we were younger and getting it paid off was a huge PITA. We work hard now to not carry any debt other than our mortgage (which is less than half the value of our house) and, at times, a car loan.

My personal approach would be to pay off the debt and not have a tricked out brewing rig. Even with my debt situation and income that's halfway to 7 figures, I mash in a cooler, ferment in a big mount bubbler, and boil with a bayou KAB4 burner. It's easy to get caught up in all the fancy equipment and convince yourself you need a mini-pro system, but you don't.

 

[dustinstriplin]

Well said hwk-I-st8,

The money saved on interest should easily pay off the brew rig if he still wants it.

Also, taking on debt for a brew rig is a big red flag. 0% interest is a trap for many people. I think your wife is correct and you owe her an apology.

I’ve been brewing for 10 years and have slowly been replacing parts with bling. Every piece of bling was well thought out and purchased with money I saved specifically for brewing. Brewing on a cobbled together setup has been a point of pride.