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Chuck Norris dammit!

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There is no global warming. Chuck Norris got cold and turned up the sun.
 
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
 
When Chuck Norris enters a room he doesn't turn on the lights, he turns off the dark.
 
Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
 
Chuck Norris uses the Total Gym.

That's the joke.

Oh god... I take it back... I take it all back.


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Chuck Norris can cut a knife.......with butter
 
Chuck Norris once sold his soul to the Devil, but then promptly kicked the Devil's ass and took his soul back. The Devil acknowledged he should have seen that coming.

Chuck Norris knock-knock joke:

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Look behind you.
 
Chuck Norris once peed in a semi truck's fuel tank as a joke.

That truck is now known as Optimus Prime
 
Chuck Norris can speak French... In Russian.
 
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