Chuck Norris dammit!

[DakotaRules]

Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.
Love does not hurt. Chuck Norris does.
A rogue squirrel once challenged Chuck Norris to a nut hunt around the park. Before beginning, Chuck simply dropped his pants, instantly killing the squirrel and 3 small children. Chuck knows you can't find bigger, better nuts than that.
Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
Before Chuck Norris was born, the martial arts weapons consisting of two pieces of wood connected by a chain were called "Nun Barrys". No one ever did find out what happened to Barry.
M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this.

 

[lschiavo]

Chuck Norris is a red haired businessman that blows bubbles with other businessmen.

 

[JINKS]

There was a movement to carve Chuck Norris' face on Mount Rushmore, but they found out the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard.

 

[SierraBravo]

There are no such things as tornadoes...
Chuck Norris just really hates trailer parks!