Best News Headlines

[Hopsimus]

Pack of dachshund-terrier mix dogs maul, kill woman.

I feel bad for the woman, but seriously, weiner dogs?

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

Pack of dachshund-terrier mix dogs maul, kill woman.

I feel bad for the woman, but seriously, weiner dogs?

Same thoughts I had when the story broke local news. Hey, at least it wasn't toy chihuahua.

 

[Hopsimus]

Kim Jong Un brought his own toilet to the summit with Trump

Paranoid much?

 

[ancientmariner52]

Kim Jong Un brought his own toilet to the summit with Trump

Paranoid much?

I thought he, um, didn't require a toilet?

 

[Hopsimus]

Mom Bakes ‘1’ Cookies For Son’s First Birthday And They Look Like This

I think everyone can guess what they look like...

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

Kim Jong Un brought his own toilet to the summit with Trump

Paranoid much?

I get it. Asia has a long history of using toilet samples to evaluate health before DNA was ever a notion.

 

[bpgreen]

Pack of dachshund-terrier mix dogs maul, kill woman.

I feel bad for the woman, but seriously, weiner dogs?

Dachsunds are hunting dogs. They were originally bred to go into badger burrows and flush out the badgers.

Badgers are pretty vicious animals, and dachshunds dig into their burrows and pick fights with them.

 

[CGVT]

C'mon. That post was funny. Don't ruin it with facts.

 

[GrogNerd]

Suspected Walmart robber tries to carjack two different cars, both drivers pull out guns

“I reached in between my glove box and my console, between my seats, reached down and got my weapon and brandished it for him,” Reardean told WJXT. “He was like, ‘Don’t shoot me.’ I was like, ‘Then get out of here.’”

 

[afro_lou]

The latest from Florida Man

 

[nmfree]

Woman wearing only a towel steals car and dog from Georgia family

 

[homebrewer_99]

OWEEEE!!!!

Seagull rips off man’s testicle as he sunbathes naked.

I'm guessing he can only do that 1 more time?

 

[GrogNerd]

Fan injured after being struck by hot dog shot by Phillie Phanatic

#1 - even the mascots of Philly sports teams are evil

#2 - who the hell thought hot dog projectiles were a good idea?

 

[Hopsimus]

Fan injured after being struck by hot dog shot by Phillie Phanatic

I suppose now they will have to add "watch for flying hot dogs" to the back of the ticket along with "watch for foul balls".

 

[sweetcell]

I suppose now they will have to add "watch for flying hot dogs" to the back of the ticket along with "watch for foul balls".

... and batteries.

 

[catdaddy66]

Serious topic... Seriously funny headline!

https://www.bloomberg.com/amp/news/...ms-from-gaza-newest-threat-to-southern-israel

 

[ancientmariner52]

Serious topic... Seriously funny headline!

https://www.bloomberg.com/amp/news/...ms-from-gaza-newest-threat-to-southern-israel

Wow! Japan's armed forces tried this in WW2. 40 thousand balloon bombs floated across the Pacific, iirc. Started a few small fires in Oregon, mostly defeated by the great Pacific Northwet.

 

[Hopsimus]

Cops Fired After Blaming Missing Half-Ton Of Pot On Stoner Mice

So, if a mouse eats pot, does he get hungry and eat more pot? Armageddon!

 

[Zuljin]

http://www.fox4news.com/news/man-tries-to-alert-bart-police-for-passenger-eating-burrito-on-train

 

[Hopsimus]

http://www.fox4news.com/news/man-tries-to-alert-bart-police-for-passenger-eating-burrito-on-train

There has got to be more important things if life to worry about than some dude eating a burrito on a train...

 

[bleme]

There has got to be more important things if life to worry about than some dude eating a burrito on a train...

I figure the guy must have been REALLY hungry for some reason and the sight/smell pushed him over the edge. I've been hungry enough to claim 'temporary insanity' before...

 

[GrogNerd]

DC Metro is very strict about eating & drinking in the system, and it shows. cars and stations are very clean

while SF allows you to defecate in the streets, why would they care about what you do on mass transit?

 

[radwizard]

MAN SUES STRIP CLUB WHERE HE CONTRACTED SYPHILIS AFTER LICKING DANCE POLE

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PORTLAND, OR | A 28-year-old man who has contracted syphilis after licking a dance pole has filed a lawsuit against an Oregon strip club.

 

[Hopsimus]

MAN SUES STRIP CLUB WHERE HE CONTRACTED SYPHILIS AFTER LICKING DANCE POLE

Wait. So, you aren't allowed to touch the strippers, but you can lick the pole?
That's just.... so wrong.

 

[radwizard]

Wait. So, you aren't allowed to touch the strippers, but you can lick the pole?
That's just.... so wrong.

I know, right! I wonder if he tried to cop a feel on a stripper and she offered him the pole instead.

On a side note: This is recent news in Portland OR. What happens at Homebrewcon does not always stay at Homebrewcon.....

 

[Murphys_Law]

I know, right! I wonder if he tried to cop a feel on a stripper and she offered him the pole instead.

On a side note: This is recent news in Portland OR. What happens at Homebrewcon does not always stay at Homebrewcon.....

Man, there are so many different ways to go with this!

 

[day_trippr]

 

[soccerdad]

Did Something Massive Smash Into Uranus?

https://gizmodo.com/did-something-massive-smash-into-uranus-1827315511

 

[Hopsimus]

Did Something Massive Smash Into Uranus?

https://gizmodo.com/did-something-massive-smash-into-uranus-1827315511

And on a related note: Uranus Smells Like Farts

 

[HoppyDaze]

Lions eat 'rhino poachers' on South African game reserve