Best News Headlines

[soccerdad]

Criadillas for dinner!

 

[grampamark]

“Dairy Queen burgers are not made of human flesh, a county coroner is forced to confirm”

Link here.

 

[catdaddy66]

https://news.google.com/articles/CA...jsP7CjCSpPQCMKCK0wU?hl=en-US&gl=US&ceid=US:en

Karma... She ees a beetch, no??

 

[day_trippr]

Aaaaaand He's Back Again!

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/keith-mounts-machete-florida-****-happened_n_5d66e1f0e4b063c341fa1a9f

 

[gratus fermentatio]

Meanwhile in KY...

 

[Robert65]

Police report finding dead body (legal) and drugs (not legal) during traffic stop in Coventry Township



https://www.ohio.com/news/20190829/...egal-during-traffic-stop-in-coventry-township

 

[HoppyDaze]

https://news.google.com/articles/CAIiEP4HSpBzrT7xZiLeZ_eaOhEqGQgEKhAIACoHCAowjsP7CjCSpPQCMKCK0wU?hl=en-US&gl=US&ceid=US:en

Karma... She ees a beetch, no??

If you've ever been to Kennewick Washington...you'd not be surprised by this at all.

 

[balrog]

If you've ever been to Kennewick Washington...you'd not be surprised by this at all.

Or some small "towns" in East TN where I grew up...

 

[Hanglow]

https://metro.co.uk/2019/08/29/volunteers-polish-giants-erection-hand-10648785/

 

[nmfree]

Thankfully, Dave Barry is here to give us all tips on how to survive a hurricane.

...there's no funny headline here, but that seems to be par for the course for the "Funny Headline Thread".

 

[catdaddy66]

https://www.npr.org/2019/09/01/7564...into-an-elevator-he-gets-stuck-for-25-minutes

Is this how Pope jokes get started??

 

[Tobor_8thMan]

Ohio State trying to trademark the word "THE"

https://www.news5cleveland.com/life...iles-a-trademark-application-for-the-word-the

Should trademark the cliche word "Like". Drives me completely mental, not in a good way, hearing people speak and use the word over and over and over and over...

Superfluous waste. My LIT 101 professor is probably turning over in her grave.

"Like", IMO, is right us there with the PITA, "Literally". Geez...

 

[Robert65]

Should trademark the cliche word "Like". Drives me completely mental, not in a good way, hearing people speak and use the word over and over and over and over...

Superfluous waste. My LIT 101 professor is probably turning over in her grave.

"Like", IMO, is right us there with the PITA, "Literally". Geez...

And in the other corner,

https://theamericanscholar.org/in-defense-of-like/

Though for my part I agree that there are more more articulate ways of expressing such modulations and gradations. But who has time to think before speaking, it seems.

Sorry for, like, going OT. [emoji6]

 

[Tobor_8thMan]

Total BS. The writer of the article "In Defense of “Like” obviously has some mental defect.

 

[day_trippr]

Florida Man is considerate!

"Florida Burglar Breaks Into Home To Make Breakfast, Tells Resident ‘Go Back To Sleep'"

 

[catdaddy66]

https://www.yahoo.com/news/packers-bears-ive-never-had-my-butt-fingered-105431139.html

Good, family tv...

 

[day_trippr]

On topic, anyway...

https://www.cnn.com/2019/09/06/uk/man-charged-67000-for-beer-gbr-trnd/index.html

Even Tree House couldn't get away with that

 

[day_trippr]

Things that make you say "WTF!"

https://www.cnn.com/travel/article/plane-diverted-coffee-spill-intl-scli/index.html

 

[balrog]

Pepsi Syndrome.

 

[catdaddy66]

Wondering if this goes here or the "Obnoxious football trash talk" thread...

https://www.google.com/amp/s/nypost...own-allegedly-farted-in-his-doctors-face/amp/

 

[day_trippr]

It's on topic for both, so either would be fine, though it likely would receive a louder response in the football thread

Cheers!

 

[OG-wan Kenobi]

I don't think there is any surprise here


Florida Couple Attempted To Have Sex In Cop Car: Police


https://www.yahoo.com/huffpost/florida-couple-sex-in-cop-car-174733911.html

 

[balrog]

Impressive to be handcuffed, in the back of a car, and be able to get naked.

The power of alcohol should never be underestimated.

 

[Robert65]

The power of alcohol should never be underestimated.

It did give the naked, handcuffed dude the good sense to run straight to the Cold Stone Creamery, where he could clearly blend right in.

 

[day_trippr]

Anyone remember the human weebles in the movie WALL·E, cuz that's where we're headed

https://www.cnn.com/2019/09/17/us/kfc-donut-chicken-sandwich-trnd/index.html

 

[OG-wan Kenobi]

It did give the naked, handcuffed dude the good sense to run straight to the Cold Stone Creamery, where he could clearly blend right in.

That was my favorite part

 

[balrog]

O
M
G

So very, very, Very, VERY wrong.


(Yes. I want one. Now)

 

[sweetcell]

Impressive to be handcuffed, in the back of a car, and be able to get naked.

The power of alcohol should never be underestimated.

i got way more of a meth vibe...

 

[sweetcell]

got a smile outta this one:

Two Amish men escape police after being pulled over for drinking and driving their horse and buggy
https://www.cnn.com/2019/09/18/us/amish-men-drinking-and-driving-trnd/index.html

 

[day_trippr]

Another "Not-Best", this one's a real cocked-up tragedy that leaves the reader wondering wth happened...

American drowns after proposing to his girlfriend underwater in Tanzania